Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety
Leticia stared at the party invitation on her phone.
She liked her friend, truly. Normally, she’d want to go, laugh, and celebrate. But instead of feeling excited, her chest tightened. Her mind began its usual swirl of questions:
What if I say something awkward?
What if no one talks to me at all?
What if I want to leave early, and it’s obvious I don’t belong?
The party was five days away… but the dread was already loud. She knew this pattern.
***
Joe, meanwhile, gripped the steering wheel of his parked car.
He had a work appointment across town. The quickest route was the highway, but it meant crossing that bridge. Every time he imagined the drive, his heart thudded.
What if I panic halfway across?
What if I lose control and cause a wreck?
What if people think I’m crazy?
He hadn’t left yet, but his body acted like he was already mid-crisis. This is anticipatory anxiety. And it’s more common—and more persuasive—than you think.
What Is Anticipatory Anxiety?
Anticipatory anxiety is fear of something that hasn’t even happened yet. It’s not the moment itself—it’s the lead-up. And often, the lead-up is worse than the actual experience.
You start imagining the worst:
→ What if it’s uncomfortable?
→ What if I can’t handle it?
→ What if I embarrass myself?
Your body reacts as if the event has already gone horribly wrong. Stomach knots. Chest tightens. Thoughts race.
The irony? We suffer twice—once in anticipation, and again (maybe) during the real event. Sometimes we suffer only in anticipation. But it still takes a toll.
How Common Is It?
Roughly 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experience an anxiety disorder every year.¹ Anticipatory anxiety isn’t a clinical diagnosis, but it shows up frequently with:
Panic Disorder, marked by recurring panic attacks, which I used to get.
Generalized Anxiety, which is overall nervousness typically accompanied by muscle tension and other physical maladies, such as headaches and stomach issues.
Social Anxiety, where you might turn red and perspire, feel you’ll be judged harshly, and may avoid going to events like weddings and even restaurants and skip work meetings where you might be expected to speak up.
OCD, which has many subtypes including the “taboo.”
Still, you don’t need a diagnosis to experience it. We’ve all played the “what if” game. It’s part of being human in a fearful, fallen world.
Why Is Anticipatory Anxiety So Convincing?
Because it pretends to help. “If I worry now,” we tell ourselves, “maybe I’ll be ready later.” It feels productive. But it’s not.
Leticia believed that obsessing over the party might help her avoid embarrassment.
Joe thought that rehearsing every scary bridge scenario might keep him safe.
But it didn’t make either of them braver—it just wore them down. Worry doesn’t prepare you. It depletes you. It tempts you to avoid the very things that could bring joy, progress, or healing.
Leticia nearly canceled her RSVP. Joe seriously considered calling off the appointment.
Avoidance might bring peace today, but it plants deeper fear for tomorrow.
What Does God Say?
God doesn’t mock us for being afraid. He meets us in it.
“Do not be anxious about anything…” Philippians 4:6
Not a guilt-trip. An invitation.
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
Jesus experienced anticipatory anxiety too. Is this a shocker?
In the Garden of Gesthemane, the night before his death, he faced “anguish, dread, anxiety, profound agitation, disquiet, angst… Jesus sinlessly experienced all of these troubling human emotions before Gethsemane. Jesus, as our sympathetic High Priest understands our feelings of impending dread,” Bob Kellemen observes in “The Emotional Life of Christ and Our
Emotions.”
How to Respond to Anticipatory Anxiety
Both Leticia and Joe made small but powerful shifts. Instead of trying to push down the fear, they turned faced it and toward God. Here’s the exact process they followed.
You can too:
1. Name the Fear Clearly
Generic fear stays big and overwhelming. Specific fear? You can work with that.
Leticia said: “I’m afraid I’ll look foolish and be judged.”
Joe said: “I’m afraid I’ll panic on the bridge and lose control.”
Naming the fear weakens its grip. You’re not just “anxious”—you’re confronting a particular lie.
2. Ask: What Does This Fear Say About Me? About God?
Fear often masks deeper beliefs.
Leticia realized, “I fear I’m not likable. I fear being exposed. I fear I’ll feel uncomfortable.”
Joe recognized, “I fear I’m weak. I fear people will see I’m not in control.”
Both Leticia and Joe revealed their deep need to take refuge in our good, great, wise, loving God, “our ever-present help in trouble” and to bring rationality to our emotionality.
3. Bring It to God in Honest Prayer
Both Leticia and Joe prayed simply, sincerely, and right in the middle of their fear.
Leticia prayed: “Lord, I’m nervous about this party. Help me think less about how I’m seen and more about how I can love someone else tonight. Jesus, I submit to Your will.”
Joe prayed: “God, I’m scared to drive this route. I want to avoid it, but I know avoidance keeps me stuck. Help me trust You as I go. You are my Protector.”
This kind of prayer shifts your mindset from self-protection to God-dependence.
4. Take One Small Step of Courage
Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s putting your faith into action in the presence of it.
Leticia chose to attend the party but gave herself permission to leave after 45 minutes. She greeted one person warmly on purpose, paid close attention to the conversation, and reminded herself, “This is just anxiety. I am safe. God is with me.”
Joe planned his route, queued up worship music, and prayed to Jesus Christ as he drove. He made it across the bridge. And he didn’t panic.
Both felt tired afterward—but not ashamed. They had done the hard thing. They had faced the fear and learned it was a false alarm.
5. Reflect on God’s Care—Afterward
Leticia wrote in her journal: “It wasn’t perfect. I was still nervous. But I didn’t let fear win. I stepped out in faith and depended on the Lord’s help.”
Joe told a friend: “I did it. It felt scary, but not impossible. I know I can trust God again next time.”
Looking back helps you see God’s faithfulness. Every small act of courage is evidence that fear doesn’t rule over you anymore.
The End of the Story? Not Yet.
Anticipatory anxiety may return. Probably will.
But now you have a path. You don’t have to obey your fear. You don’t have to solve it all today.
The same God who meets you in fear is faithful (1 Corinthians 10:13). You don’t have to tackle the whole bridge or the whole party.
Just take one step.
Want to Reflect More Deeply?
Take 5 minutes with these prompts:
What’s one situation you’re dreading this week?
What does your fear say about what you value—or what you believe about God?
What truth from Scripture can carry you through that moment? A favorite of mine, which a client taught me is based on Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. He gives me everything I need.”
The Holy Spirit indwells you—not just in the moment you fear, but as you anticipat it too, and over time, as you depend on God, you fear less, trust more, and enjoy God’s promise of unsurpassing peace (Philippians 4:7).
If you’d like help to overcome anticipatory anxiety, click this link to schedule a complimentary consultation with me or my team memmber, Stephen J. Moll, pastor.