Hope for Taboo OCD
Carissa is a committed Christian, happily married to a man she deeply loves. Yet for the past year, she’s been tormented by an intrusive thought: “What if I’m a lesbian and don’t know it?”
She’s never felt attracted to women, but the thought won’t go away. That’s the painful nature of taboo OCD—a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where unwanted thoughts attack what you value most and fill you with guilt, shame, and fear.
Carissa is not alone. She’s facing a specific subtype of taboo OCD, often called Sexual Orientation OCD.
According to the International OCD Foundation, about 1 in 100 adults in the U.S. (roughly 2–3 million people) has OCD. Among those with OCD, up to 50% experience taboo or aggressive/sexual/religious intrusive thoughts as a central part of their problem.
Let’s dive into what it is and see a plan to address it biblically. There is hope!
What Are Taboo OCD Types?
Some intrusive thoughts fall into a category that people are too ashamed to discuss and target the things we care about most—our faith, identity, morality, or relationships. Five common taboo OCD themes involve intrusive thoughts related to:
1. Sexual Orientation OCD (SO-OCD)
Intrusive doubts about one's sexual orientation, such as:
“What if I’m actually gay or bisexual and don’t know it?”
Often includes mental checking, avoidance, or seeking reassurance.
2. Pedophilia OCD (P-OCD)
Intrusive thoughts about being sexually attracted to children, despite no actual desire or intent.
“What if I’m secretly a pedophile?” or “What if I inappropriately touch a child?”
Causes deep shame and fear of being dangerous, evil, or perverted.
3. Violent or Harm OCD
Disturbing thoughts or images of harming others or oneself.
“What if I stab someone I love?” or “What if I push someone into traffic?”
Often leads to avoidance of sharp objects or situations.
4. Incest OCD
Intrusive sexual thoughts about family members.
“What if I have inappropriate feelings toward a sibling or parent?”
Extremely distressing due to its moral and relational implications.
5. Religious or Scrupulosity OCD
Obsessions involving blasphemous thoughts, fear of offending God, or spiritual failure.
“What if I accidentally cursed God?” or “What if I committed the unforgivable sin?”
Often leads to compulsive confession, reassurance-seeking, or ritualistic prayer.
An intrusive thought isn’t a warning that you want to do something you don’t want to. It’s disordered anxiety attacking your values. OCD “misfires,” tagging random or disturbing thoughts as threats and demanding certainty where none exists. But the thought doesn’t reflect your desires or beliefs.
You can learn to label it for what it is, refocus your attention, and reclaim your peace.
Taboo OCD and the 5-R Model
Back to Carissa. Her fear centered around her identity as a Christian wife. Her heart said one thing, but her intrusive thoughts said another. She found herself constantly checking—
Did I feel aroused when I was with my girlfriends?
Did I glance too long?
What if this means something?
The turning point came when she reached out for help, and I taught her the 5-R Model, a biblical and practical method for stepping out of the OCD cycle. Let’s walk through the 5-Rs with her story in mind:
The 5-R Model: A Biblical Approach to OCD
Carissa eventually reached out for help and began using the 5-R Model—a biblical and practical tool for resisting the cycle of OCD: Recognize, Reject, Replace, Rehearse, and Rejoice.
Let’s walk through this model with her story in mind.
1. Recognize the Intrusion for What It Is
The first step is recognizing that the intrusive thought is unwanted, distressing, and common in OCD.
Carissa learned to name the thought: “This is an intrusive doubt. It is not my true desire or identity.”
Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). The enemy often uses lies that attack our identity and bring shame. Recognizing the thought as a lie is the first act of freedom.
2. Reject the Lie and Refrain from the Compulsion
Carissa had to learn to refuse the compulsion. Every time she checked for a reaction, she trained her brain to fear the thought even more. She needed to resist the urge to seek certainty.
Instead of checking, she told herself, “I don’t need to analyze that. My identity is in Christ, not in my feelings or fears.”
James 4:7 says, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Resisting doesn’t mean getting rid of the thought—it means choosing not to obey it.
3. Replace the Thought with Truth—Mind and Body
Once Carissa rejected the lie, she needed to replace it—not just in her thinking, but in her whole-body focus.
It wasn’t enough to sit and try to “think better thoughts.” She had to get out of her head and into her life. After rejecting the lie that she “wanted” the intrusive thought, she practiced shifting her attention to something meaningful and engaging—something that grabbed her focus both mentally and physically.
Here are examples of what worked for her:
Doing a 20-minute Pilates workout
Playing catch with her kids
Grabbing coffee with a friend and chatting about real life
Listening to her favorite podcast
Watering her garden while humming worship songs
These activities served as a bridge from rumination to restoration. Carissa still rehearsed truth from Scripture (we’ll get to that next), but she also acted on the truth by choosing to live her life rather than analyze her mind.
Paul says in Philippians 4:8, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure… think about such things.” Thinking about good things often involves doing good things (Ephesians 2:10).
4. Rehearse Truth Daily and Stay Rooted
Freedom doesn’t come overnight. Carissa rehearsed God’s truth daily, just as soldiers train for battle even when no enemy is in sight. She stopped avoiding women or trying to control her environment and practiced living with the uncertainty, trusting God to help her.
She memorized verses and repeated truth out loud when anxiety hit:
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you” (Isaiah 26:3).
“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8).
She also kept a truth journal where she recorded each victory, no matter how small. The key was repetition.
5. Rejoice in God’s Grace and Progress
As Carissa walked through this journey, she realized something beautiful: God is with her in her struggle.
She stopped defining success as “never having the thought again,” and instead began celebrating faithful responses. Every time she refrained from her compulsion and chose trust instead of certainty, it was a win.
Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” Even in the middle of uncertainty, we can rejoice in a Savior who understands our weakness and never lets go.
You’re Not Alone—and You’re Not Your Thoughts
Taboo OCD thoughts thrive in secrecy. If you’ve been silently suffering with shame over intrusive thoughts—whether about sexuality, violence, faith, or something else—you are not alone.
God sees you. He’s not afraid of your thoughts. And He offers you a way out of the cycle of fear and compulsion.
Carissa’s story is one of many. She still has intrusive thoughts from time to time, but now she recognizes them as lies, not truth. She no longer feels ruled by her fears, and her marriage is stronger than ever.
Final Encouragement
You may feel like you’re the only one with thoughts like this. That’s a lie from the enemy meant to isolate you. Many Christians struggle with taboo OCD themes, and healing begins when we bring our fears into the light.
If you’re battling a similar cycle, try walking through the 5-Rs like Carissa:
Recognize the intrusion.
Reject the lie and refrain from the compulsion.
Replace it with truth—mind and body.
Rehearse truth daily.
Rejoice in God’s grace.
If you or a loved one is struggling with taboo OCD, consider scheduling a counseling session with a member of our team. We’re here to listen, help, and give you practical hope. We know this isn’t easy. There’s nothing wrong with you. You aren’t crazy. There is hope.
“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).