by Lucy | Jul 16, 2015 | biblical counseling, emotions, identity in Christ |
Discover your true identity, and you can battle lies and live from the truth.
You know you have an enemy who lies, don’t you?
He is Satan, the father of lies. He and his demons tempt you to think rotten ideas about your worth. Have you heard thoughts like, “You aren’t good enough! You aren’t pretty enough! You aren’t strong enough!?”
The awesome news: You can replace the lies with the beautiful truth of your true identity. How does that sound? Knowing who you are matters!
Down, Down, Down
When you start to recognize lies, accept that noticing some of them may take time because they’ve become a habit. You’ve probably been repeating them to yourself for a long time. So no quick-fix expectation. Got it?
If you beat yourself up, you’re more likely to fall into temptations of all sorts. A lot of it looks good like the forbidden fruit on a certain tree in the Garden of Eden. When you’re feeling down and out, Satan and the world dangle treasures before your eyes, pretty things like new clothes, invites to parties, good health, a happy family, a big house or chic condo and stuff to fill them.
In hopes of feeling less afraid and more secure, you and I may feed our gods, hungry gods that help us feel special or important – like money and pleasure, others’ opinions of us, busyness, fame and privilege and honor.
But this is not who you are. Did you know this? You don’t have to get stuck in believing lies. Isn’t this refreshing? Did you know God will change your faulty thinking? That He’ll transform your thoughts?
Changing Faulty Thinking
God says you are beautiful and strong in Christ even when. . .
You lose your debit card.
A colleague steals your idea and gets the credit and a bonus.
Your daughter shoplifts a bottle of nail polish and is arrested.
Cancer strikes a good friend.
A bully harasses your son.
Your husband comes home late, again.
Here’s the truth. Every Christian is in Christ. This is a God-sized concept and reality that not one of us can fathom. Too tremendous for your mind.
According to the Bible, you die in Adam and are born again in Christ.
For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.” 1 Corinthians 15:22
You aren’t what you do. That’s performance. Your true identity is who you are in Christ.
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You change your faulty thinking when you embrace your true identity and stop banking on performance.
Adam (who lived in the Garden of Eden and ate forbidden fruit) died as a sinner. Jesus died for sinners. In Adam we’re cursed. In Christ we’re blessed. In Adam there’s condemnation. In Christ there’s salvation.
What God Says About You!
An excellent place in the Bible to discover your true identity is Ephesians 1:3-7. I’ve colored your identity words in blue.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.
In Christ you are blessed, chosen, holy, blameless, loves, predestined, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven. Which of these descriptors speak to your heart? Your radical new identity comes from putting off your old humanity and putting on the new you in Christ.
Make no mistake. This beautifully new and radical identity that you possess has nothing to do with anything you’ve done. It results from who Jesus is and what he has done. As one pastor wrote,
If you’re a Christian, here’s the good news: who you really are has nothing to do with you–how much you can accomplish, who you can become, your behavior, your strengths your weaknesses, your sordid past, for family background, your education, your looks and so on. Your identity is firmly anchored in Christ’s accomplishment, not yours; His strength, not yours; His performance, not yours; His victory, not yours.
What you and I do flows from who we are.
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Isn’t this amazing and comforting? It’s not about you. It’s all about God. Yes!
You live from your identity, not for your identity.
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As you embrace your true identity in Christ, you’ll rightly handle the issues of live that come your way. Pretty cool, huh?
Resource for YOU!
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Sharing hope with your heart,
by Lucy | Jul 14, 2015 | biblical counseling, thoughts |
Bad thoughts are negative and untrue thoughts that we speak to our souls. They are nasty, they are loud, and they self-condemn. These words that we say to ourselves may be silent to others, but between our own pierced ears, they slice and dice.
These bad thoughts may sound like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“Ugly. . .that’s me.”
“I’m so stupid.”
“Nobody cares about me.”
“I’m a horrible mom.”
“Loser.”
We women condemn ourselves many times a day, don’t we? You. Me. Everyone. Where did verbal bashing begin? How can we stop these bad thoughts?
Genesis of Verbal Bashing
Verbal-bashing began in the Garden. At first, everything was perfect, as you know. Adam and Eve romped in their God-ordained nudist colony for two without a worry. Then Satan in the form of a serpent slithered on the scene in Genesis 3 and spoke a lie to Eve. She didn’t blink. I would have screamed. Maybe. I don’t know.
His lie: “You shall not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it [a tree that God had said was off-limits] your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
She believed her enemy. She died. Not immediately, but eventually. Shame filled her. She and Adam sewed fig leaves to cover up. When I lie to myself, I am believing my enemy. You too. We all do it.
Two decades ago, an oft-told lie of mine: “You’re defective, Lucy.”
Thankfully, I finally listened to God while in a pit of despair and agreed with him that I am precious. I am precious because he says so. He created me “fearfully and wonderfully.” His words! FYI: “Fearfully” means “with great respect” in this context.
What lie do you tell yourself about yourself?
2 Steps to Stop Bad Thoughts
Here’s a way to stop bad thoughts. Two (not so) simple steps! Easy to say, much more difficult to put into practice, right?
1. Ask God to help you recognize the lies that you say to yourself.
2. Replace the lies with God’s truth.
In my example of “You’re defective, Lucy,” I replaced this lie with the biblical truth, “God says you are precious.” Every time I was tempted to speak the “you’re defective” lie to my soul, I then spoke the truth. Over time I self-condemned less often. At least this lie. I’m a work in progress, like you.
How can you begin to replace self-condemning bad thoughts with God’s truth?
by Lucy | Jul 7, 2015 | biblical counseling |
God is good. . .or is he?
Sometimes, you and I are tempted to believe lies about God’s character. We doubt. We pout. Even anger, fear, and depression can stalk us. When this happens, we women of God must fight temptation to think God is anyone other than who he says he is. You discover who he says he is in the Bible, where he reveals his character clearly and beautifully.
His name is a window into his true character and dispels the lies. “Those who know your name put their trust in you,” the psalmist David wrote (Psalm 9:10).
Have you ever doubted God’s goodness? That perhaps he forgot you — and could care less? Or that he sent calamity your way — and got some kind of sick kick from your pain?
Do you know God calls himself “Jealous?” In Hebrew, El qana means he wants you all to himself in a very good way. He doesn’t want to running after desires motivated by faulty thinking. He know that what’s best for you and me — and glorifying to him — is our absolute, exclusive loyalty. He hates spiritual adultery.
Yet I admit to my doubt, this question of God’s goodness, that dogged me for years.
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And I’m thankful he straightened me out.
Doubt Hit Hard
After becoming a believer at age 23. I thought I knew how to successfully apply the truth to my life. I read the Bible nearly every day. I hungered to know more and more and more of him. To pray. To hear his voice, so gentle.
And
then
my world flipped upside down.
In my early 30s, I unearthed a bad memory of abuse I had pushed down since childhood. It surfaced and I was undone.
God didn’t seem so good to me that year or the year after or the year after that. Did he change? Of course, not. God is changeless.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” Hebrews 13:8, ESV
Did I change? You bet. First, I became a self-asborbed shrew stuck in my “poor me” and my “not-enoughedness.” Lies, lies. My poor husband. He got the brunt of my simmering anger that bubbled over.
My problem: I forgot the gospel.
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Oh so slowly, as I turned to Jesus and listened for God’s voice, I heard him and remembered. I recalled the truth that, yes, the gospel is the once-for-all proclamation that “there is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). And it speaks truth to believers every day. I forgot that my identity as a beloved child of the most high God is a sure thing. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God!
God’s Word Is Trustworthy
My barometer for knowing God’s truth? The Bible. It was tough, beyond tough, to hold up the lies to the truth. Have you ever compared the lies you believe to the truth of scripture? When I bring my counselees through a specific journaling assignment, they usually get excited. Stephanie could find who she is in Christ and who God says he is in nearly every scripture? Even the shortest verse in the Bible — “He wept.” — reveals much truth. I bet you could journal three pages on these two words. Stephanie could.
When I finally realized Satan had deceived me, I fought for my life. Have you fought for yours? Have you become overwhelmed and don’t know where to start?”
When I felt overwhelmed, I dug into John 10:10: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I come to give you life, life to the full.” This is Jesus speaking of Satan’s bent on death and the Lord’s abundant life promise. During those dark years, as I battled a spiritual enemy in God’s strength, Jesus revived me.
God Is Love
Know that God is love and he wants the very best for you. First Peter 2:9 reads, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
Beautiful words, true words, fighting words, comforting words.
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You are chosen. God chose you before the creation of the world, and now as the hard infiltrates your life like mosquitoes at dusk, he has selected you to rest and to fight in his strenth, not yours. His victory, not your. Christ did it all.
An Assignment
1. Which lie have you battled? Think about it. Ask God. Jot it down
2. What truth in the Bible shows the lie for what it is? Flip through the pages. Look in the concordance at the back. Google it.
3. Now decide to remember the truth each time you are tempted to believe the lie.
Tell me how it goes or if you need help or encouragement.
by Lucy | Jun 30, 2015 | biblical counseling, relationships |
My ministry to counsel hearts to hope was born out of my own pain.
Among them, loneliness and isolation. I’d go to church desiring friendship with godly women, but it seemed everyone was talking to everyone else and they knew the secret handshake or the secret password or whatever and I didn’t. I was the wallflower, just another pretty daisy lost in the lobby.
Can you relate? Have you known loneliness? Felt out of place? Even in church?
Know this, my sweet sister: You are not alone in your emotional and spiritual struggles. You are not alone in the pain that tags along with your physical problems.
I encourage you to soak in God’s truth that you are valued, significant and loved. Our God is tender toward you, my sweet sister. He knows your name and has written it on the palm of his hand. He calls you. . .beautiful.
From Depression to Hearing God
Back in the early 1990s, I didn’t understand these biblical truths, even as a follower of Christ. Depression had darkened my mood. Anxiety had rattled my mind too. On top of this tough stuff, difficult memories jabbed me. Yes, there was my parents’ divorce but something even worse.
How could I tell anyone my pain? Especially women in the church who seemed to have it all together? Have you found a trusted Christian friend? Or are you still looking?
Fast forward to 2000, the year of God’s specific call on my life.
A summer day. Sunny, a soft breeze. Me alone, in prayer.
God whispered to my heart: “Lucy, comfort my sheep who are hurting with the comfort you’ve received from me.”
“Who me?” I asked
“Trust me, Lucy.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Trust me.”
Like the fuzz of a dandelion, my arguments floated away and I said, “Okay, Lord.”
Since then I’ve ministered to hurting Christian women and to the people who love them. Fearful women. Lonely women. Abused women. Women caught in addiction: shopping, alcohol, pornography. Women who’ve committed adultery. Women with hard pasts. Women like me. Like you.
To Becoming a Biblical Counselor
Then the Lord led me to training in Pastoral Care to Women (Western Seminary, Oregon) and certification in biblical counseling from two certifying ministries and a third (in process) from Association of Certified Biblical Counselors.
On staff as a biblical counselor at Biblical Counseling Center in greater Chicago, I reach even more Christian women with the loving truth that God cherishes you and wants to heal you. Counseling is in person and by Skype. Doesn’t the convenience of Skype appeal to you? Did you know Skype-to-Skype calls are free?
I invite you to check out my counseling page and set up a time to chat over the phone before deciding whether biblical counseling would bring you help, healing, and hope. To set up a chat, please contact me. Thanks.
Sharing Hope with Your Heart,
by Lucy | Jan 24, 2015 | biblical counseling, emotions, identity in Christ, relationships
How I need grace!
You too?
The next few weeks, let’s discover your true identity in Christ. As you discover your true identity, you’ll see how God has extended you grace, or unmerited favor, which is a church-y way of saying that Jesus made a way for you to know him and love him, not because of your “good deeds” but because he loves you and took away your sins when you accepted the gift of faith in him. (Some people turn down his gift. Sad. It breaks my heart.)
Let’s peek at the first of many identity truths.
For starters, a believer in Jesus is a saint! Sure, you still sin. Yet God calls you a saint — all because of Jesus. How cool is that.
My Bad
I used to think I had my ducks in a row, quacking in perfect harmony. But life as I planned it wasn’t working. At all.
My emotions stuck. Confused. Panicky. Seething. Sad. I threw the best self-absorbed pity parties b. Really, who could blame them. I pity-partied even after I became a believer in Jesus Christ as my Savior.
Why? Why such inner turmoil as a Christian woman? Are you in turmoil? Want peace? Discover your true identity.
Do you know your true identity in Christ? It’s amazing.
Tweet: Do you know your true identity in Christ? It’s amazing.
Two Reasons I Felt Bad
I had yet to embrace the truth of: 1) who I am and; 2) whose as I am. Only by God’s grace — his gift to me — am I able to know and believe the wonderful truth of my true identity in Christ:
Chosen,
Blessed,
Daughter,
Saint,
His!
Once I embraced the truth of who I am and whose I am, my inner turmoil vanished. Well, almost. More than I care to admit, I fall back in my old ways, play old tapes of self-condemnation, and suffer anew. Thank God for his patience and loving-kindness because when I mess up, he graciously reminds me I am forgiven and I belong to him.
I am HIS!
What about you, sweet sister? Do you know and believe the twin truths of who you are and whose you are? Be encouraged. Our Father will show you. He is Truth and Love and the One in whom you may trust. In him you are safe. In him your life has meaning. You matter.
Tweet: In him you are safe. In him your life has meaning. You matter.
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photo credit: jesse.millan via photopin cc (with words added)
