Contentment: Even for Christian women, contentment may seem an impossible day-by-day reality. It’s so easy to slip into discontent, right?
My own quest for contentment prompted my purchase of Megan Hill’s Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness right when P&R released it. Her 31 days of devotional readings and life application has helped me keep my focus on Jesus as our ultimate hope.
Get a taste of her book below in an excerpt from her book, which appeared first here on The Biblical Counseling Coalition website. It is used with permission. (Edited for length.–LAM) HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
An Excerpt from Contentment
Discontent can strike at any time. On a Monday morning, the alarm goes off, and discontent is ready to pounce. Anything can invite an attack—a careless slosh from your coffee mug, a terse text from your spouse, a towering mountain of laundry on the basement floor—and you are frustrated with your life before you even walk out the door.
By the time the doctor’s office calls with your test results or the mail delivery brings a new round of bills, you are wishing for a new life entirely. Even something as simple as an unexpected rain shower can unleash thunderclouds in your heart. Just a few hours ago, you were joyfully worshipping God in the assembly of the saints at church and now you are thoroughly disappointed about how this same God is ordering events.
And it doesn’t stop there. Throughout our days, discontent waits for all of us. Whether we are young or old, alone or in a group, relaxing or working, we face circumstances that frustrate our expectations for what life should be like.
Worry
Once it takes hold of our hearts, discontent quickly leads to other sins. Because we fundamentally distrust what God is doing in and for us, our hearts give way to worry.
Every new circumstance feels surprising and potentially harmful. Everything from the flu to the presidential election brings an onslaught of uncertainty. We do not believe that God is caring for us, and we have little confidence that these events will be for our good, so our minds and hearts spin with anxiety.
Envy
Dissatisfied with our own situation, we look around at the lives of others and add the sin of envy. We covet the lives of our friends and neighbors—people who seem to have everything we want and more.
We also covet the lives of strangers—the happy couple with the gorgeous HGTV home or the alumnus whose fast-track career was lauded in the latest university publication. (And) we lust after their accomplishments or relationships or finances, increasing the discontent with our own.
Complaining
Frustrated and disappointed, we also fall into the snare of complaining. Seemingly every situation releases a sigh from our hearts.
The weather is too cold. The gray hairs too plentiful. The kids are too energetic. The pay is paltry, the hours over-long, the commute a total waste.
Like the Israelites in the wilderness, we give voice to our discontent with grumbling—accusing God of mishandling our lives and demanding that he give us what we want.
Discontent—and its evil companions—are everywhere.
Contentment Is Really Possible!
But if discontent waits just around the next corner, grace does too. At every moment, in every one of life’s circumstances, the Lord is ready with forgiveness (Neh. 9:7), encouragement (Rom. 15:5), strength (Phil. 4:13), and love (Rom. 8:38-39). The God who made you and sustains you is able to make grace abound to you for all things at all times (2 Cor. 9:8). In the fight against discontent, you are never alone.
I wrote Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness because the temptation to discontent is common to all of us (1 Cor. 10:13). By the help of the Holy Spirit, we all—including me—need to rest content in God’s sovereignty over the circumstances of our lives. And it’s only when we look away from ourselves and our own circumstances that we can lay our eyes—and our hearts—on what truly satisfies: God and his good purposes.
This book was born in the midst of my own temptations to grumbling and anxiety. I wrote and edited while experiencing parenting challenges, relational disappointments, a leaking roof, an unexpected job change, and the daily repetition of dishes and laundry and dirty floors.
The Secret of Contentment
Not a day goes by that I don’t have to remind myself of the truth I wrote:
“The secret of contentment is not in having ‘enough’ money (or status or relationships or education). Rather, the secret of contentment is placing our ultimate hope in something secure:
The Lord will never leave us or forsake us; he is our help, so there is no reason to fear.”
Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness can be purchased from Amazon.
Megan Hill is a PCA pastor’s wife living in Massachusetts and an editor for The Gospel Coalition. She is the author of Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness (P&R, 2018) and Praying Together (Crossway, 2016). This article is adapted from Contentment.
Sex in a Broken World: How Christ Redeems What Sin Distorts, written by Biblical Counselor Paul David Tripp, honestly looks at sexuality as a fundamental part of what it means to be human and a part of God’s beautiful design when he created all things. And yet, sex today is nothing like the way that God intended it to be. Sexual brokenness surrounds us. But there’s hope!
“Everything is affected by brokenness” (p. 19), Tripp writes.
“If you don’t understand your address, you will live with all kinds of unrealistic expectations, and you will be way too naïve. . . .You’d better understand, and help those entrusted to you to understand. . . that brokenness doesn’t live just outside you but inside you as well. This is important to get, because the brokenness inside will hook you to the temptations outside” (p. 19).
This message rings throughout Tripp’s writings, unfolding a robust gospel and making rich applications. Tripp is masterful at presenting everyday scenarios that resonate with his readers and leave them hungry for the solution. The gospel itself is not new, but how many of us have considered that sexual sin fundamentally denies the grace of God?
“[Sex] sells you the lie that physical pleasure is the pathway to spiritual peace. Sex is the work of the Creator’s hands but tends to promise you what only the Creator can deliver. It is beautiful in itself but has become distorted and dangerous by means of the fall” (p. 30).
Approach
Tripp’s plethora of vignettes hit close to home, including a description of one man’s gradual path through self-deception, leading to the capture of his heart and his fall into adultery. He explains,
“The struggle for sexual purity is not so much a struggle with sex but with the proneness of our hearts to wander, that is, with the tendency of every sinner to look for fulfillment of heart where it cannot be found” (p. 153-154).
Therefore, Tripp takes an approach unlike other books about sex. He offers no descriptions of body parts and functions, and no techniques. Rather, he targets the motivations and deceptions that drive the mind and heart into bondage. Believing that education and behavioral change are effective only when the heart and mind are informed by the gospel, he focuses there.
Hope
Even as it sets out the bleakness of our sexual insanity, Sex in a Broken World offers hope on every page. Tripp unveils the pervasiveness of human error, insipid desire, dichotomous thinking, and wandering hearts. But he invites his audience to recognize God at the center of the mess, holding forth grace as mankind’s Creator, Owner, and Redeemer. Readers will find themselves drawn into the storylines but captivated by the gospel that presents God as the unrivaled hero and the only One worthy of worship.
The Gospel Counteracts Sexual Insanity
Biblical counselors will not be surprised to hear that Tripp’s discussion directly targets the desires of the heart, trumpeting the dominant theme, ‘sex is not about you’ and a clear call to personal responsibility: “You need to face that fact that your body will wander where your heart has already gone” (p. 63). While his arguments may sound familiar, his application to sexual sin is striking and poignant. Counselees whose hearts have been captured by sexual sin will find themselves helped by the candor and laser-like perceptions that demonstrate the gospel’s relevance and necessity. The reader will no longer believe that self-reformation is possible. But that message is drenched in hope because God’s presence and Christ’s effectual sacrifice are central to the discussion.
The final two chapters of Sex in a Broken World are worth the price of the book. Tripp presents a ‘think list’ of gospel truths to declaw the lies that drive sexual sin. For example, Tripp presents the following negative statements:
“You don’t have to be ashamed that you’re a sexual being” (p. 152). “You don’t have to deny that you’re a sinner” (p. 154). “You don’t have to fight your battle alone” (p. 159). Then he concludes with some positive statements, including: “I have all the resources I need” (p. 173). “There is someone who understands me” (p. 175). “Change is possible for me” (p. 176). “Weakness is not my big problem, but my delusion of strength is” (p. 177).
Conclusion
Sex in a Broken World examines the problem of sex insanity through the gospel’s big magnifying glass, opening the eyes of the deceived by illuminating the beauty of the truth about sexuality, its connection with the Creator, and His larger purposes. Both biblical counselor and counselee will find rich material to define biblical sex and to offer grace while exposing the dark trap of sexual sin and how its deception captures a heart. Because the problem clearly unfolds as between the sinner and God, the reader is forced to face his own culpability without pointing at the faults of others: a major strength of this volume.
Tripp’s books trumpet a recognizable theme: The gospel is absolutely essential and relevant in our insane world.Click & Tweet! Every human heart is relentlessly prone to wander, but the message of redemption enlightens the mind and heart with truth that sets us free. I know of no other book that so profoundly and effectively presents the cross of Jesus Christ as the answer to sexual insanity.
“[T]he cross assures me that I already have in my personal spiritual storehouse everything I could ever need. Could it be possible to preach this to yourself too much?” (p. 174) “…we are not left to our own foolishness. There is One who is wisdom, who gifts us with wisdom we would never, ever have without him. We need to tell this to ourselves again and again” (p. 179).
I agree.
BCC Staff Note:Sex in a Broken World: How Christ Redeems What Sin Distorts can be purchased at Amazon or Biblical Counseling Books.
Text messaging: This form of communication may interfere with meaningful communication in your marriage. How can you tell if text messaging is a problem for you? And what can a married couple do about it? This article by Joshua Waulk, whose wife Christy is listed on Heart2Heart Counseling Directory, appeared first here on his website and is used with permission. (Edited for length–LAM.)
Communication, or a lack thereof, is a common complaint in marriage counseling. By the time a couple comes to counseling, they say they talked endlessly into the wee hours of the morning during dating. But then they cut the wedding cake. And truly meaningful communication petered out.
In one sense, this isn’t a surprising result. Marriage is not dating.,Getting married, and living full-time under the same roof with another sinner-in-need-of-grace. has its natural effects upon a relationship. We do well to not be naive about these things. (Pre-married couples, are you listening?Click & Tweet!).
Text messaging is a problem I’m encountering more often among married couples who have communication difficulties. Sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it?
When Harry Started Texting Sally
The modern technological convenience of text messaging has become, for some, a stumbling block to meaningful, face-to-face communication. Indeed, text messaging has replaced the nightly review of the day’s events around the dinner table.
In addition, the problem of text messaging is not primarily for the convenience of typing “Honey, grab a gallon of milk on the way home.” Rather, for some couples, text messaging is an endless stream of electronic ticker tape. And updates arrive every thirty seconds.
The net result is a communication-depleted couple who have nothing left to talk about at the end of the day. What is best reserved for face-to-face talk time was already transmitted in real time via text messaging, complete with emoticons or a GIF.
Putting the Phone Down
Of course there Is a place for texting. For instance, I love knowing that my wife has arrived safely at her destination. And I enjoy seeing a silly picture of the kids covered in flour while Mommy was in the shower.
First, take time to evaluate your text messaging habits. Second, talk in person about any needed adjustments. Third, determine to follow through on your plan to reduce text messaging.
Couples report real benefit to exercising restraint in text messaging. At the end of the day, when they’re home together, they are free to share life’s events with emotional intimacy.
*Note: This post may not apply to those couples who, for a myriad of reasons, actually need electronic communication in order to maintain contact, i.e. traveling spouse, military families, etc.
Join the Conversation
How has text messaging blessed your marriage?
How has text messaging been a hinderance to effective communication?
What strategies to improve face to face talk time have been helpful?
Addiction? Is your kid at risk? In Mark Shaw’s booklet How Not to Raise an Addict, you learn the 5 mentalities that makes a kid susceptible to addiction. Reviewed by Ellen Castillo, whose profile is listed here on Heart2Heart Counseling Directory. Ellen’s review appeared first here at the Biblical Counseling Coalition.
Mark presents a challenge to parents as they disciple their children. By walking them through the five mentalities, he gives us a roadmap for determining if our parenting encourages unbiblical thinking that could lead to addictive behavior down the line.
He begins with an important discussion of the need for mind-renewal (Rom. 12:2; Eph. 4:23). Mark states,
We are all in need of transformed thinking so that we can discern the acceptable and perfect will of God. In other words, transformed thinking enables us to know what pleases God and benefits us when we actually put these things into practice (p. 2).
The Five Mentalities
The bulk of the booklet gives us a brief but fairly in-depth view of these five mentalities:
Entitlement mentality (thinking everything is deserved)
Consumer mentality (acquiring what he perceives is deserved)
Victim mentality (when he thinks his entitlement and consumer needs are not being met, he feels he is a victim of unfairness so he blames others)
Perishing mentality (a victim feels self-pity and “learned helplessness” that leads to rebellion)
Rebellious mentality (“why should I try” attitude, leading to foolishness and a desire to be his own boss)
These mentalities all build upon each other, according to Mark’s understanding of addictive thinking (p.1).
Mark offers us the biblical antidotes for the mentalities he presents. He unpacks these for us, which is helpful and insightful. He teaches us that cultural parenting is counterproductive if we want to raise biblical thinkers.
As you read this booklet, you may recognize yourself in some of these mentalities (as I did). The booklet gives us tools to examine our own hearts as parents and counselors. This way we can recognize unbiblical thinking in our children and in our counselees and their parents. He also lays out a path for how to instill biblical concepts in order to counter the culture our children experience.
Mark walks us through much Scripture, which is what I appreciated most about this booklet. He shows us that the Bible is truly sufficient to inform our thinking as well as our parenting. He not only offers instruction for us, but he also offers encouragement and reminders of God’s grace.
Also he tells the reader that “Scripture teaches that God is sovereign, but man is also responsible” (p. 35). This encourages parents to be faithful in their child’s discipleship, but to understand that the outcomes are not up to them, as the child grows to make their own choices. The principles he encourages us to teach our children are biblical and that is what parents are called to be faithful to.
A Guide for Biblical Thinking
Mark gives us a brief overview of his biblical view of addiction. Addictions do not give us an escape from personal responsibility, and calling addiction a “disease” does not change this (p.35). His teaching has impacted me personally (as well as my counseling ministry) as I have been challenged to view addiction biblically. If you have not taken an in-depth look at a biblical view of addiction, I encourage you to read Mark’s books on addiction. He has become my go-to resource when I encounter addictive behavior in my counselees of all ages.
This booklet is a helpful guide for counselors who are working with parents as they disciple their children to think and live biblically. Parents would benefit from utilizing the booklet as a guide towards changing their approach in their parenting. The purpose of the book states that it is to help avoid raising someone with addictive thinking, but I believe that the mentalities described in it could help avoid other kinds of unbiblical choices and behaviors as well. This is an excellent discipleship tool, and it leads me to want to dig in to Mark’s other parenting book as well.
Join the Reformation celebration! While the kids dress up and trick ‘o’ treat, remember that today marks the 500th anniversary of the event that sparked the Protestant Reformation.
On Oct. 31, 1517, Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the wooden doors of a Roman Catholic church in Wittenberg, Germany. In his theses, Luther, a Catholic monk, attacked the church’s corruption and indulgences-for-sale system. Shares pastor Kevin DeYoung at The Gospel Coalition:
Through Counseling Under the Cross, you can learn how Luther richly, relevantly, robustly, and relationally applied the gospel to suffering, sin, sanctification, and our search for peace with God. And throughout, Kellemen shares lively vignettes, real-life stories, and direct quotes from Luther. They also help equip you to apply the gospel to yourself and others—finding hope and help in Christ alone.
Here, then, are the resources as well as a link to the book.
14 Free Resources
You can download all of the following resources here. Also, if you want to send this link to a friend, here’s a shortened version: http://bit.ly/LutherResources
Peace is a hot commodity today. We all want it in our anger-infused, Twitter-bombed world. But how?
Biblical counselor and psychologist Ed Welch offers hope for change for people who struggle with irritation and want peace. Really, who likes anger? And as Welch sound-bites: To be angry is to destroy.
Yes, anger pours out testy words. Eye rolls and sighs reveal the simmer. Slammed doors shake homes and relationships. Anger may whisper or shout, but is almost always destructive. And Jesus had much to say about anger and its antitode: God-honoring peace.
Welch fills the pages with scripture passages and with instruction to overcome anger. His target: the heart. His method: letting you see the yuck of anger and inviting you to want treasure in heaven most of all. It’s a self-versus-God attitude and choice, isn’t it?.
Hello, Peace!
On the path to peace, you’ll meet afresh the Prince of Peace: Jesus. You’ll also discover your need to forgive. And pray. And bless an enemy. Welch suggests you read the meditations a day at a time. This way your mind and heart absorb all that is anger and hate it. You also learn to love peace and seek the Peace-Giver.
So if you’re sick of anger and want peace, read this little-big book–all 50 days.
Meet the Author
Edward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He earned a Ph.D. in counseling (neuropsychology) from the University of Utah and has a Master of Divinity degree from Biblical Theological Seminary. Ed has been counseling for over thirty years and has written extensively on the topics of depression, fear, and addictions.
Megan Hill is a PCA pastor’s wife living in Massachusetts and an editor for The Gospel Coalition. She is the author of 
Text messaging: This form of communication may interfere
Addiction? Is your kid at risk?
Mark gives us a brief overview of his biblical view of addiction. Addictions do not give us an escape from personal responsibility, and calling addiction a “disease” does not change this (p.35). His teaching has impacted me personally (as well as my counseling ministry) as I have been challenged to view addiction biblically. If you have not taken an in-depth look at a biblical view of addiction, I encourage you to read Mark’s books on addiction. He has become my go-to resource when I encounter addictive behavior in my counselees of all ages.
Join the Reformation celebration!
applied the gospel to suffering, sin, sanctification, and our 
Peace is a hot commodity today. We all want it in our anger-infused, Twitter-bombed world. But how?
Edward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He earned a Ph.D. in counseling (neuropsychology) from the University of Utah and has a Master of Divinity degree from Biblical Theological Seminary. Ed has been counseling for over thirty years and has written extensively on the topics of depression, fear, and addictions.
