3 Biblical Answers to Everyday Stress Anxiety

3 Biblical Answers to Everyday Stress Anxiety

Have you ever had a time when everyday stress overwhelmed you? Everyday stress is an emotional or mental strain that can happen to anyone but isn’t life altering like witnessing a mass shooting or receiving a cancer diagnosis. As I share my own everyday stress story, let’s remember the comforting truth that God promises to stick with us.

God’s your safe place. Always.

That said, we also need biblical solutions for handling the anxiety that comes with everyday stress. I’m sharing three of my best stress smashers. With the help of God’s word, we all can regain the peace the soul desperately desires … even when our circumstances do not change.

This everyday stress was a surprise

Mine began as many bad things do — with no warning. A while back, I skipped several days of exercise. Feeling guilty for eating too many cookies and skipping workouts, I decided to exercise for ten minutes in my living room.

First I stretched. Then I did sit-ups. But …

rather than doing my usual crunches — which, in retrospect, I SHOULD HAVE DONE — I tucked my feet under the couch, laid on back, and rolled all the up to sitting and back down. On sit-up numero ocho, something in my back didn’t feel right. Nonetheless, I pressed on and completed two more full sit-ups, far short of my goal. I rubbed my back and called it a day — and didn’t think much of my situps

 until the next morning

when I awoke to an intense clenching in my lower back muscles  and numbness in my legs. I elbowed my snoozing husband.

Steve, something’s wrong. I need your help. Steve, wake up. I need you.

He heard fear in my voice, listened to my story of super-tight back muscles, and got me a pain reliever. He assured me, “You should be better in a few days. Just rest. We’ll take care of the house stuff. Don’t worry.”

Then it got worse

My family cooked, laundered, and swept while I was laid up and my kitty curled next to me. I began to feel a bit better, but then I learned that a close family member needed daily injections. Nothing life threatening, but important and another thing to deal with

while my back continued to spasm and the numbness in my legs lingered.

I remember thinking and praying, “God, the doctor said I should be better in four to eight weeks. I’m not. Walking and standing hurts, and my legs and feet feel bubble-wrapped, and now a family member is hurting. Help us.”

And worse

Things seems to happen in threes, right? Another family member received bad health new. So I prayed again.

And again. More intensely. Desperately. I remembered this quote:

God whispers to us in our pleasures. He speaks to us in our conscience, but He shouts to us in our pain. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. –C.S. Lewis

God had my attention. Soon, fear accompanied the pain. And my thoughts turned inward and became increasingly negative.

Will the doctors have a treatment that works?

Has God forgotten me? Is He punishing me? Does He care?

It turned out that my back got better after physical therapy. I continue to do the exercises to this day. As God providentially worked in my circumstance to bring healing, I learned at least three strategies to smash everyday stress.

3 Strategies for Handling Everyday Stress

We face everyday stresses of all sorts every day: unexpected bills, car problems, an argument with a loved one, traffic. Our reactions to these stresses reveal what’s in our heart (or, our true inner person). For instance, when stressed, we may become angry and lash out, or anxious and worry, or sad and mope. Scripture says,

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it (1 Cor. 10:13).

Here are three ways to handle stress anxiety by learning to trust God.

1. Agree with God

Agree with God that he cares about you, is with you, and is more concerned with conforming you to the image of his Son, Jesus, than making your everyday stress vanish like the wind. We live in a fallen world with all sorts of troubles.

REFLECT: What troubles are you facing now? Will you agree with God that He has a purpose for your problems?

2. Accept Your Situation (and improve it, if you can)

Give thanks to God in all circumstances; for this is the will of Christ Jesus for you.

What this verse is saying is the proper response to everyday stress is thanksgiving because we recognize that He is supremely in control of whatever comes your way for your good and his glory. We accept our situation as God’s good plan, thanking Him for how he is using it to transform us. Yet, if we can improve our circumstance, we often should.

Didn’t David kill Goliath when the giant taunted the Israelites? The men who spied out Jericho found a place to hide at Rahab’s home, right? And Jesus often slipped through the crowds who wanted to detain him. I sought help from a doctor, physical therapists, and medication.

ACTION: An excellent way to give thanks in all circumstances is keeping a list of reason to give thanks to God and adding to it daily.

3. Affirm the Truth

As your mind and your thinking are renewed by the Word of God, you gain a godly perspective of your everyday stress anxiety and are able to discern God’s will. Read Romans 12:2 carefully. Take time to meditate (or think carefully) about each phrase. Commit it to memory. Then consider what passages such as Psalm 23 and Romans 8:28-39 say about God. Ask yourself, What do these verses  reveal about the character of God and His heart toward his children?

THINK: In light of God’s character and His loving-kindness toward us, how might we regain the peace that the soul desperately desires when we face everyday stresses?

Are you in the midst of S-T-R-E-S-S now? Need help?

As a biblical counselor certified by ACBC who has counseled women and families worldwide by Skype, FaceTime, and Zoom, I invite you to look over my articles and to contact me with your questions.

 

 

Grown Children, Foolish Choices

Grown Children, Foolish Choices

Are you the mom of grown children? Have they made foolish choices? Believe me, you are absolutely not alone. Today’s guest writer is Suzanne Holland (listed on Heart2Heart Counselor Directory), has her own story to tell and words of godly wisdom. Her article appeared first here and is used with permission. (Edited for space.–LAM)

heart

A few weeks ago, I wrote about some of the regrets that I experience, now that my children are grown and have left our home. I heard from quite a few of you about that post. And I learned that I am definitely not alone in looking back on those child rearing days with a few tears.

What I also heard from many of you is that those tears continue to run fresh at times, as our grown children make foolish choices. So today, I’d like to talk about how we can deal with our emotions and how we can honor God when grown children choose a wrong path.

Beloved Children, Foolish Choices

First, let me say that we should probably expect that our children will make a few bad choices. After all, their brains are not fully developed until they are 25 years old. Also, know you cannot control your grown children, nor should you try to do so. (But if he or she is living under your roof or receiving material support from you, then you do have some leverage to enforce rules.)

So, when grown children make bad choices, what are we to do? I believe that there are a few things that we can and must do in this circumstance.

1. Pray for Grown Children

The first thing is to pray. God calls us to pray without ceasing, and this is no exception. Ask the Lord to show your child that the choice he is making is foolish. If your child is a believer, ask that the Spirit of God would convict him. But if he is an unbeliever, then ask the Lord to use the circumstance to bring about his salvation.

Pray often, both for your own ability to honor God in the circumstance and for your child’s well-being. But don’t forget that the reason your child was created is to bring glory to God. Above all other requests, ask the Lord to make His glory the deepest desire of your heart in the situation.

2. Counsel Grown Children

Second, when our grown children make bad choices, we must offer them wise counsel. The Bible tells us that iron sharpens iron, and that two are better than one, so why should it be any different with our children? If you are on even halfway good terms with your son or daughter, you should be able to speak to them frankly and honestly about your thoughts on their decision.

If you can’t speak face to face, write them a note or call them on the phone and express your concerns. As you would with any adult friend, be respectful and don’t attack them personally. Just point out the downside of their thinking, and let them know that you are concerned, and that you are keeping them in your prayers.

3. Trust the Lord with Your Grown Children

If your child chooses a path that you believe will surely bring disaster, you must trust the Lord with them, and leave it in His hands.

I know personally that this is much more easily said than done but, my dear sister, you must do it. Though this is your beloved child, and you are deeply disappointed or even heartbroken over his choice, know that the Lord weeps with you. He also loves your child and desires the best for him even more than you do. But, one advantage God has in seeking that “best” is that He actually knows what it is!

Dear mother of a wayward child, your Father knows better than you do what is best for that son or daughter. Though what you see before your eyes may look like disaster or doom, God, from the other side, may see salvation or sanctification.

Encouraging Words for Your Grown Children

The most comforting and encouraging Scripture passage I have found on this topic is Isaiah 55: 6-11. I’d like to walk through it with you, adding a few comments along the way to help you with the application.

Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call upon him while he is near;

This goes along with my first bit of counsel, to pray for your child. Pray this Scripture for him, that he would seek the Lord, even as you are seeking the Lord’s will for your response

let the wicked forsake his way,
and the unrighteous man his thoughts;

If your child has fallen into sin, pray for conviction and repentance, leading to salvation and/or sanctification.

let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him,
and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

Pray that your child would turn to Christ, and that the Lord would have mercy on him, forgive his sin or foolishness, and restore or revive his heart.

Comforting Words for You

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

This is for us, fellow brokenhearted moms. Remember this truth: God’s plan for your child may be different from yours, but it will always be better, by God’s definition, than you could ever have asked or imagined.  Also remember God’s glory, not our children’s happiness, must be the deepest desire of our heart in this or any circumstance. Trusting that God knows what is best for your child is vital to your contentment and satisfaction in Christ.

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

These verses remind us that words of truth spoken to our children are never wasted. You don’t have to thump your Bible and quote verses to them in order to speak truth into their lives. You can convey Scriptural wisdom to them without quoting chapter and verse.

If they are particularly hostile or closed off to the things of Christ, just offer them your wisdom, informed by Scripture, that comes from your sincere heart. If they reject it, you have done all you can and must leave it in the Lord’s hands. This is the absolute best place for it.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

Prayer-Walk: 4 Reasons to Start Today!

prayer-walkPRAYER-WALK: When you prayer-walk scripture, stress lifts and your peace returns. And it’s best to prayer-walk outside.

Here’s why. Here’s how.

Have you trudged through a day when everything went wrong? Maybe your computer crashed, or the pet barfed on the carpet. Perhaps you got really bad news. If you’re up to your eyebrows in quick-sand stress, you need peace now. Right?

Here’s a solution: Prayer-walk scripture. It gets you away from the distractions of technology, as long as you leave you phone at home, of course! Says bible translator Jordan Monson:

For two thousand years, the most private and undistracted place was behind the closed door. Now, the noise has relocated indoors. If our computers and devices are near, it’s the worst place to try to pray. Walking through Times Square is less distracting than sitting alone in a room full of technology.

4 Reasons!

When you prayer-walk a scripture, at least 4 awesome things happen:

  • your stress lessens
  • you connect deeply with God
  • you get exercise
  • you think on heavenly things, squelching anxiety

1. De-stress!

Have you ever had a week or a month or a year when one stress after another slammed you like a hurricane? Walking helps relieve stress, thus improving your mood and mental outlook. It also reduces muscle tension and stress hormones as well as high-pressure emotions like anxiety, anger, and depression.

2. Connect with God

When you prayer-walk a scripture — that is, talk with God about a specific bible verse and think on what it says and its application — you readjust your priorities and put first things first.

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

For instance, while prayer-walking and thinking on Psalm 23:1, you might reflect on the meaning of “I shall not want” and tell God you give up self-rule and submit to him. In my walks while praying this verse, God has impressed on my heart the truth that he is in control. The result? I sense his strength and comfort, and worship him.

3. Move It

Walking unleashes the body’s endorphins, the feel-good neurotransmitters. And the motion loosens tight muscles and reduces mental stress too.

No doubt you’ve heard that the best exercise is the one you’ll actually do. If not walking, what exercise gets you moving? Swimming, biking, dance, or gardening? And how much exercise do you need? Dr. Edward R. Laskowski recommends 150 minutes of moderate aerobice exercise weekly.

4. Think UP

God tells us what to think on: heavenly things.

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

But your mind want to wander, right? When this happens to me, I refocus on the scripture I’m praying. Since I’m prayer-walking a single scripture verse or passage, this is simple to do. I simply go back to where I left off, or begin again.

How to Prayer-Walk

Here’s what my prayer-walk looks like. First, I choose a scripture. Psalm 23 is a favorite. I see the word pictures as I walk.

I say, “The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not want” and picture a sheep happily resting on shoulders of a strong, gentle shepherd. I am the sheep.

And pray something like–

Father, you know my Honda’s transmission is acting up again. You know my needs. I am asking that you give me wisdom to make the right decision. Thank you that I have a car that runs.

Now the next verse. “He makes me lie down in green pastures.” My mind’s eye sees rolling hills of lush grass and a stream. I utter these words: Oh, yes, rest! Thank you, Lord, for the reminder that I need rest and that it’s good. It’s not a luxury. I don’t have to run around like a manic squirrel, trying to do everything that people ask.

What About Wacky Weather?

During crazy-bad weather, prayer-walk scriptures in the comfort of home. Simply walk in place. The more you move your arms, the higher your heart rate. Or choose a treadmill at a gym.

Most important: Get started. 🙂

Counseling hearts to hope,

lucy-signature-blue

 

Mom, Be Authoritative! Best Mom Ever Series ~ part 4

authoritative

The Golden Rule

Mom, be authoritative. Be a benevolent dictator! Here’s why.

Our culture tends toward two parenting extremes: crass authoritarianism on one end and wimp-dom on the other.. God calls you and me to be neither authoritarian nor permissive but authoritative.

Yes, embrace the role as benevolent dictator.

Your job – which God gave you — is to be THE MOM. God gave you and your husband, if you are married, the authority to direct your children, to shape them, to benevolently dictate to them. You do NOT direct them for your own agenda or convenience but on God’s behalf for their own good and for His glory.

Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6, NIV

In this series on becoming the best mom ever, read the part 1 here and part two here and part three here. Here’s the acronym to remember.

1.    Prepare!

2.    Recognize you’re in a war.

3.   Assume your role as a benevolent dictator.

4.   Yield to God.

Does Your Child Have Too Much Power?

We moms often give our children too much power. It’s one thing to say, “Jarrod, do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt.” That’s OK. It’s quite another thing to say to your four-year-old or your 14-year-old, “It’s time to come to dinner, OK?”

OK?

Mom, are you asking your child permission? As in, do I have your permission to serve you dinner at such and such time? Yikes.

I know when moms tack an “OK?” at the end of their statements rarely do not really mean to hand over this power, that the kid gets to decide, but this is the message.

Your Child Needs You to Be Authoritative!

As Kevin Leman says in Have a New Kid by Friday, kids have a game plan to drive you bonkers. Look around and observe what’s going on in malls, stores, restaurants, and even your own home.

What about the toddler who cries until she wears her mother down and gets to go not only once but three times on the carousel?

The teenager who yells, “Bleep you!” at his dad and stalks off?

The 7-year-old who gives his mom the “I dare you to do anything about it here” steely glare as he pushes the broccoli off his plate and watches it fall to the floor to the floor at the restaurant?

The 14-year-old dressed in all black who has “attitude” written all over her and gives every sign of going the wrong direction?

The 3-year-old who spends his day screaming, to make sure his parents appease his every whim?

In their eyes the world owes them—and owes them big time. But when children rule, a home becomes chaotic.

Yet boundaries give them freedom to mature within the parameters of God’s gives in his Word under the guidance of parents. Then children have true freedom to to learn, explore, and have fun. Boundaries also help you refrain from ripping out your hair! Right?

How to Be Authoritative, not Wimpy

The main thing to remember is this: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Maybe write it on paper and stick it out the fridge. Teach it to your children.

Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Matthew 7:12

The bible shows that there are consequences for disobedience and blessings for obedience. God’s rules to help parents to nuture children through structured discipline. But our real focus is the heart, especially motivations, beliefs, and desires. God’s rules also help us to admonish children when they make foolish choices and to give encouragement to make wise choices.

The wise and authoritative mom teaches her child what is expected and how to do it. And she emphasizes why obedience matters to God. Doesn’t it follow that parents rejoice when children understand God’s heart for obedience, and obey?

But this takes work, doesn’t it? Your’re right! Motherhood isn’t for sissies!

Next time we’ll finish up the “Becoming the Best Mom Ever Series” with lots of practical ideas. If you have not yet signed up to receives my blog posts in your email, please type in your email address below. Thanks.

Counseling Heart to Hope (and heal),

 

 

God’s Peace Plan: P.R.A.Y.

planPEACE PLAN: Remember the spunky Miss Clara in the movie War Room? She narrates: “We fight for power. We fight for riches. And we fight for rights. We fight for freedom. There always seems to be something to fight about.” Yet. . .

“Very few of us know how to fight the right way.”

In this post, war-roomI’ll outline a simple, Spirit-inspired peace plan to pray. Miss Clara prayed in her closet she calls her “war room” and taught Elizabeth, played by Priscilla Shirer, to speak fervently with God about her crumbling marriage.

Is your marriage in trouble? Are your emotions out of control? Is your teen making poor choices? Are you ill? In financial duress? Brokenhearted?

God has a peace plan for the war you’re in. Prayer is your battle cry!

God’s Peace Plan

It’s a four-letter word: P.R.A.Y.

Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in EVERYTHING, by PRAYER and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God.” Phil. 4:6

Read this familiar verse again. Then think on it. Now do what it says: P.R.A.Y. This is your peace plan!

P: Praise

Begin with praise. Praising God puts your mind where it need to be: focused on God. He is the One who not only created to universe, but also knows your hurts and deeply cares.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 1 John 4:16, NIV

R: Repent

To repent is to change your mind and line up your thoughts with God’s thoughts. Repentance is a gift from God, and I’ve noticed in counseling, those who repent make lasting, positive, godly changes the quickest.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

A: Ask

The Lord invites you to approach him confidently and share what’s on your heart. This is part of deepening your relationship with him. He promises to give you all that is good.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:2

Y: Yield

As you pray, believing that God can handle your problems, your faith will increase, and you’ll become calm and confident.

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! Hebrews 12:9

Go ahead, PRAY. I will too. Tell me how it goes.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses are comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:7

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,

lucy-signature-blue

Find GOD's Freedom from Anxiety

 Get My FREE Anxiety Helper Pack!

Choice is a wonderful gift from God. You do NOT have to be stuck in self-focused anxiety. You can find God’s freedom.

You have Successfully Subscribed!