How to Smash Strongholds in Your Mind

How to Smash Strongholds in Your Mind

How should we destroy strongholds?

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Think About Your Thoughts

Think About Your Thoughts

Jennifer asked me how to change her thoughts. She had spiraled deep into discouragement and wanted to feel like her old self: upbeat, positive, happy. “This isn’t me,” she shared. “I keep thinking negatively about everything over and over and over. I don’t know how to stop.”

In this article, you learn three new ways to think about your thoughts and learn how to stop life-sapping thinking:

  1. Ask yourself if your thoughts glorify God.
  2. Change the thoughts he wants you to change
  3. Take every thought captive.

1. Ask Yourself an Important Question

What you say to yourself matters. What you think becomes who you are. You want to think well, don’t you? Then you need to ask if your thoughts glorify God.

Words kill, words give life;

they’re either poison or fruit–

you choose. Prov. 18:21

A helpful place to begin is writing down your thoughts in a small, spiral notebook that’s easy to carry with you. When a negative thought pops up, write it down and note what was happening around the time of the thought. Do this for about three days. Don’t concern yourself with changing your thoughts at first. The point is to become aware of them.

You may become aware of thoughts you didn’t even know you were thinking!

Do you say one of these uglies to yourself?

Very often women silently tell themselves things like:

  • I’m such an idiot.
  • No one likes me.
  • I’m ugly.
  • I can’t do anything right.

Did you have any of these thoughts?

Practical help: Review your list of thoughts. Which are the most common ones? When did you tend to have them? Are they glorifying to God? Jennifer had most of her automatic, negative thoughts in the morning before she got out of bed and asked God to show them to her. She wrote out Psalm 139:1-2:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24 

Like Jennifer, you can ask yourself whether your thoughts are glorifying to God.

2. Change Your Thoughts

Which thoughts is God nudging you to change? Not sure? You could measure your thoughts by the instruction of Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Jennifer noted that one of her recurring thoughts was, “I’m never going to get better.” This thought is in opposition to “whatever is true.” As a Christian, Jennifer is promised by God to become more and more like Jesus Christ, who says “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10b). This process is called “progressive sanctification.”

When she told herself this life-killing lie, her discouragement worsened. Has this happened to you too? Sadly, negative thinking begets negative emotions. Conversely, says Brian S. Borgman in Feelings and Faith, “Right thinking about God produces and cultivates godly emotions such as peace, joy confidence, and hope.”

You keep him in perfect peace
    whose mind is stayed on you,
    because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

Practical step: Measure your thoughts against Phil. 4:8 and ask God which one you need to change.

3. Take Every Thought Captive

God wants you to walk in the truth. You Enemy has a game plan to get you to believe lies — lies about yourself, about your circumstances, and about the Gospel.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

To take every thought captive to obey Christ, you need to replace the lies with the truth. Go through the list of thoughts you wrote down. For each one that is not true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, or commendable, find a Bible verse that replaces the lie with the truth. Jot down the Bible verses you’ve found on index cards or sticky notes.

Yes, it is work to find life-giving Bible verses and write them on card or notes but well worth it. Do you think that looking up verses isn’t worth the effort? Do you have other obstacles? What are they? Why not discuss them with a trusted Christian friend?

2 examples to get you get you started.

Life-sapping thought: God doesn’t love me. He doesn’t care.

Life-giving truth:For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

Life-sapping thought: Life must go well for me. If it doesn’t, this proves I’m a worthless loser.

Life-giving truth:Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13.

Practical help: Each time your have a negative, life-sapping thought, read the index card or sticky note you made with the life-giving truth. As you repeat this process of taking every thought captive to obey Christ, you will discover that the negative thoughts diminish in frequency and power.

This was Jennifer’s discovery. As she read John 10:10 each time she thought “I’m never going to get better,” she noticed that she thought it less often and she experienced hope and joy. She’s applying the same process to other life-sapping thoughts she has. Her discouragement if lifting. She’s beginning to feel like her old self.

And it all began with thinking about her thoughts. Do you want to replace your negative thoughts too? May I invite you to contact me? We can set up a time to talk on the phone for a free 15-minute consult. I also have a downloadable ebook you make like — “Transform Your Thoughts Journal.”

Stop Food Cravings and Glorify God

Stop Food Cravings and Glorify God

Food cravings can come on quick, right? You’re driving along singing to KLOVE or whataver, and out of nowhere food cravings strike.You may crave a Snickers or chips or a Ding Dong. Or you may crave strawberries!

And up the road a 7-Eleven beckons.

In this short article, let’s look at…

  1. Biological food cravings versus emotional food cravings
  2. A biblical solution to food cravings

Choose Your Choice 

So what should you do when hit by food cravings?

A. Try your very, very best to ignore them.

B. Proceed to the 7-Eleven and get the goodies..

Well, it depends! Biological food cravings differ from emotional food cravings. It’s wise to fill the biological kind because your body needs what is craves. Just think of how delicious a glass of water is when you are super thirsty. So when you fulfill this type of craving, you’ll think and feel better. But fight the temptation of emotional food cravings. If you cave, you’ll feel worse, and you’ll miss out on God’s best too.

So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Biological or Emotional?

Here’s a simple what to tell whether your food cravings are biological or emotional:

When you have a biological food craving and fulfill it, you feel nourished. And it doesn’t take much food to meet such a need either. One bagel, a wedge or two of low-fat cheese, or a couple of chocolates–that’s it.

But emotional food cravings aren’t about food. Giving in is an attempt to meet a need apart from God. That’s right: An emotional eater looks for comfort in food. Sometimes it follows “I’m a loser” self-talk.

Solution to Food Cravings

The good news is by obeying and trusting God, you can have victory over food cravings.

You make this break when you begin desiring what God desires and, with God’s help, change your heart. His power helps you make good and godly food choices, straighten out your thinking on food, and practice, practice, practice. A great resource for we who mess up — and this is all of us, right? — is Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by biblical counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick.

God wants you to live life based on truth, not emotions. The truth of who he is. The truth of who you are. His truth is sure.

But our emotions go up and down like an elevator. Now emotions are fine; God gave them to us. Just be sure you don’t let them yank your around. Rather, live out truth.

7 Quick Stop-Craving Tips

Here’s truth talk on healthy eating. Yes, you’ve heard it before … except maybe the last one … but it’s the best.

  1. Choose water over coffee and soda pop.
  2. Shrink your portions by using smaller plates.
  3.  Limit your consumption of sugar.
  4.  Skip foods with ingredients you cannot pronounce.
  5.  Sit down during meals.
  6. Eat slowly.
  7.  Remember eating becomes sacred when it becomes worship.

Remember the Bible verse I mentioned? So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Let it guide your choices.

And when you do, then everything — from washing dishes and sweeping floors to writing blog posts to selling  — can be worship. As long as you line up your thoughts with God’s, the simplest things become sacred.

And so it is with food.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

 

Have a Truly Beautiful Christmas!

Have a Truly Beautiful Christmas!

Does a truly beautiful Christmas mean newly fallen snow, gingerbread houses, and piles of sparkly presents under the tree? Of course not. A truly beautiful Christmas is so much more.

God adorns you on the inside, beginning in your thoughts. Yucky, God-dismissing thoughts are disgusting like dirty snow. But beautiful God-glorifying thoughts spill into new attitudes and new actions.

What’s truly beautiful: a Christ-focused Christian woman!

But how do we get from ugly, dirty snow thinking to the truly beautiful? This is a favorite question, one I use to counsel my own heart and to help my counselees. Indeed, if we don’t know our hope, then how can we get there?

In today’s enouragement…

truly beautiful Christmas

You’ll see how to focus your thoughts on God’s glory, which in turn changes your attitude and actions. And, dear sister, if now you have crummy thoughts and a humbug attitude, please keep reading because these words are for you.  

1. Focus on God in Your Thoughts

A truly beautiful Christmas begins with thinking on the truth that we love God because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). We couldn’t save ourselves. We need a Savior, born in a manger long, long ago, God’s answer to our deepest problem. That is, sin.

And this is important: we choose to focus on God’s glory with our minds, not our feelings. Please don’t let emotions rule you. For when you do, you may soar like an eagle one moment but drop like a stone the next.

Instead, focus on his glory no matter your feelings. As you do, nasty thoughts lessen in intensity and duration and new, God-glorifying thoughts take their place.

OUT GOES 

Jealousy, bitterness, sadness, anxiety, doubt

IN COMES

Generosity, kindness, contentment, peace, confidence

2. Focus on God in Your Attitude

A truly beautiful Christmas becomes an amazing attitude. You see, as think on the God’s truth and agree with it, your attitude renews. To illustrate, let’s look at 1 Thessalonians 5:18 with my counselees. This verse says,

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

As you might expect, most of my counselees deal with tough stuff. Who wants to give thanks for the hard? No one, right? But this isn’t what the verse says. It says to give thanks in all circumstances.

Yes, it’s horrible to learn a husband looks at porn. And it’s awful a teen daughter skips class or that you may lose your job. But you can be thankful that God is in control and is working out all things even when you cannot see it (2 Corinthians 5:7).

Are you beginning to see how your attitude changes as you focus on God? No one is a lost cause, no situation is hopeless. To the contrary! If you need help to improve your thinking, contact me.

Focus on God in Your Actions

A truly beatiful Christmas also means new God-glorifying actions, whether in word or deed. But each of us are weighed down, right? The single mom, the empty nester, the woman in chronic pain, the perfectionist, and on and on and on.

And modern-day, busy-busy Christmas makes demands on our schedules and energy, and sometimes in the middle of it all, our thoughts go south and our attitudes stink. But when we focus on God, our actions and words can display Christ beautifully.

Remember, change does NOT start with behavior modificaiton. Rather, as mentioned, it begins with your thoughts. So if you (or a friend) notice you spoke sharply or complained about snow or lack thereof, or if you’re dissatisfied, choose to think about your thoughts.

Ask yourself–

  • What thoughts just ran though my mind?

Then condider–

  • Do my thoughts honor God? Do they line up with the Word?

If not, then determine to change them.

  • First, identify right thinking.
  • Second, agree with God to renew your thoughts.
  • Third, ask his help to change.
  • And finally, thank him for what he’ll do even before he does it. This is faith!

Indeed, focusing on God in your thoughts, attitudes, and actions ensures a truly beautiful Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Finding Freedom from Sexual Sin

Finding Freedom from Sexual Sin

Has sexual sin taken you hostage, my sister in Christ? I want you to know there really is freedom. It is among the top issues I counsel biblically

Now this reassurance:

Sexual sin is no worse than any other sin. Adultery / porn use /  transgender issues / same-sex attraction — these are not the “unforgivable” sin. Yet sexual sin can destroy relationships and opens wide the door to anxiety and shame, even addictions. And it grieves the Holy Spirit.

In this article, you’ll discover 3 paths to freedom from sexual sin and to renewal.

  1. Share your story safely.
  2. Have an “escape plan.”
  3. Guard your heart.

1. Share Your Story of Sexual Sin

First, choose a safe person such as a trusted, female Christian friend or a pastor’s wife to share your story of sexual sin.

But what if you don’t have a safe person in your life? Then please contact me or another counselor on the Heart2Heart Counselor Directory at my website. We listen deep and don’t condemn..

And when you share your story, and someone really listens, you will begin to sense hope. Even  shame and fear start to dissipate. Soon you’ll think that you really can change, that you aren’t stuck.

2. Have an Escape Plan

Second, as you share with someone you trust, you’ll also need an escape plan. Wonderfully, God has provided the way of escape. Consider 1 Corinthians 10:13, which is full of hope and promise.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

sexual sin artOn your plan, you may want to include these items:

  • names of trusted godly girlfriends to call when tempted.
  • specific Bible verses to think on.
  • Internet protection like Covenant Eyes.
  • a list of places to go when tempted, such as the gym or coffee shop.

Remember, Jesus was tempted by Satan for 40 days in the desert and didn’t sin. (Temptation itself is not wrong.) Check out Matthew 4:1-11 and see how Jesus responded.

3. Guard Your Heart

Third, guard your heart by daily Bible reading and prayer, and learn to replace the world’s lies with God’s truth.

As you guard what you put in your mind, your heart responds. Your heart is the part of you that thinks, feels, and make choices. It is your spiritual inner person.

So freedom from sexual sin requires a heart set on pleasing God, not self. We act on what we think, and this is why biblical counseling focuses on right thinking as defined by God’s standard, the Bible.

Changing Heart Desires

In counseling women in sexual sin of any kind, I’ve discovered a two-fold process in renewing the mind and changing the desires of the heart.

  • Correcting false beliefs about God.
  • Keeping a Transform Your Thoughts Journal. You can get it here.

Be encouraged: Sexual sin wants to take you hostage but Jesus has a radical love for you, and his radical love changes you. There’s hope.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

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