by Lucy | Feb 7, 2011 | biblical counseling
God heals the broken-hearted and sets captives free. He can heal you. Even if you were abused. Even you suffer post-traumatic stress disorder.
Post-traumatic stress disorder. Listen to my podcast on abuse and PTSD. Clicke here to listen.
Soldiers returning from Iraq and Afganistan are prime candidates for PTSD. So are high school and college students who lived through campus shootings. Even people who witnessed the terrorist attacks of 9/11 or who survived the Katrina may struggle with PTSD.
It can occur after you’ve experienced a traumatic event where you feared for your safety, even your life.
Sometimes the fallout turns uglier than ugly: the develpment of multiple personalities. I’m not talking Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a split personality popularized by novelist Robert Louis Stevenson. But close.
Lindy Abbott, a Christian blogger, wife, and mother, suffered abuse as a young child so severe that her mind could not process it so it protected itself so she could survive.
As Lindy writes at her blog Abuse and Trauma Hope, “It is at this precise moment [of abuse] that the child unconsciously begins to protect the soul from utter destruction by separating the harmful/abusive experiences into hidden places in the soul. The mind does this without needing the child to actively think about what she needs to do to survive, it as an unconscious act of self-preservation.”
Whether you’ve suffered abuse at the hands of a loved one or experienced a traumatic event, like a house fire or tornado, a mugging or a rape, this show is for you. You’ll find out that your body’s response to severe stress affected your body and even rewired your brain.
The good news is God can heal you. Some of you may have heard, “You just need more faith,” “Are you certain you are saved?” “You must have unconfessed sin.”
These hurtful comments heap pain upon pain.
Jesus IS the answer. And he came to bind up the broken-hearted and free the captives.
Sharing Hope with Your Heart,
by Lucy | Sep 1, 2010 | biblical counseling
Families splinter. Finances sink. Fear creeps.
Where’s the joy?
As Jon and Kate divorce and Tiger Woods makes news — YUCK! — as foreclosures increase and jobs remain scarce, as fear creeps into your life, your faith may falter.
Are you there now? It’s OK. Honest.
God understands. He gets it. When Jesus sandaled through Judea he felt every emotion: grief, sadness, anguish and peace, joy and contentment.
You are in good company. Think Moses, David, Sarah, Esther, Gideon. Each experienced a crisis of faith.
Then they laughed again.
Yes. After the night the day breaks. After winter, spring blossoms. After a big New Year’s meal, a nap.
May I encourage you to laugh again in 2010? Our Lord knows your needs. He knows how your heart is breaking. He promises to provide — in his way, in his timing.
What do you want God to heal in your life? A family situation? Your finances? Health? Something else?
Question: Now that it’s August. Have you experienced healing? If so, what?
You Are Loved!
by Lucy | Jul 22, 2010 | biblical counseling
Bob Kellemen is a like-minded friend. We’re both biblical counselors, though he has many more letters after his name than I do, and we follow a call to help folks find hope and healing. His latest book is God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. It is sponsored by GriefShare, a Christ-centered ministry with support groups worldwide.
Easy to read, practical and uplifting, this slim volume promises hope. It debunks the psychological model of Swiss-born psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who popularized a five-stage model of grieving based upon her research into how terminally ill persons respond to the news of their terminal illness. Her five stages have since been used worldwide to describe all grief responses: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
In his book, Bob says these “proposed stages in the grief process seek to track typical grief responses. However, they do not attempt to assess if this is what is best to occur. Nor could they assess, simply through scientific research, whether these responses correspond to God’s process for hurting (grieving) and hoping (growing). We must understand something about research in a fallen world. At best, it describes what typically occurs. It cannot, with assurance and authority, prescribe what should occur.”
He shares the Bible’s answer to moving through the grief process.
“Readers are gravely disappointed when the answers to their questions about suffering reflect more of the wisdom of the world than of the truth of God’s Word,” he says. “Christians long for an approach that faces suffering honestly and engages sufferers passionately—all in the context of presenting truth biblically and relevantly. We need to be able to face life’s losses in the context of God’s healing.
“Jesus did.”
God’s Healing for Life’s Losses includes questions for discussions and for journaling. It’s valuable wisdom and encouragement for women or men who suffer any life loss, including divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one.
To read a sample chapter or to purchase, click here.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
You Are Valuable!
by Lucy | Mar 21, 2010 | biblical counseling |
My blogger friend Lynn Mosher asked me to write a guest post for her blog about my God-given passion for helping Christian women discover hope and healing. So here it is, for you. I love to hear your feedback.
Q: Lucy, do you have a Scripture that speaks your heart and defines God’s purpose for your life?
A: I do. It’s this: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV).
The word comfort is used four times. This is no accident. Our God is a God of comfort and compassion. This means a lot to me because I’ve known trouble. Here’s an idea:
Depression. Check.
Panic attacks. Check.
Sexual abuse. Check.
Mentally ill parent. Check.
Dysfunctional home. Check.
Infertility. Check.
Addiction. Check. (For me, people-pleasing.)
A history of family alcoholism. Check.
Lived in a broken home? Check. (My parents divorced, remarried each other and divorced again.)
Recurring negative thoughts. Check. Check. Check.
The best thing is that God comforted me in all my troubles, just as He promises in the verse. Now that I’ve received comfort, I give comfort. He spoke His purpose into my life and called me to counsel hurting Christian women. When I meet women at churches where I speak or visit, I see pain and broken hearts.
Q: Lucy, what type of counseling do you provide?
A: I counsel according to the truths of the Bible. It’s sometimes called biblical counseling or pastoral counseling or soul care. As a counselor friend says, biblical counseling is not “here’s two verses and call me in the morning.” It’s comprehensive.
Q: What do you mean by comprehensive?
A: I really get to know the women I counsel – their struggles, their hopes, where they’ve been and where they hope to go. I listen and give clear direction. Homework, too. I also use a Personal Data Inventory. This helps me know many things, including a need for a doctor’s visit.
Q: What’s your stance on medication?
A: I’m open to the use of medication prescribed by a medical doctor.
Q: Do you meet with your counselees in person or over the phone?
A: Both. Some I meet face-to-face, but I counsel most of my clients over the phone. It’s amazing. With the explosion of technology, women who do not have a biblical counselor in their area can still receive hope and healing through Jesus. I’ve met many of my counselees through Twitter and by word of mouth from other folks on Twitter and Facebook.
Q: What are the advantages to phone counseling?
A: It’s cheaper. This is a big deal in today’s tight economy. Counseling by phone also is convenient. The counselee doesn’t have to drive to an office. It also offers greater anonymity. Some women who’d feel awkward or fearful to make a face-to-face appointment are very willing to share over the phone. Several of my clients have told me this.
Q: What are the disadvantages to phone counseling?
A: The main one is I cannot read my clients’ nonverbal communication. This has yet to be a major problem to helping hurting Christian women find hope and healing. I offer to meet by webcam.
Q: Why can you offer hope and healing despite this disadvantage?
A: I truly believe it’s the power of the Holy Spirit. Before, during and after every phone meeting, I pray for the woman and for me. I pray that the Holy Spirit shows each of us what He desires. This is what He does, every time. It’s amazing.
Q: What training do you have?
A: I graduated from Western Seminary, Portand, Ore., with a diploma in pastoral care for women. In addition, I have taken courses from the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors. I am not a state-licensed counselor, however.
Q: Why haven’t you sought licensure?
A: Two reasons. First, I looked into programs at the university in a neighboring town; I’d have to learn atheistic Freudian concepts and counsel by them in my training. I won’t compromise my religious beliefs. Second, the United States holds the position of “separation of church and state.” My state requires that a person performing a religious function come under a religious adjudicatory body that can attest to that person’s qualifications. In this case my church fulfills this role.
Q: If a woman is interested in finding out more, what should she do?
A: Check out my website and go to the e-counseling page. My website is www.LucyAnnMoll.com. Or email me: Lucy@LucyAnnMoll.com.
Q: Do you have any other words for hurting Christian women?
A: Get help. Jesus wants to heal you. You may feel alone or full of guilt and shame – maybe you’re scared what people would think if they knew the real you. God knows the real you, and He loves you just as you are.
In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus said the most amazing and wonderful thing. Reading the words of the prophet Isaiah, he said, “The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because he has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18-19 NIV)
Then, he rolled up the scroll, sat down, and stated: “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” (Luke 4:20 NIV) Wow.
Are you poor, imprisoned, disabled, or oppressed by life’s troubles?
Hope has come: Jesus.
Question: Has God comforted you in your troubles?
You Are Loved!
by Lucy | Mar 2, 2010 | biblical counseling |
The provocative memoir Scandalon, Running from Shame & Finding God’s Scandalous Love by Susan Elaine Jenkins angered me.
— that the author’s parents, a pastor and his wife, failed to teach her boundaries. She had to be the “yes” pastor’s kid.
— that her husband refused to love her the way she needed him, turning to pornography instead.
— that her pastor/boss manipulated her and used her for his sexual pleasures.
Scandalous!
I felt comforted too. . .that she discovered deep truths about herself in God in a mystical land: China. In her book she brings China, its ordinary people and its customs alive.
Now I want to go to China.
After I summer in Tahiti.
Here is an interview excerpt with the author. If you’ve ever experienced pain in a church, you need to read Scandalon.
Q: Tell us a bit about yourself.
Susan: I am a teacher. I was born into a family of preachers and teachers, and I always had a keen desire to teach. After teaching in California private schools for 19 years, I moved to China, where I have focused on teaching performing arts in three different international schools. I am a seasoned foreign expatriate these days and yet, the daily adventures of living in Asia continue to surprise me.
Q: It seems that some parts of your book were passages right out of your journals through the years. Is that right?
Yes, they were taken directly from my journals — especially the conversations between Dr. John Travis [her pastor/boss, not his real name] and me. Those three difficult months were mind-numbing days. Writing everything that happened at the end of every confusing day helped me make more sense of it all.
Once I was in China, the conversations with Ouyang [her friend who became like a brother] were important to me, as well, and I also kept detailed accounts. I knew I needed to have those talks recorded somewhere where I could retrieve them — they were too special to forget.
Q: Was there any deciding factor that made you think you should try compiling your notes into a book and to try to get it published?
A friend from the UK convinced me to begin a blog. The idea of sharing my stories was inconceivable, at first, but as time went by, I got to know my readers. Little by little, I opened up the pages of my journals with them, interspersed with a few of the details of daily life in Asia. To my surprise, my online friends began commenting and sending me private letters filled with their own pain. I wanted to let them know that there really is healing and light ahead, that God’s promise really is authentic: He is a God who heals.
Q: Are there any character embellishments? Some people in your book seem almost larger than life.
No, the characters are written exactly as they are. Conversations are word for word, in most cases. I wanted to present the strong and good qualities of my former husband, Kyle, for example, as well as the perplexing reality of our marriage. The words of Dr. Travis were etched deeply into my memory, of course, as those were life-changing words of an experienced sexual predator — impossible to forget, much as I tried.
And then the amazing friends I met in China were such distinctive people! I remember thinking: How can I tell the world about Mrs. Hua and her cozy dinner parties with fish swimming laps in the bathtub? How can I explain how marvelous Apple is, with her heart that simply listens to God as she finds her way around the French Riviera? I wanted to share the story of Angel’s frustration at being 30 years old and single in the Chinese culture. These are incredibly real and strong people who desire the same things we do in America. They taught me so much.
Q: Why a book about China?
Well, this particular story began to be written in the summer of 1992. My friend, David, gave me the keys to his beach house in Pebble Beach, and it began pouring out, as I walked along the ocean and typed in his massive kitchen. At the end of the summer, I returned the rented computer, put all the pages into a plain cardboard box and shoved it into a closet. It wasn’t until five years later, in 1997, that I realized the story was not going to rest quietly, just gathering dust. It was almost as if it had a life of its own, and refused to be forgotten, so I took the box to China with me and kept writing for the next ten years. It seemed to evolve into a book that is really a combination of two lives: my life in California and my life in Asia; two very different worlds.
I think it seemed very natural at some point, to write of a remarkably poignant journey that met in a healing point while living in a crumbled country, broken by its own history. My life at that point seemed very much the same – broken, falling apart, and dark.
Q: You moved to China to get away from memories that were haunting you?
A great job offer came up, and yes, I was anxious to have a completely new start. Before I left for China, someone told me, “Susan, you can never get away from this. Sooner or later, you will need to face all that’s happened in your life. You will need to go through the grieving process and admit that you have lost so much.” He was right. I did have to face it, but that happened slowly, almost imperceptibly, over a long period of time. Being in China helped me gain perspective of what God wanted to do in me and through me.
I guess it was near the end of my first school year that I realized China had become a second home. I was walking along the hot, muggy streets with Ouyang, and I realized I was reluctant to go back to America. He said, “Do you have to go back? Why don’t you just stay?” That possibility hadn’t occurred to me until that point.
I think the idea of feeling at home in China has to do with the fact that I began feeling “at home” with God. And that, for me, involved a great spiritual healing and coming back to a point of rest within God’s heart; being glad to be in His loving presence; knowing that all my sins are utterly forgiven and cast away; and, sensing His divine heart of grace. Home has literally — for me — become His own heart.
