Is Freud Dead? These three words on a Time cover raised eyebrows twenty years.
Yet many in the Church — Christians in the pews and their pastors — flock to the offices of state-licensed professional counselors today; even though Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology called religion a “universal, obsessional neurosis.” (Cited in Frank B. Minirth, Christian Psychiatry, Revell, 1977.) Freud and his students clung to blatantly anti-Christian ideas and practices.
And off to psychologists, Christians marched.
Why Do Christians See Psychotherapists?
Do Christians turn to psychotherapists because the psychotherapy industry grew in power and acceptance in a secular America? Yes. It’s a billion-dollar business.
Do Christians turn to psychotherapists because too many pastors capitulated to the thinking that psychotherapists had better knowledge and more effective therapies than God’s Words? Sadly, yes.
Do Christians turn to psychotherapists because the Bible and its truth (and the Truth–Jesus Christ) is lacking? No. Here’s one of many power Scriptures on counseling.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Some Christians who care about people become psychotherapists and say they integrate biblical belief with psychological philosophy and techniques, claiming that through integration they have more tools in their tool box. More tools in their tool box? “‘Christian psychology’ as the term is used today is an oxymoron‘,” say John MacArthur and Wayne Mack in Introduction to Biblical Counseling (Word Publishing, 1994, 10).
A Shift
The tables are turning. Biblical counselors such as Bob Kellemen, Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition, and others are binding together to bring counseling of the Word (or, biblical counseling) back to the Church. In a recent blog post, Dr. Bob pokes this thorny issue.
The bottom-line question: Shouldn’t counseling of the Word be in the Church?
Please discuss in Comments at the very bottom of this post. Here’s Dr. Bob:
Grab Your Smartphone?
“Real life issues motivated the Apostle Paul to write to the Colossians from his prison cell. The Christians in Colosse were facing suffering—condemnation from Satan (Col. 1:22), judgment by others (Col. 2:16), interpersonal grievances and struggles (Col. 3:13, 15), and family discord (Col. 3:19-21). They were also battling sinful temptations—sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, anger, rage, malice, slander, and lying (Col. 3:5-9).
In today’s world, these are the type of life issues that cause us to grab our smartphone and schedule a counseling appointment. . . Read the rest of Bob’s amazing article here.
Today debuts “A Minute of Hope with Lucy,” my short hope-filled weekend videos.
I’d love to do a video on a topic close to your heart. Leave your idea in Comments. Scroll to the very bottom of this post and you’ll see “Leave a Reply.”
By the way on Tuesday I’m running a wonderful — and thought provoking — blog post by Bob Kellemen on the downside of psychology. You’re going to love it or hate it. On Thursday, I announce the winner of my June giveaway. There’s still time to enter. Bop here to get in on the fun.
Do you want to make a significant difference in your family? at work? in your church? Sure, you do.
You have a heart to bless others big. But how? Giving and getting big blessings can seem overwhelming, impossible, just crazy.
Big blessings begin with small actions.
To get you started, I’d like you to start with two small actions. Just two.
Two Small Actions to Get You Started
1. Think of what change you want in order to make a significance difference. A bigger paycheck? Kids who obey? An opportunity to feed the hungry in your community in the name of Christ?
2. Read this story titled “Just a Few Drops.” It’s amazing. I guarantee it will inspire you and show you how small actions lead to big blessings. Ready, set, read.
Just a Few Drops
(Author Unknown)
The Drought
It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through.
Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn’t see some rain soon. . .we would lose everything.
The Little Boy
It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my six-year old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn’t walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort. . .trying to be as still as possible.
Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches, thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods.
This activity went on for an hour. He would walk carefully to the woods, run back to the house. Finally I couldn’t take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen. . .as he was obviously doing important work and didn’t need his Mommy checking up on him).
The Sneaky Mom
He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them. . .maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose.
As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site. Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him. . .he didn’t even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn laying on the ground, obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy’s hand.
The Spigot
When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree. I followed him back to the house, to a spigot that we had shut off the water to. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift “cup,” as the sun beat down on his little back.
And it came clear to me. The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn’t ask me to help him.
It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him. His little eyes just filled with tears. “I’m not wasting,” was all he said.
The Rescue
As he began his walk, I joined him. . .with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job.
I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, they were suddenly joined by other drops. . .and more drops. . .and more. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride.
Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. That miracles don’t really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can’t argue with that. . .I’m not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm. . .just like the actions of one little boy saved another.
I don’t know if anyone will read this. . .but I had to send it. . . .To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon but not before showing me the true face of God, in a little sunburned body.
Small Actions, Big Blessing
The boy took small actions and achieved a higher purpose. He valued the life of a fawn and brought it life-giving water. One handful. Another handful. And another.
Small actions. Big blessing.
God took mercy on the family and the fawn and sent clouds heavy with rain drops. Amazing, just amazing.
Do you need a miracle too? Do you want the desires of your heart?
God promises, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give your the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4)
You begin by delighting yourself in the LORD, worshiping him, choosing his will, his plans. Then as you align your heart with his, you will want what he wants. His desires become your desires. What God purposes comes to pass. Always.
Getting What You Desire
Remember I said two small actions up top? First, you thought what change to want to make a significance difference. Second, you saw how one boy’s small actions and his determination saved a life.
Now ask God to impress on your heart your next small action to make a significant difference. Underline small. Write it on your calendar. Then do it.
Cyber bullies lurk on your kid’s phone, name-calling, shaming, rejecting. My generation played “Ghost in the Graveyard” and “Ring and Run” ourside and watched TV or phone friends … on the phone attached to a wall. Today’s kids are often online playing games. The more your kids are online, the greater likelihood your son or daughter will run into a cyber bully.
And that’s scary.
As the mother of three children (two teens and an adult daughter), cyber UNsafety gives me nightmares. My son too.
While he played Minecraft with his Christian school friends on XBox 360 Live, a person who identified himself as a teen boy who crashed their game threatened my 13-year-old. The cyber-gaming-bully said, “I’m going to hack your account.” This unsettled my son.
Then much worse.
The mean boy snarled: “I’m gonna rape you.”
CyberBullies, Gaming, and Safety
My son told my husband and me about the threats. We asked, “Did you share your gaming password with this person or anyone else?”
“No.”
“Did you tell him your address or your name?”
“No.”
My husband and I reassured our son that as long as he’s telling the truth, then the would-be hacker/rapist could not mess with his XBox account or find out where you live and attack you.
Despite our reassurance, he had trouble falling asleep. The next morning, he described a dream in which this cyber-gaming-bully hacked his account and destroyed his Minecraft world.
According to CovenantEyes.com, cyber-bullying is worse than you may realize. Eighty-eight percent of teens say they have seen someone be mean or cruel to another person on a social network, 24 percent say someone has written something about them on an Internet page that was “really mean,” and 16 percent report someone have put up embarrassing photos or videos of them on an Internet page without their permission.
Parenting the Internet generation is tough. You can help keep your kid safe. You can become informed and care enough to ask the tough questions. One day — may be not today, or tomorrow, or next month — your teen will thank you.
Safety Tips
When your kid plays video games on a home computer or console such as Wii, Xbox 360, or PlayStation 3, you need to become aware of the potential threats and what you can do.
THREAT: Many games have f-bombs and other cuss words, violence, and sexual content. Some games’ objectives involve a “crime” to win the game or to get more points. These virtual crimes include theft, stalking, and murder.
YOUR PART: Learn about the games your kid plays at home and friends’ homes. Read the ratings, even play the games to determine suitability.
THREAT: Most teens and preteens prefer online games, increasing the potential for harmful interactions with others–cyber bullies as well as predators who seem friendly or give a fake age.
YOUR PART: Encourage your kid to choose a screen name (called a gamertag) that doesn’t include his or her real name and isn’t violent/sexual/profane/hateful. Tell your your kid that he or she must not share ANY personal information including name of school or hometown. Ban the use of webcams unless you directly supervise.
Chances are, you’re aware of the highly publicized cyber-bullying cases where bullied teens become so distraught and depressed over online bullying that they committed suicide. These cases are terribly tragic; they are not the norm.
More common are hurtful emails, instant messages, and texts. Slander and gossip spread like wildfire among teens, even younger children, creating emotional and social turmoil. Some kids put up embarrassing photos on Facebook and other online sites. Other kids open themselves up to cyberbullying by going to sites like Formspring.me and invite people to ask them personal questions that may be sexual and degrading.
THREAT: Cyberbullies have targeted your kid with slanderous or crude, hateful emails and texts.
YOUR PART: Look for emotional and behavioral warning signs. Is your teen seem increasingly withdrawn? Is she spending dramatically more or less time online or on her cell phone? Teach them to log off when a cyberbully tries to hurt them with words and emotions.
THREAT: Your teen is participating in cyber-bullying.
YOUR PART: When you suspect your teen is saying hurtful things about others, it’s time for a frank talk. Clearly state your expectations of what language and words are not okay — name-calling, sexual words, coarse jokes, and threats. As you deem necessary, take away electronic devices including cell phones, laptops, video games, and so on from your teen. Require that your teen give you his or her password so you can view texts and instant messages. Go on their Facebook wall. See what they’re posting.
Most Important
Be wise and don’t fret. Know God’s in control.
Do not be anxious about anything,but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
A quick intro, just in case we haven’t met: I am a child on the One True God,
wife and mom of 3, a certified biblical counselor, seminary graduate,
dark chocoholic, cat lover, and I’ve earned a black belt in Karate
(which just means. . .I fight like a girl, if I must.)
For the next few weeks I’m rerunning my readers’ FAVORITE posts and a few of my personal winners.
Enjoy. ~ Lucy
Friends are water to the soul. They lift you up and nourish you. Which is better for your overall well-being? In-real-life (IRL) friends or online friends? Or does it matter?
A scare-your-pants-off article in Newsweek hints that online friendships can be bad for you. Why? Spending time online — and thus sites like Facebook — may rewire your brain, resulting in loneliness, depression, even psychosis. Is this true?
Are online friendships bad for your health? Put another way, should you close your Facebook account? Today?
Ah, no.
Here is the view of another journalist who also looked at the scary research and takes a common-sense approach to spending time online.
What God Says
More important, what does God say about friendships?
Listen to this:
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
and this:
The righteous choose their friends carefully,
but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 12:26)
and this verse too:
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God —I say this to your shame. (1 Corinthians 15:33,34)
By the way, there is no biblical command to avoid online friends. . .for good reason.
Choose Friends Wisely
The meaning of these bible verses is clear: Spend your time with friends who are becoming more and more like Christ. You and I tend to model the words, actions, and thinking of the people we hang with. Of course, it’s all right — even good — to be in the company of sinners. Jesus was. This brief passage shows him breaking bread with messy people.
Like Jesus, when you and I have friends who do not love Jesus, our purpose needs to be this: putting their most important need first, that is, knowing Christ.
Nothing beats a hug from a reach-out-and-touch friend in good times and in tough times, and ((((hug))))) typed in a Facebook status is nice but not the same. Agree?
Also, in the bible, we hear this instruction: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:24,25).
The upshot: Make and keep Christian girlfriends.
Online Friends
Check out these stories of my kids’ assertion that my Facebook friend aren’t real friendsAND how I met an online girlfriend in person and why it was meaningful to me. Hugs, tears, and more hugs, more tears. . .and my husband’s Cheshire cat smile.
Friends, please stop by my Facebook page and share your thoughts on friendship and Facebook.
What influence has Facebook and other “friend” sites has on your IRL (in real life) friendships?
