by Lucy | Feb 11, 2019 | biblical counseling, thoughts |
The new “Transform Your Thoughts e-Journal” is a simple, effective, and biblical way of journaling your thoughts. As you change your thoughts, you’ll also change your heart and even experience a tranquil life. Get the downloadable here.
In this article, I’ll introduce you to part of the thought journal I developed for my counselees.
Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Romans 12:2a, NLT
Wonderfully, the Transform Your Thoughts e-Journal shows you how to replace life-sapping thoughts with uplifting, God-honoring thoughts. And as the Holy Spirit transforms your thoughts, four things happen. You’ll–:
- Become aware of life-sapping, ungodly thoughts.
- See a connection among your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
- Exchange uplifting, God-honoring thoughts for ungodly thoughts.
- Have better emotions and actions.
Your Thoughts Reveal Your Heart
Know these two truths:
- Your thoughts flow from your heart, which is the seat of your deepest desires.
- A healthy heart is Christ-centered; an unhealthy heart is me-centered.
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7, NKJV
Indeed, your thoughts become part of your beliefs. And your beliefs remain until new thoughts challenge them. Then new beliefs elbow out the old ones. Thought transformation is NOT behavior modification; it is renewal of your core BELIEF system.
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How to Use the Journal
First, describe a difficult circumstance. Then ask, what was going on? Here is an example.
“My husband and I have argued a lot ever since our teen began using marijuana.”
Next, write your thoughts, emotions, and resulting actions. You may think your emotions come first. Actually, thoughts do. Then emotions and actions follow thoughts.
Your journal might look like this:
| LIFE-SAPPING THOUGHTS |
EMOTIONS |
ACTIONS |
| “I’m a horrible mother.” |
Anger, fear, sadness |
Yelled at teen. Took away her phone. Cried. |
Now select a real circumstance from your own life and try it yourself. You’ll benefit the most when you actually do the work of thought journaling. Reading about it isn’t enough. Rather, you need to do it.
Turn Your Thoughts Around
Let’s start with the “I’m a horrible mother” thought. First, begin with a question: Ask if your thought is true. Is it a fact that you are a horrible mother?
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Chances are, you are a loving, stressed-out mom who feels scared, angry, and overwhelmed, searching for solutions to help your teen.
Now replace the life-sapping lie “I’m a horrible mother” with an uplifting biblical truth such as, “Even though my daughter’s choice to do drugs upsets me, God promises that he is with me, guides me, and comforts me. He is trustworthy.”
Begin your new thought with something like, “Even though _________________,
God promises __________________________________________.
New emotions and actions replace your old emotions and actions.
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Here’s what it looks like:
| NEW THOUGHTS |
NEW EMOTIONS |
NEW ACTIONS |
| Even though my teen has made poor choices, God promises to give us wisdom when we ask for it and to be with my family and me. |
Peace, hope |
With your spouse, pray and ask God for wisdom.
Thank God.
Smile |
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|
|
Transforming your thoughts is absolutely necessary to live the Christian life!
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If you’d like one-to-one help with transforming your thoughts and experiencing a tranquil life, consider setting up a complimentary phone consultation with me to talk about receiving biblical counseling by Skype or FaceTime or Zoom.
Counseling hearts to hope,
by Lucy | Jan 22, 2019 | biblical counseling, emotions, whole health wellness |
Food cravings can come on quick, right? You’re driving along singing to KLOVE or whataver, and out of nowhere food cravings strike.You may crave a Snickers or chips or a Ding Dong. Or you may crave strawberries!
And up the road a 7-Eleven beckons.
In this short article, let’s look at…
- Biological food cravings versus emotional food cravings
- A biblical solution to food cravings
Choose Your Choice
So what should you do when hit by food cravings?
A. Try your very, very best to ignore them.
B. Proceed to the 7-Eleven and get the goodies..
Well, it depends! Biological food cravings differ from emotional food cravings.
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It’s wise to fill the biological kind because your body needs what is craves. Just think of how delicious a glass of water is when you are super thirsty. So when you fulfill this type of craving, you’ll think and feel better. But fight the temptation of emotional food cravings. If you cave, you’ll feel worse, and you’ll miss out on God’s best too.
So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
Biological or Emotional?
Here’s a simple what to tell whether your food cravings are biological or emotional
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:
When you have a biological food craving and fulfill it, you feel nourished. And it doesn’t take much food to meet such a need either. One bagel, a wedge or two of low-fat cheese, or a couple of chocolates–that’s it.
But emotional food cravings aren’t about food. Giving in is an attempt to meet a need apart from God. That’s right: An emotional eater looks for comfort in food. Sometimes it follows “I’m a loser” self-talk.
Solution to Food Cravings
The good news is by obeying and trusting God, you can have victory over food cravings.
You make this break when you begin desiring what God desires and, with God’s help, change your heart. His power helps you make good and godly food choices, straighten out your thinking on food, and practice, practice, practice. A great resource for we who mess up — and this is all of us, right? — is Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by biblical counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick.
God wants you to live life based on truth, not emotions. The truth of who he is. The truth of who you are. His truth is sure.
But our emotions go up and down like an elevator. Now emotions are fine; God gave them to us. Just be sure you don’t let them yank your around. Rather, live out truth.
7 Quick Stop-Craving Tips
Here’s truth talk on healthy eating. Yes, you’ve heard it before … except maybe the last one … but it’s the best.
- Choose water over coffee and soda pop.
- Shrink your portions by using smaller plates.
- Limit your consumption of sugar.
- Skip foods with ingredients you cannot pronounce.
- Sit down during meals.
- Eat slowly.
- Remember eating becomes sacred when it becomes worship.
Remember the Bible verse I mentioned? So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Let it guide your choices.
And when you do, then everything — from washing dishes and sweeping floors to writing blog posts to selling — can be worship. As long as you line up your thoughts with God’s, the simplest things become sacred.
And so it is with food.
Counseling Hearts to Hope,
by Lucy | Dec 24, 2018 | biblical counseling, thoughts
Does a truly beautiful Christmas mean newly fallen snow, gingerbread houses, and piles of sparkly presents under the tree? Of course not. A truly beautiful Christmas is so much more.
God adorns you on the inside, beginning in your thoughts. Yucky, God-dismissing thoughts are disgusting like dirty snow. But beautiful God-glorifying thoughts spill into new attitudes and new actions.
What’s truly beautiful: a Christ-focused Christian woman!
But how do we get from ugly, dirty snow thinking to the truly beautiful? This is a favorite question, one I use to counsel my own heart and to help my counselees. Indeed, if we don’t know our hope, then how can we get there?
In today’s enouragement…
You’ll see how to focus your thoughts on God’s glory, which in turn changes your attitude and actions. And, dear sister, if now you have crummy thoughts and a humbug attitude, please keep reading because these words are for you.
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1. Focus on God in Your Thoughts
A truly beautiful Christmas begins with thinking on the truth that we love God because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). We couldn’t save ourselves. We need a Savior, born in a manger long, long ago, God’s answer to our deepest problem. That is, sin.
And this is important: we choose to focus on God’s glory with our minds, not our feelings. Please don’t let emotions rule you. For when you do, you may soar like an eagle one moment but drop like a stone the next.
Instead, focus on his glory no matter your feelings. As you do, nasty thoughts lessen in intensity and duration and new, God-glorifying thoughts take their place.
OUT GOES
Jealousy, bitterness, sadness, anxiety, doubt
IN COMES
Generosity, kindness, contentment, peace, confidence
2. Focus on God in Your Attitude
A truly beautiful Christmas becomes an amazing attitude. You see, as think on the God’s truth and agree with it, your attitude renews. To illustrate, let’s look at 1 Thessalonians 5:18 with my counselees. This verse says,
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
As you might expect, most of my counselees deal with tough stuff. Who wants to give thanks for the hard? No one, right? But this isn’t what the verse says. It says to give thanks in all circumstances.
Yes, it’s horrible to learn a husband looks at porn. And it’s awful a teen daughter skips class or that you may lose your job. But you can be thankful that God is in control and is working out all things even when you cannot see it (2 Corinthians 5:7).
Are you beginning to see how your attitude changes as you focus on God? No one is a lost cause, no situation is hopeless. To the contrary! If you need help to improve your thinking, contact me.
Focus on God in Your Actions
A truly beatiful Christmas also means new God-glorifying actions, whether in word or deed. But each of us are weighed down, right? The single mom, the empty nester, the woman in chronic pain, the perfectionist, and on and on and on.
And modern-day, busy-busy Christmas makes demands on our schedules and energy, and sometimes in the middle of it all, our thoughts go south and our attitudes stink. But when we focus on God, our actions and words can display Christ beautifully.
Remember, change does NOT start with behavior modificaiton. Rather, as mentioned, it begins with your thoughts. So if you (or a friend) notice you spoke sharply or complained about snow or lack thereof, or if you’re dissatisfied, choose to think about your thoughts.
Ask yourself–
- What thoughts just ran though my mind?
Then condider–
- Do my thoughts honor God? Do they line up with the Word?
If not, then determine to change them.
- First, identify right thinking.
- Second, agree with God to renew your thoughts.
- Third, ask his help to change.
- And finally, thank him for what he’ll do even before he does it. This is faith!
Indeed, focusing on God in your thoughts, attitudes, and actions ensures a truly beautiful Christmas!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
by Lucy | Dec 11, 2018 | biblical counseling, emotions, thoughts
Has sexual sin taken you hostage, my sister in Christ? I want you to know there really is freedom. It is among the top issues I counsel biblically.
Now this reassurance:
Sexual sin is no worse than any other sin. Adultery / porn use / transgender issues / same-sex attraction — these are not the “unforgivable” sin. Yet sexual sin can destroy relationships and opens wide the door to anxiety and shame, even addictions. And it grieves the Holy Spirit.
In this article, you’ll discover 3 paths to freedom from sexual sin and to renewal.
- Share your story safely.
- Have an “escape plan.”
- Guard your heart.
1. Share Your Story of Sexual Sin
First, choose a safe person such as a trusted, female Christian friend or a pastor’s wife to share your story of sexual sin.
But what if you don’t have a safe person in your life? Then please contact me or another counselor on the Heart2Heart Counselor Directory at my website. We listen deep and don’t condemn..
And when you share your story, and someone really listens, you will begin to sense hope. Even shame and fear start to dissipate. Soon you’ll think that you really can change, that you aren’t stuck.
2. Have an Escape Plan
Second, as you share with someone you trust, you’ll also need an escape plan. Wonderfully, God has provided the way of escape. Consider 1 Corinthians 10:13, which is full of hope and promise.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
On your plan, you may want to include these items:
- names of trusted godly girlfriends to call when tempted.
- specific Bible verses to think on.
- Internet protection like Covenant Eyes.
- a list of places to go when tempted, such as the gym or coffee shop.
Remember, Jesus was tempted by Satan for 40 days in the desert and didn’t sin. (Temptation itself is not wrong.) Check out Matthew 4:1-11 and see how Jesus responded.
3. Guard Your Heart
Third, guard your heart by daily Bible reading and prayer, and learn to replace the world’s lies with God’s truth.
As you guard what you put in your mind, your heart responds. Your heart is the part of you that thinks, feels, and make choices. It is your spiritual inner person.
So freedom from sexual sin requires a heart set on pleasing God, not self. We act on what we think, and this is why biblical counseling focuses on right thinking as defined by God’s standard, the Bible.
Changing Heart Desires
In counseling women in sexual sin of any kind, I’ve discovered a two-fold process in renewing the mind and changing the desires of the heart.
Be encouraged: Sexual sin wants to take you hostage but Jesus has a radical love for you, and his radical love changes you. There’s hope.
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Counseling Hearts to Hope,
by Lucy | Dec 4, 2018 | biblical counseling, emotions
The storms of life are unpredictable and scary. But God’s up to good. And you can trust him in them.
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Featured in Heart2Heart Counseling Directory, Shannon Kay McCoy shares 3 lasting lessons on the storms of life. Be sure to check out her personal counselor page here.
Her article appeared first here at The Biblical Counseling Coalition and is used with permission.
While growing up in South Carolina, I loved thunderstorms. I watched the howling wind blow leaves from the tree branches and the raindrops beat down on the grass under the dark, gray sky.
If we were at my Granny’s house, she would make us unplug everything electrical. That meant no TV or radio (there was no internet in those days). My siblings and I had no other choice but to play with each other. We found a way to endure the storm until it blew over.
Sometimes storms can cause much damage and wreak havoc in the lives of many. While the news focuses on environmental storms, there are other storms just as devastating that people experience every day, such as sickness, financial hardship, and broken relationships. These storms of life threaten our peace, comfort, and joy, and often bring about fear, doubt, and hopelessness.
Jesus Calms a Storm
In Mark 4:34-41, the disciples found themselves caught in a ferocious storm while on a boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee and simultaneously in a spiritual storm of fear and doubt. They feared for their lives. Jesus was fast asleep in the stern of the boat while the storm was raging. They woke Him and said,
“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (4:38).
Jesus woke up, calmed the storm, and questioned their faith in Him (4:40). They were no longer afraid of the storm, but very afraid of the supernatural power of Jesus that led them to wonder who He was, that even the wind and sea obey Him (4:41).
The disciples learned significant lessons that day that transformed their lives. We can learn much from their experience as we face the storms of our own lives.
God Ordains the Storms of Life
The idea that God permits bad things to happen to His children is a very hard pill for some of us to swallow. “It doesn’t make sense for a loving God to allow His followers to suffer,” some would say. This is a simple conundrum to solve.
Jesus tells us in John 16:33,
“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Jesus promises us that we will have trials and tribulations in this world, but because He has overcome the world, we can trust Him in the storms.
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When storms hit, we often wonder, “Why is this happening?” In James 1, we see that God has a purpose for every trial that we experience. God uses trials to test the genuineness of our faith.
The disciples’ faith in Jesus was being tested in the storm. They questioned the very character of Jesus, implying that He did not care for them. We may feel the same way when we face a health crisis or a financial hardship that may cause us to lose our home. But 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all of our cares and concerns on Jesus, because He cares for us.
God Is in Control of the Storms of Life
The disciples were filled with great fear when Jesus rebuked the wind and told the sea, “Peace! Be still!” (Mark 4:39). Jesus displayed amazing supernatural power over nature. We learn, along with the disciples, that Jesus can be trusted in the storm. This is because He is sovereign.
God’s sovereignty is described in Psalm 24:1-2:
“The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.”
God is in perfect control of the universe. He is involved in everything in this world and is directing all things, people, nature, etc. to fulfill His divine purposes. When facing the storms of life, understanding the sovereignty of our amazing God is essential.
The disciples showed us both what to do and what not to do. They were right to go to Jesus in the storm. However, they fell short because they went to Him in fear and doubt. Jesus wanted them to have faith in Him in the midst of the terrible storm. In Philippians 4:5-6, we learn how to replace our fear and anxiety with prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving.
We are released from the grip of fear and anxiety when we thank Him for His sovereign power and purpose for the storms. We can trust His promise that His peace will guard our hearts and minds so that we will not be fearful or anxious during the storm (Phil. 4:7).
God Is for You in the Storms of Life
In their fear, the disciples questioned if Jesus cared for them. He asked them, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40). Not only did Jesus rebuke the wind and the waves, but He rebuked the disciples for their unbelief.
Their unbelief caused their fear, and their fear caused them to question whether Jesus really cared. Jesus expected them to know that He was for them and that He did not want to destroy them.
Isaiah 41:10 states,
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.”
Believing that God is for you can transform your life. When trials come, you will not be tempted to doubt God’s love, care, and concern for you. When it seems like there is no sound coming from Heaven, you can still believe that God is for you.
The storms of life are part of God’s sanctification plan, revealing your heart, and growing you into His image. Do not let the difficult storms become bigger than the promises of Jesus.
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He promises to be with you through any storm that He allows in your life (Isa. 43:2). Allow the storms of life propel you to trust God as your refuge and deliverer.
Questions for Reflection
- When the storms of life hit, what is your first reaction?
- Can you look back on previous storms in your life and accept that God ordained the storm and was in control of it?
- How will the realization that God is for you impact your fear?
Resource for YOU
I have the awesome privilege of counseling women and families by Skype and FaceTime all over the world! If you’d like to know more about this wonderful resource of online counseling, please look over this and be sure to request a complimentary counseling phone consult. Cheers!
Counseling Hearts to Hope,
