No one’s life turns out according to plan. Not yours. Not mine. Would you rewrite parts of your anxiety-dotted story? Whatever our past, God can use it all.
Here’s a short introduction of why I embrace biblical counseling wholeheartedly and how it can help you make sense of your story too. Later this week, you’ll learn of my new book I wrote: HELP! I Get Panic Attacks. You can pre-order it here on Amazon.
Wonderfully, the all-knowing Author composed every detail of our lives, putting us right where he wanted us, giving grace to face whatever came our way. So here I am, a grandma and a doctoral student, meeting hurting women all over the world through the technology of video-conferencing. I am shepherding their anxious hearts with compassion and the timeless truth of Scripture.
Shepherding women’s hearts sounds like a happy chapter in a full life, right? It is. But it comes by way of pain, as do many good things: a difficult childhood, panic attacks in my twenties and thirties, and finally a calling to counsel with care.
Childhood, Interrupted
Climbing trees, doing cartwheels, and going to school—these activities filled my days. My older brother and I got along all right, but my mom seemed preoccupied much of the time, chain smoking and watching “Day of Our Lives” and game shows. My dad rarely smiled. This saddened me.
Things got scary on “the night of the twisted chairs.” There was yelling and crying in the living room and when I went to check, my mom and brother shooed me to my bedroom. My dad had gone berserk, tossing and bending chairs.
The next day my parents’ psychiatrist met them at the hospital, and my dad eventually received the diagnosis of manic depression, which is the old term for bipolar 1. I remember thinking, “I’m the daughter of a psychotic.” Melodramatic? Yes! I was 14 and confused and hurting.
I learned I was vulnerable and had little control. But I eventually understood that God knows what he is doing even when I don’t.
God Shows Up
High school and college swooshed by. I switched my major from psychology to journalism, met my future husband, graduated, and married. One day I went to the library for books on decorating but came home with a thin volume called Basic Christianity by John Stott. I read it in a few hours.
Convicted that I was a hopeless sinner, I confessed my need of the Savior and received Jesus by faith alone. This is not what you’d expect of a good Catholic girl, is it? God had better plans. That God would have mercy on me rocked my world. He changed my life from the inside.
A few years later, my world turned upside down again. Out of nowhere, it seemed, panic attacked me and my heart beat triple-time, sweat beaded my forehead, and my knees felt wobbly like Jell-O. Long story short, my faith in Jesus and help from my doctor pointed me in the right direction. Retraining my thoughts by the Word, and lots of practice, provided what I needed to overcome panic attacks. (I share my story and solutions to panic in my mini-book Help! I Get Panic Attacks, now available to order.)
Through this trial, I learned God is with me, especially in terrifying panic, and changing me into the likeness of Christ.
A Call, Answered
Three children later, I was back in school studying pastoral care to women online through Western Seminary in Portland, OR, answering a call to shepherd the hearts of hurting Christian women. My hope: to reach the women at church and in the community, who don’t get involved in women’s Bibles studies, teas, and retreats … because they are hurting.
Later I discovered a book by Jay Adams, the founder of the modern biblical counseling movement, and got biblical counseling training too. Five years ago, I joined Biblical Counseling Center’s staff, continuing to shepherd hurting women and families in person and online.
And forever a student, crazy me is on schedule to receive my doctorate in biblical counseling in May from Birmingham Theological Seminary. I tease my husband that soon he’ll have to call me Doctor Lucy. He thinks that’s funny.
I and many biblical counselors anchor our ministries on 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
This post appeared first here at Biblical Counseling Center, where she’s been a staff counselor for over five years, first in the Chicago area and now in Alabama, providing convenient and competent care online by Skype/FaceTime/Zoom. It has been edited for space. –Ed.
No one’s life turns out according to plan, right? Not yours. Not mine. In fact, I wouldn’t have chosen parts of my story if I were writing it. Would you change parts of your story too?
This article appeared first here. As you read on, you’ll see I have the Best. Job. Ever. as a biblical counselor with Biblical Counseling Center. I get to counsel people all over the world from my home office through the wonderful technology of FaceTime/Skype/Zoom/email. Plus, I show train other biblical counselors to reach the hurting.
Wonderfully, the all-knowing Author composed every detail of my life and yours, putting us right where he wants us, giving grace to face whatever came our way. So here I am, a grandma and a doctoral student, meeting hurting women all over the world through the technology of video-conferencing. I am shepherding their hearts with compassion and the timeless truth of Scripture.
Helping hurting women sounds like a happy chapter in a full life, right? It is. But it comes by way of pain, as do many good things.
Childhood, Interrupted
Climbing trees, doing cartwheels, and going to school—these activities filled my days. My older brother and I got along all right, but my mom seemed preoccupied much of the time, chain smoking and watching “Day of Our Lives” and game shows. My dad rarely smiled. This saddened me.
Things got scary on “the night of the twisted chairs.” There was yelling and crying in the living room and when I went to check, my mom and brother shooed me to my bedroom. My dad had gone berserk, tossing and bending chairs.
The next day my parents’ psychiatrist met them at the hospital, and my dad eventually received the diagnosis of manic depression, which is the old term for bipolar 1. I remember thinking, “I’m the daughter of a psychotic.” Melodramatic? Yes! I was 14 and confused and hurting.
I learned I was vulnerable and had little control. But I eventually understood that God knows what he is doing even when I don’t.
God “Shows Up”
High school and college swooshed by. I switched my major from psychology to journalism, met my future husband, graduated, and married. One day I went to the library for books on decorating but came home with a thin volume called Basic Christianity by John Stott. I read it in a few hours.
Convicted that I was a hopeless sinner, I confessed my need of the Savior and received Jesus by faith alone. This is not what you’d expect of a good Catholic girl, is it? God had better plans. That God would have mercy on me rocked my world. He changed my life from the inside.
A few years later, my world turned upside down again. Out of nowhere, it seemed, panic attacked me and my heart beat triple-time, sweat beaded my forehead, and my knees felt wobbly like Jell-O. Long story short, my faith in Jesus and help from my doctor pointed me in the right direction. Retraining my thoughts by the Word, and lots of practice, provided what I needed to overcome panic attacks. (I share my story and solutions to panic in my mini-book Help! I Get Panic Attacks, scheduled to publish this fall.)
Through this trial, I learned God is with me, especially in terrifying panic, and changing me into the likeness of Christ.
A Call, Answered
Three children later, I was back in school studying pastoral care to women online through Western Seminary in Portland, OR, answering a call to shepherd the hearts of hurting Christian women. My hope: to reach the women at church and in the community, who don’t get involved in women’s Bibles studies, teas, and retreats … because they are hurting.
Later I discovered a book by Jay Adams, the founder of the modern biblical counseling movement, and got biblical counseling training too. Five years ago, I joined Biblical Counseling Center’s staff, continuing to shepherd hurting women and families in person and online.
And forever a student, crazy me is on schedule to receive my doctorate in biblical counseling in May. I tease my husband that soon he’ll have to call me Doctor Lucy. He thinks that’s funny.
I and many biblical counselors anchor our ministries on 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Truly, God is the Author writing our stories according to his best plan. For hurting women, he provides other women who lovingly shepherd them, listening deep and giving counsel that encourages them to wholeness in him. And so, it seems, God planned my story so I could meet hurting women in theirs. He’s not finished with us yet, right? I wonder what’s next.
P.S. Many people contact me for counseling for panic attacks, phobias, OCD, post-traumatic stress, and other life stresses. If you or someone you love might want counseling, simply contact me via this easy form. Reduced fees available. 🙂
Her article appeared first here at The Biblical Counseling Coalition and is used with permission.
While growing up in South Carolina, I loved thunderstorms. I watched the howling wind blow leaves from the tree branches and the raindrops beat down on the grass under the dark, gray sky.
If we were at my Granny’s house, she would make us unplug everything electrical. That meant no TV or radio (there was no internet in those days). My siblings and I had no other choice but to play with each other. We found a way to endure the storm until it blew over.
Sometimes storms can cause much damage and wreak havoc in the lives of many. While the news focuses on environmental storms, there are other storms just as devastating that people experience every day, such as sickness, financial hardship, and broken relationships. These storms of life threaten our peace, comfort, and joy, and often bring about fear, doubt, and hopelessness.
Jesus Calms a Storm
In Mark 4:34-41, the disciples found themselves caught in a ferocious storm while on a boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee and simultaneously in a spiritual storm of fear and doubt. They feared for their lives. Jesus was fast asleep in the stern of the boat while the storm was raging. They woke Him and said,
“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (4:38).
Jesus woke up, calmed the storm, and questioned their faith in Him (4:40). They were no longer afraid of the storm, but very afraid of the supernatural power of Jesus that led them to wonder who He was, that even the wind and sea obey Him (4:41).
The disciples learned significant lessons that day that transformed their lives. We can learn much from their experience as we face the storms of our own lives.
God Ordains the Storms of Life
The idea that God permits bad things to happen to His children is a very hard pill for some of us to swallow. “It doesn’t make sense for a loving God to allow His followers to suffer,” some would say. This is a simple conundrum to solve.
Jesus tells us in John 16:33,
“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
When storms hit, we often wonder, “Why is this happening?” In James 1, we see that God has a purpose for every trial that we experience. God uses trials to test the genuineness of our faith.
The disciples’ faith in Jesus was being tested in the storm. They questioned the very character of Jesus, implying that He did not care for them. We may feel the same way when we face a health crisis or a financial hardship that may cause us to lose our home. But 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all of our cares and concerns on Jesus, because He cares for us.
God Is in Control of the Storms of Life
The disciples were filled with great fear when Jesus rebuked the wind and told the sea, “Peace! Be still!” (Mark 4:39). Jesus displayed amazing supernatural power over nature. We learn, along with the disciples, that Jesus can be trusted in the storm.This is because He is sovereign.
God’s sovereignty is described in Psalm 24:1-2:
“The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.”
God is in perfect control of the universe. He is involved in everything in this world and is directing all things, people, nature, etc. to fulfill His divine purposes. When facing the storms of life, understanding the sovereignty of our amazing God is essential.
The disciples showed us both what to do and what not to do. They were right to go to Jesus in the storm. However, they fell short because they went to Him in fear and doubt. Jesus wanted them to have faith in Him in the midst of the terrible storm. In Philippians 4:5-6, we learn how to replace our fear and anxiety with prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving.
We are released from the grip of fear and anxiety when we thank Him for His sovereign power and purpose for the storms. We can trust His promise that His peace will guard our hearts and minds so that we will not be fearful or anxious during the storm (Phil. 4:7).
God Is for You in the Storms of Life
In their fear, the disciples questioned if Jesus cared for them. He asked them, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40). Not only did Jesus rebuke the wind and the waves, but He rebuked the disciples for their unbelief.
Their unbelief caused their fear, and their fear caused them to question whether Jesus really cared. Jesus expected them to know that He was for them and that He did not want to destroy them.
Isaiah 41:10 states,
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.”
Believing that God is for you can transform your life. When trials come, you will not be tempted to doubt God’s love, care, and concern for you. When it seems like there is no sound coming from Heaven, you can still believe that God is for you.
He promises to be with you through any storm that He allows in your life (Isa. 43:2). Allow the storms of life propel you to trust God as your refuge and deliverer.
Questions for Reflection
When the storms of life hit, what is your first reaction?
Can you look back on previous storms in your life and accept that God ordained the storm and was in control of it?
How will the realization that God is for you impact your fear?
Resource for YOU
I have the awesome privilege of counseling women and families by Skype and FaceTime all over the world! If you’d like to know more about this wonderful resource of online counseling, please look over this and be sure to request a complimentary counseling phone consult. Cheers!
When you feel overwhelmed, your emotions can get the best of you, can’t they? And you feel out of control and all alone. The inner noise is deafening!
You need peace and quiet in your soul, don’t you?
When overwhelmed, you may self-sabotage andcutor snarf donuts or call yourself names like “loser” even though God says you blessed and beautiful in Christ. Years ago, I felt like a loser when my first job out of college stressed me to the max, and when I couldn’t get pregnant, and when my mood nose-dived into black after my mom died.
For we live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7, NIV
Through personal experience and my training as a Christian biblical counselor, I discovered at least 3 solutions to peace and quiet when you’re overwhelmed by life.
Solution #1: Tune In
Tune in to your emotions. They may signal something’s wrong.
a ding-dong hacks your Facebook account. . .ANGER,
your husband is home late, again. . .FRUSTRATION,
the basement floods. . .MORE FRUSTRATION,
your close friend moves away. . .SADNESS,
and the neighbor lady gets a shiny, new Lexis while your car pushes 100,000 miles. . .JEALOUSY.
Recognizing your emotions helps you decide your next constructive action and buoys your hope. In the examples above, you may have thought something like:
“Err! Did the ding-dong steal my personal information too? Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
“Is that stupid sump pump busted? Replacing the carpet will cost so much. I am so mad.”
“Now I don’t have any friends.”
“Show off! I hope a tree falls on your pretty car.”
ACTION: Write down one of today’s hard emotions and ask yourself, “What was I thinking at or just before my emotions hijacked my peace”? What you think influences how your feel. Here’s a thought journal that may help.
Solution #2: Remember
Friend, you can’t choose your circumstances but you can remember to whom you belong: Jesus Christ. (If you’re not sure you are a Christian — a person to believes in the person and work of Jesus Christ — please contact me.) Remember:
You are the daughter of God. You have EVERY spiritual blessing now. And you are completely forgiven, now and forever.
Also, you have a home in heaven Jesus is preparing for you now.
ACTION: Read Ephesians 1:3-14 every day. Replace the pronoun us and we with your name.
Solution #3: Go to the One
When your emotions signal that you’re overwhelmed, go to Jesus. Talk with him. Stop trying to figure things out. Turn off the bad tapes that play likes over and over to ad nauseam.
Rather, tell Jesus your burdens. Trust him to work in you so he can shine through you. Your friends, family, neighbors and coworker will notice your bright eyes and smile.
This is what you want, isn’t it? Peace and quiet is the noise of life.
Now What?
I invite you to counsel with me to find hope, peace, and godly contentment. Simply contact me. Reaching out is the first step to healing. By the way, I also meet with counselees ALL OVER THE WORLD by Skype, FaceTime, and WhatsApp. So don’t let proximity get in the way of getting well, okay?.
Sex in a Broken World: How Christ Redeems What Sin Distorts, written by Biblical Counselor Paul David Tripp, honestly looks at sexuality as a fundamental part of what it means to be human and a part of God’s beautiful design when he created all things. And yet, sex today is nothing like the way that God intended it to be. Sexual brokenness surrounds us. But there’s hope!
“Everything is affected by brokenness” (p. 19), Tripp writes.
“If you don’t understand your address, you will live with all kinds of unrealistic expectations, and you will be way too naïve. . . .You’d better understand, and help those entrusted to you to understand. . . that brokenness doesn’t live just outside you but inside you as well. This is important to get, because the brokenness inside will hook you to the temptations outside” (p. 19).
This message rings throughout Tripp’s writings, unfolding a robust gospel and making rich applications. Tripp is masterful at presenting everyday scenarios that resonate with his readers and leave them hungry for the solution. The gospel itself is not new, but how many of us have considered that sexual sin fundamentally denies the grace of God?
“[Sex] sells you the lie that physical pleasure is the pathway to spiritual peace. Sex is the work of the Creator’s hands but tends to promise you what only the Creator can deliver. It is beautiful in itself but has become distorted and dangerous by means of the fall” (p. 30).
Approach
Tripp’s plethora of vignettes hit close to home, including a description of one man’s gradual path through self-deception, leading to the capture of his heart and his fall into adultery. He explains,
“The struggle for sexual purity is not so much a struggle with sex but with the proneness of our hearts to wander, that is, with the tendency of every sinner to look for fulfillment of heart where it cannot be found” (p. 153-154).
Therefore, Tripp takes an approach unlike other books about sex. He offers no descriptions of body parts and functions, and no techniques. Rather, he targets the motivations and deceptions that drive the mind and heart into bondage. Believing that education and behavioral change are effective only when the heart and mind are informed by the gospel, he focuses there.
Hope
Even as it sets out the bleakness of our sexual insanity, Sex in a Broken World offers hope on every page. Tripp unveils the pervasiveness of human error, insipid desire, dichotomous thinking, and wandering hearts. But he invites his audience to recognize God at the center of the mess, holding forth grace as mankind’s Creator, Owner, and Redeemer. Readers will find themselves drawn into the storylines but captivated by the gospel that presents God as the unrivaled hero and the only One worthy of worship.
The Gospel Counteracts Sexual Insanity
Biblical counselors will not be surprised to hear that Tripp’s discussion directly targets the desires of the heart, trumpeting the dominant theme, ‘sex is not about you’ and a clear call to personal responsibility: “You need to face that fact that your body will wander where your heart has already gone” (p. 63). While his arguments may sound familiar, his application to sexual sin is striking and poignant. Counselees whose hearts have been captured by sexual sin will find themselves helped by the candor and laser-like perceptions that demonstrate the gospel’s relevance and necessity. The reader will no longer believe that self-reformation is possible. But that message is drenched in hope because God’s presence and Christ’s effectual sacrifice are central to the discussion.
The final two chapters of Sex in a Broken World are worth the price of the book. Tripp presents a ‘think list’ of gospel truths to declaw the lies that drive sexual sin. For example, Tripp presents the following negative statements:
“You don’t have to be ashamed that you’re a sexual being” (p. 152). “You don’t have to deny that you’re a sinner” (p. 154). “You don’t have to fight your battle alone” (p. 159). Then he concludes with some positive statements, including: “I have all the resources I need” (p. 173). “There is someone who understands me” (p. 175). “Change is possible for me” (p. 176). “Weakness is not my big problem, but my delusion of strength is” (p. 177).
Conclusion
Sex in a Broken World examines the problem of sex insanity through the gospel’s big magnifying glass, opening the eyes of the deceived by illuminating the beauty of the truth about sexuality, its connection with the Creator, and His larger purposes. Both biblical counselor and counselee will find rich material to define biblical sex and to offer grace while exposing the dark trap of sexual sin and how its deception captures a heart. Because the problem clearly unfolds as between the sinner and God, the reader is forced to face his own culpability without pointing at the faults of others: a major strength of this volume.
Tripp’s books trumpet a recognizable theme: The gospel is absolutely essential and relevant in our insane world.Click & Tweet! Every human heart is relentlessly prone to wander, but the message of redemption enlightens the mind and heart with truth that sets us free. I know of no other book that so profoundly and effectively presents the cross of Jesus Christ as the answer to sexual insanity.
“[T]he cross assures me that I already have in my personal spiritual storehouse everything I could ever need. Could it be possible to preach this to yourself too much?” (p. 174) “…we are not left to our own foolishness. There is One who is wisdom, who gifts us with wisdom we would never, ever have without him. We need to tell this to ourselves again and again” (p. 179).
I agree.
BCC Staff Note:Sex in a Broken World: How Christ Redeems What Sin Distorts can be purchased at Amazon or Biblical Counseling Books.
I have the awesome privilege of counseling women and families by Skype and FaceTime all over the world! If you’d like to know more about this wonderful resource of online counseling, please look over 
