The other morning when I sing-songed, “Time to get dressed,” my able-bodied son groaned.
“Mom, can’t you help me?”
“Your pants are right there, John.”
“Help me put them on.”
“You’re 10 years old. Ten-year-old boys dress themselves.” I left the room. Within a few minutes, he bounded down the steps and into the kitchen. Pants on. Shirt on. Socks on. And, I presume, boxers on too.
Had I helped him dress, my unspoken message would have shouted, “You incompetent, kid! You can’t even do something as simple as pull on pants.”
When you comfort a friend — or she comforts you — do you cross a boundary and help her do what she can?
Respect her self-worth and yours: Help her only with what she cannot do.
This is an expression of real love.
You see this concept of boundary-setting all over Scripture. Among them, the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10. An expert of the law asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus answered with this story to illustrate a biblical principle.
While a man (very likely a Jew) traveled from Jerusalem to Jericho, robbers jumped him. They took his clothes and beat him, leaving him half-dead at the side of the road. A priest passed on by, then a Levite. Finally, a Samaritan, considered scum by Jews, saw him and stopped.
Here’s a list of what the Samaritan did:
bandaged his wounds
treated his wounds with the “medicine” of the day
lifted him onto him donkey and brought him to an inn
nursed him for a day
paid for the man’s extended stay at the inn
paid the innkeeper to watch over him
promised to pay extra expenses when he returned
Here is the one thing we know he chose not to do: Halt his own travel plans. He didn’t think, “Poor guy, I better stay with him or else he may never get better, so I must stop everything for him. . .even if that means neglecting my family and my work.”
The Good Samaritan had good boundaries.
Good boundaries keep the good stuff in and let the bad stuff out.
After telling this parable, Jesus asked the expert in the Law, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
The expert in the Law said, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus said, “Go and do likewise.”
This is what real love to is looks like.
Question: What does real love look like to you? Please leave a coment if you have a moment.
You Are Loved,
