When I asked a few hundred women to share their top mama need, MORE TIME ALONE stood tall among the favorite three. The other two are a support system of family and friends and encouragement.
Do you hear yourself in this women’s plea?
I long for quiet, time to read, to do crafts or write, to just be still. I think the biggest thing for me, based on what I felt I missed growing up, is that I need to balance being there for them and being able to say, ‘Mama needs a break’ and not feel guilty about it. I adore my husband and son, but a bathroom break or a bath or a book for an hour would be bliss!
Today let’s look at the whys and the hows of alone time. Ready? I am. . .’cause this mama needs a break!
Time Alone Then
When my daughter, Laura, was a baby, I craved a Saturday morning escape. My getaway? An outdoor mall with the best bagels this side of heaven. Just me, a book, and bagel bliss. How I loved the quiet, the lack of responsibility, the freedom. And the bagels. Did I mention the bagels?
At home I sometimes went to the bathroom to sit on the toilet when I didn’t need to “go.” I needed time alone.
Once in a while she played with a toy in her crib. Usually she cried. I felt an inch tall. Bad mama, bad mama, I’d tell myself.
Was I bad? Nope. Just worn out!
When Laura reached preschool age, I sometimes slid a “Barney” video into the DVD player. While she sang along, I disappeared into a book and felt like a worm. At least we’re in the same room even if we’re unconnected, I’d rationalize.
Do you feel guilty when you take time for yourself?
Are you even able to get alone? Some moms can’t get alone. Many single moms, moms with husbands deployed overseas, and moms with next-to-no money. Are you in this situation? It’s tough; hold on to hope. You need creativity and prayer.
Time Alone Now
The kids grow and off to school they go. As you know, this does NOT mean more time alone.
Life is busy with school and sports activities, church events, and work. It’s a struggle, this mama life, and all and you may seem that you’re running in place going nowhere. Always running, never catching up.
Did you know that how you spend your days is how you spend your life?
Since each day has 24 hours, not a minute more or less, you need to spend your time wisely. Listen:
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3, NIV)
An Amazing Little Assignment
Since time is a precious commodity, discover how you spend yours. Prioritization is the key. Spend your time on activities that are fun and meaningful and soon you’ll have gained hours.
First know how you spend your time and identify your priorities.
1. For one to three days, keep track of how you spend your time. Use 30-minute increments. Just jot it and be honest.
2. Now write down your priorities. One of your priorities is time alone. Perhaps other priorities include cooking nutritious meals, cuddling your spouse, exercising, and volunteering. Write down three to eight priorities in order of importance.
3. Consider your time schedule in light of your priorities. Does your schedule reflect your priorities? Once you identify a mismatch, you can choose to change how you spend your time and live in light of what’s most important.
What is one area you sense God wants you to change? Less TV or online? More time playing at the park with your kids. Write down one change you’ll make and place it where you’ll see it.
