by Lucy | Oct 13, 2011 | biblical counseling, emotions, relationships |
Great men and women of the faith get lonely too. You are not alone. Let your friend know that she also is never alone.
Yesterday I shared five practical solutions to loneliness. In case you missed it, you can read it here.
Keep these solutions in mind as we peek into the life of the apostle Paul as he neared the end of his days on earth.
Was this apostle zealous? Oh, yeah.
Crazy in love with Jesus? Yep.
Lonely? At times. We can learn a lot about dealing with our own loneliness from Paul, a convert to Christianity who proclaimed Jesus EVERYWHERE.
A couple shipwrecks, a bunch of beatings, a few imprisonments, Paul persevered — a bounce to his step — then near his end, he felt lonely.
Deserted by trusted friends, he wrote personal words to Timothy. Listen between the lines to his hurt. The italics are 2 Timothy 4:9-16.
“Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica.”
In contrast to to Paul’s eternal perspective, Demas looked to worldly pleasures to satisfy. How often do I do the same? How often do you?
“Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.”
Two more men leave Paul. Have you ever felt abandoned? I think we all have. No fun.
“Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry. I sent Tychicus to Ephesus.”
Paul has Luke with him. Only Luke. He needs the comfort of others. Just like me and you.
“When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments.”
How telling. Paul is cold and wants his coat. What’s more, he requests his writing materials and quite possibly a copy of the Old Testament in Greek. Even nearing death, he desired to continue to work for the sake of the gospel. No retirement for him.
“Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done. You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message. At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.”
This man is causing trouble. Paul looks to God to avenge. What about you? When a friend, coworker, employer or family member causes you trouble, what is your reaction? What is mine? Is it in line with God’s desires for me. . .
. . .to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. . .
and to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37,39)
by Lucy | Oct 12, 2011 | emotions, relationships |
Lonely women have trouble making and keeping friends. Here are five practical solutions to loneliness.
Loneliness comes in as many flavors as ice cream. (It just tastes like mud.)
Single women who feel lonely in their singleness. Married women who feel lonely in their marriages. Women who feel lonely in their infertility. Widows, single moms, women with illness (physical or mental), women whose jobs transplanted them to another part of the country far from family and friends, women who feel lonely in their shame, their fear, their anger, women whose friend has betrayed them.
Here are 5 practical solutions to loneliness. I’ll add more this week. 🙂 If you have a specific question about friendship, please contact me.
- Do not give in to self-pity. Self-pity is a perfectly natural emotion but it cripples. At first self-pitying thoughts are comforting. It is a false comfort, creating more loneliness.
- Believe what God says about you. Don’t listen to the lies the world tells you. Don’t listen to the lies you tell yourself. Believing lies leads to greater loneliness.
- Draw close to the Lord. Among the many ways to draw near to Jesus: Listen to praise music; read Scripture and think on it, asking God for wisdom in applying it to your life; pray; belong to a Christian fellowship.
- Get a physical exam by a medical doctor. What does this have to do with loneliness? Maybe nothing, maybe a lot. If you have a physical condition that zaps your energy, then getting care may make friendships easier.
- Take a risk and show love to others. I remember when our family moved to a new town and I desperately wanted to make friends in my new church. For a month or so the church ladies talked to me, then nothing. Back to their cliques and saying “Hello” to the people. Feeling lonely and deserted, I prayed, “Lord, make the church ladies show me hospitality and friendship.” I looked in my concordance for a verse to nail the church ladies and I found it: “Practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13). Guess what? Our great God handed the verse to me. I impressed on my heart, “Lucy, you show hospitality.” The word “shock” doesn’t begin to capture my surprise. The next Sunday I began to reach out to the church ladies even though I was the new one.
Psst. . .Did you read my short post featuring a friendship song by Nichole Nordeman and Amy Grant? Click here.
A Friendly Question: Can you share a practical solution to loneliness? Please do.
You Are Blessed!
by Lucy | May 27, 2010 | biblical counseling
Where would I be without a cat standing on my tummy at 5 in the morn, demanding I:
a) turn on the bathroom faucet for his drinking pleasure
b) open the door to the great outdoors, a place to chase birds, a place to pee.
c) scratch the sweet spot on his chest
d) all of the above at the same time, preferably
Answer: D
Without my cat hiss-tory (sorry, could resist 😛 ) my lonely childhood would have been lonelier. I’m sure of this.
First came Suzie. My brother her in circles, as I suppose all 8-year-old boys do,
and let go.
She landed on my face. A scar below my nose proves she once was, her ninth life come and gone.
Then we housed Sylvester and Sylvester No. 2, followed by Charlie and Muffy, who bore Tiger, Tuffy, Buffy and Laces.
Laces was the first cat of my husband and me. And I knew he was a keeper. Years later our eldest talked us into being a two-cat family. Sneakers — born in the backseat of my brother red convertible — joined us too. So did Mumble.
There were many more cats in my childhood. I’ve forgotten their names.
My apologies, kitties.
I thank God he doesn’t forget me.
Question: Are you like cats, dogs, snakes or some other type of critter. Leave a comment, please.
You Are Remembered,
by Lucy | Mar 29, 2010 | biblical counseling |
I’m taking a blogging break this week and am running some of your favorite posts. 🙂 Enjoy. . .again.
Welcome to Real Hurts, Real Hope! I’ve had a place in my heart for this blog long before I thought of it. How do I know? Becau
se you’ve been on my mind, my sweet sister in Christ.
For you I write. I understand, I’ve been there.
Real Hurts, Real Hope was born out of my own pain. Among them was the pain of loneliness and isolation. I’d go to church desiring friendship with godly women, but it seemed everyone was talking to everyone else and they knew the secret handshake or the secret password or whatever and I didn’t. I was the wallflower, just another pretty daisy lost in the lobby.
Can you relate?
Know this, my sweet sister: You are not alone in your emotional and spiritual struggles. You are not alone in the pain that tags along with your physical problems.
Here you are welcome. I encourage you to soak in God’s truth that you are valued, significant and loved. Our God is tender toward you, my sweet sister. He knows your name and has written it on the palm of his hand. He calls you — Beautiful.
Back in the early 1990s, I didn’t understand these biblical truths. . .and I was a follower of Christ. Depression had darkened my mood. Anxiety had rattled my mind too. On top of this tough stuff, difficult memories jabbed me. Yes, there was my parents’ divorce but something even worse.
How could I tell anyone my pain? Especially women in the church who seemed to have it all together?
Fast forward to 2000, the year of God’s specific call on my life.
A summer day. Sunny, a soft breeze. Me alone, in prayer.
God whispered to my heart: “Lucy, comfort my sheep who are hurting with the comfort you’ve received from me.”
“Who me?” I asked
“Trust me, Lucy.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Trust me.”
Like the fuzz of a dandelion, my arguments floated away and I said, “Okay, Lord.”
Since then I’ve ministered to hurting Chistian women and to the people who love them. Fearful women. Lonely women. Abused women. Women caught in addiction: shopping, alcohol, pornography. Women who’ve committed adultery. Women with hard pasts. Women like me. Like you.
And now our Lord has led me to write Real Hurts, Real Hope to reach more Chistian women with the truth that God cherishes you and wants to heal you.
Will you journey with me? You’re my dream come true.
You Are Loved!
