by Lucy | Aug 2, 2019 | biblical counseling, Counselor Resources |
No one’s life turns out according to plan, right? Not yours. Not mine. In fact, I wouldn’t have chosen parts of my story if I were writing it. Would you change parts of your story too?
This article appeared first here. As you read on, you’ll see I have the Best. Job. Ever. as a biblical counselor with Biblical Counseling Center. I get to counsel people all over the world from my home office through the wonderful technology of FaceTime/Skype/Zoom/email. Plus, I show train other biblical counselors to reach the hurting.
Wonderfully, the all-knowing Author composed every detail of my life and yours, putting us right where he wants us, giving grace to face whatever came our way. So here I am, a grandma and a doctoral student, meeting hurting women all over the world through the technology of video-conferencing. I am shepherding their hearts with compassion and the timeless truth of Scripture.
Helping hurting women sounds like a happy chapter in a full life, right? It is. But it comes by way of pain, as do many good things.
Childhood, Interrupted
Climbing trees, doing cartwheels, and going to school—these activities filled my days. My older brother and I got along all right, but my mom seemed preoccupied much of the time, chain smoking and watching “Day of Our Lives” and game shows. My dad rarely smiled. This saddened me.
Things got scary on “the night of the twisted chairs.” There was yelling and crying in the living room and when I went to check, my mom and brother shooed me to my bedroom. My dad had gone berserk, tossing and bending chairs.
The next day my parents’ psychiatrist met them at the hospital, and my dad eventually received the diagnosis of manic depression, which is the old term for bipolar 1. I remember thinking, “I’m the daughter of a psychotic.” Melodramatic? Yes! I was 14 and confused and hurting.
I learned I was vulnerable and had little control. But I eventually understood that God knows what he is doing even when I don’t.
God “Shows Up”
High school and college swooshed by. I switched my major from psychology to journalism, met my future husband, graduated, and married. One day I went to the library for books on decorating but came home with a thin volume called Basic Christianity by John Stott. I read it in a few hours.
Convicted that I was a hopeless sinner, I confessed my need of the Savior and received Jesus by faith alone. This is not what you’d expect of a good Catholic girl, is it? God had better plans. That God would have mercy on me rocked my world. He changed my life from the inside.
A few years later, my world turned upside down again. Out of nowhere, it seemed, panic attacked me and my heart beat triple-time, sweat beaded my forehead, and my knees felt wobbly like Jell-O. Long story short, my faith in Jesus and help from my doctor pointed me in the right direction. Retraining my thoughts by the Word, and lots of practice, provided what I needed to overcome panic attacks. (I share my story and solutions to panic in my mini-book Help! I Get Panic Attacks, scheduled to publish this fall.)
Through this trial, I learned God is with me, especially in terrifying panic, and changing me into the likeness of Christ.
A Call, Answered
Three children later, I was back in school studying pastoral care to women online through Western Seminary in Portland, OR, answering a call to shepherd the hearts of hurting Christian women. My hope: to reach the women at church and in the community, who don’t get involved in women’s Bibles studies, teas, and retreats … because they are hurting.
Later I discovered a book by Jay Adams, the founder of the modern biblical counseling movement, and got biblical counseling training too. Five years ago, I joined Biblical Counseling Center’s staff, continuing to shepherd hurting women and families in person and online.
And forever a student, crazy me is on schedule to receive my doctorate in biblical counseling in May. I tease my husband that soon he’ll have to call me Doctor Lucy. He thinks that’s funny.
I and many biblical counselors anchor our ministries on 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
“ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Truly, God is the Author writing our stories according to his best plan. For hurting women, he provides other women who lovingly shepherd them, listening deep and giving counsel that encourages them to wholeness in him. And so, it seems, God planned my story so I could meet hurting women in theirs. He’s not finished with us yet, right? I wonder what’s next.
P.S. Many people contact me for counseling for panic attacks, phobias, OCD, post-traumatic stress, and other life stresses. If you or someone you love might want counseling, simply contact me via this easy form. Reduced fees available. 🙂
by Lucy | Apr 23, 2018 | biblical counseling, Counselor Resources
SEMINAR: I am super happy to speak on the intense fear experience our culture terms “panic attacks” at the 2nd Annual Biblical Counseling Training Conference on Saturday, April 28. If you’re in the Chicago area, why don’t you join me?
One reason I’m excited to share my seminar at the conference is my personal experience as a former panic attack sufferer. Please note: former! And another reason is my experience counseling of women and children plagued with anxiety, worry, and fear. To overcome panic, I had tried all of the usual solutions — even tapping on pressure points on my hand. (That was a weird experience.) Then I turned to biblical solutions. Renewing my mind with God’s transformational truth led me away from me and to Jesus.
My seminar is part of BCC’s biblical counseling training conference just outside Chicago. I invite you to come. It begins at 9 a.m. but come a lttle early to check in. The beautiful venue is Bethel Baptist Church, 200 N. Roselle Road, Schaumburg, IL Also you can register on Saturday but it’s a little costlier. Online registration: $30. Walk-in registration: $40.
The Schedule
Morning Keynote: Restoration That Works, Dr. Nathan Millican
“Restoring Conversations” are workshops that helps us live out the call to be instruments of restoration and peace in one another’s lives. How does this look in real life conversations? These workshops will help you understand how to bring biblical wisdom and practical truth together in restorative ways.
Morning Workshop 1: 10:15 to 11AM
- Biblical Counseling Basics 1, Dr. Ron Allchin
- Helping Adoptive Parents, Sherry Allchin
- Engaging Mental Illness, Brandon Lowery
- When Panic Attacks, Lucy Ann Moll
- Relating with Difficult People, Carol Wright
Morning Workshop 2: 11:15 to Noon
- Biblical Counseling Basics 2, Dr. Ron Allchin
- Using a Life Story Tool, Dr. Donna Hart
- After Infidelity, Brandon Lowery
- When Panic Attacks, Lucy Ann Moll
- Relating with Difficult People, Carol Wright
Optional Seminar for Pastors/Elders
10:15-12:15 Step by Step Guide to Starting a Counseling Ministry – Dr. Tim Allchin
Afternoon Keynote: Relational Peacemaking, Dr. Tim Allchin
Peacemaking Tracks are designed to take biblical peacemaking principles and learn how to apply them to specific relationship contexts. Each workshop will have tools, handouts and interaction about peacemaking strategies.
Afternoon – Workshops 2:00—3:30
- Tools for Difficult Marriages, Dr. Ron Allchin and Sherry Allchin
- Peacemaking in Church Conflict: Dr. Tim Allchin
- Your Heart in Personal Conflict, Dr. Donna Hart
- Peacemaking in Parenting: Brandon Lowery
If you have questions or want a complimentary consult, feel free to contact me. I also hope to see you at my seminar!
Counseling Hearts to Hope.
by Lucy | Aug 24, 2017 | biblical counseling, emotions, thoughts |
FEAR HAD A HOLD ON ME. Then I learned how to overcome it. Here’s my story (more…)
by Lucy | Jan 24, 2017 | biblical counseling, emotions
Self-counsel: When you counsel yourself with biblical truth, your emotions become more stable and you respond in better ways. Why? Because you’re speaking truth to your heart! This article by Heart2Heart Counselor Ellen Castillo appeared first here at BC4Women blog and is used with permission. Check out Ellen’s page in the Heart2Heart Counselor Directory.
A couple of months ago, I was in a car accident. My van was totaled, but my daughter and I were not seriously injured. Whiplash, bruises, and soreness have become our daily battles, but those things will get better.
Emotional Effects Post-Trauma
The emotional effects are the most difficult to overcome. I have counseled many post-accident and post-trauma victims. As biblical counselors, we know how to come alongside someone gently in the immediate days following trauma. We know how to eventually begin to target the heart when we see unhealthy and unbiblical responses to the trauma.
When the trauma is our own, do we know how to “self-counsel” our own hearts? There is no trauma too big or too small when it comes to the need for counsel.
When we find ourselves repetitively dwelling on and reliving the accident details, condemning ourselves for the guilt we might bear for the cause of the trauma or accident, having panic attacks at the thought of re-entering normal life again, getting behind the wheel, or seeing the place where the trauma occurred, we must cling to the good counsel we offer to others by offering it to our own hearts.
Goals of Biblical Counseling
One of the goals of biblical counseling is that the counselee would eventually be able to do self-counsel. Self-counsel means that when someone is struggling with sin or suffering, she can turn to God’s Word for answers. She can read, study, memorize, and pray as she seeks to bring the gospel to bear on her struggle.
In that process, God can reveal her heart issues, and she can focus on mind renewal as she repents of her sin. This is how we are all to live, every day, as self-counselors.
Good Self-Counsel Helps for Trauma
As I continue to recover from whiplash as I write this, I have found these things to be most helpful. This is good self-counsel for someone who has recently suffered any kind of trauma:
- Take every thought captive. Remember that every struggle we have begins with a thought. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to destroy the things in our thoughts that are not consistent with the gospel.
- Focus on what is true. Philippians 4:4-9 is a passage to go to often and consider it as sort of a checklist. Run your thoughts through that Philippians 4:8 grid, and redirect your thought life.
- Rehearse the gospel. This phrase is not a cliche, it is life-giving. Thinking on the gospel recalibrates our minds and reminds us that we are no longer under condemnation, that we have been given a new identity, and so much more.
- Fight the fear with the knowledge of God’s sovereignty. God is either in control or He isn’t, and I believe He IS. Yes, even over my car accident. I do not need to know the why’s or how’s in order to trust His promises. Romans 8:28 keeps me from dipping too deep into the “why me’s”.
- Know when your natural initial responses are becoming debilitating, and ask for help. Low-grade temporary depression, for example, is common to most trauma victims. But debilitating depression requires intensive biblical counseling. If you are unable to function at home or on the job, spend most of your day isolating or sleeping, have turned to substance use to self-medicate, are unable to make decisions, or get along with those you love, then it is time to ask for help. God’s Word has answers you need, but we sometimes need someone to come alongside us and show us the way.
- Some people say that “time heals” even trauma. I suggest that although that may seem to be true sometimes, it is only God who can truly heal a traumatized heart. Because of my self-counsel, I am struggling far less with the effects that the accident had on me.
How to Self-Counsel
To self-counsel, you must seek Him more intentionally, dig deep into His Word – read it, study it, memorize it. Keep a meaty prayer life, stay in the church, and in fellowship with Christian friends who encourage you (and also admonish you as needed.)
Serve in ministry at your church, putting others before yourself. And do not hesitate to call on a biblical counselor if you are stuck, and she will be glad to come alongside and offer help and hope. These are the things that helped me and I believe they will help you, too, regardless of your struggle.
Isaiah 41:10 (ESV) “Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Sharing Hope with Your Heart,
by Lucy | Feb 5, 2011 | emotions |
Take courage! God knows you battle daily with fear. He promises you strength to slay your frightful monsters. In him is freedom.
When you or I say or think “What if?” we become a plaything in the paws of the worry monster. This enemy of your soul intends to smash your hopes and dreams like PlayDo and to keep you from becoming the godly woman of courage.
How do I know? God says so. Scripture teaches us truth and sometimes it ain’t pretty.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.”
Now don’t freak. The rest of John 10:10 trumpets a peaceful promise. Here’s Jesus talking:
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
This is abundant life, beautiful warriors. He is the WHO who blots out the “what if’s” that spell f-e-a-r.
The only fear that has any place in a Christian’s life is the fear of God. This godly fear — or reverent submission — draws you toward the Lord and keeps your heart dependent on him. Fear of God blesses you.
Whether you stuggle with “what if” my husband dumps me
or ‘what if” my teen crashes the car
or “what if” my health worsens,
or “what if” I can’t pay the bills this month,
or “what if” another panic attack clutches me by the throat,
know this: “Fear of God is the one fear the dispels all others.” (Jay E. Adams, The Christian Counselor’s New Testament)
How can you grow in the blessed fear of God? Here are three ideas to get you started.
1. Pray to God and ask him to deepen your fear of him. He’ll say “yes” to this prayer because it’s his will for you to fear him as you know him — not as a mean, abusive taskmaster (this isn’t a picture of the one true God) but as your gracious heavenly Father who cherishes you.
2. Memorize Scripture. When you know several, even dozens, of verses by heart, you can remind yourself of God’s promises when you fear jumps you. A few helpful Scriptures are Ephesians 6:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Deuteronomy 31:6, and Philippians 4:13. I’ve found that the best way to memorize is repeat a verse several times a day for a week. Add a second verse and review the first. Then add a third and review the first two, and so on.
3. Praise and thank God throughout the day. It’s sunny? Praise him. Raining? Say thank you. You hugged your kid. More praise. You made it to the grocery store and back home. Thank him. Praise and thanks to God are two more weapons to defeat ungodly fear and develop the blessed fear of God.
Heavenly Father, replace my ugly fear with the blessed fear of reverence of you. You are good. You have power. You made me and you know me. In Jesus I have the power and strength to conquer the enemy of fear. I praise you and thank you. Amen.
Question: What is a recurring fear for you? Please leave a comment. 🙂
You Are Courageous!
