The tiny Toyota zoomed off. Just a minute before, my John, 16 years old and armed with a driver’s license, had smiled that lovable goofy grin and reassured me. “It’s gonna be OK, Mom.”
This man-boy comforting me. What a switch. Am I ready for this change? It had always been me kissing his boo-boos, telling him “It’s gonna be OK,” making his lunches.
I want to handle change well but it’s tough
when your youngest goes to the big big high school
and you daydream the day he came home
so little, so so little.
Will the high school swallow him and spit him out? I wonder.
Will a jerk stuff him in the locker? Will he lose his keys? Or his lunch or school ID? Will the car start? Will he make it home in one piece?
Is It Wrong to Worry?
Me? A worry wart? Every since God freed me from a paralyzing phobia, I had figured I had licked anxiety. But maybe not. This change — my youngest driving to high school — unsettled my heart. Am I afraid to trust him to navigate an ever confusing world?
Perhaps I felt anxious because he’s my youngest? Or that my eldest recently married? Or my middle child is off at college and found a guy and love.
As I danced with the sin of worry, God reminded me of this Scripture:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:6-7, NIV)
Does a Bible verse speak to you when you feel nervous? Or out of sorts? Which one helps you handle change well?
God Works in Hearts
Do you see how God worked in my heart?He reminded me of his Word. His Word exudes power. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
He works in you too, reminding you that he is in control and he is good, helping you to love him and love others.
I considered the verse phrase by phrase. Like this:
Do not be anxious about anything
Anything? Yes!
I have a choice. I can choose my selfish way and worry about my son — or you your college kid and cute kindergartner — and deny God’s care for him.
Easier said than done!
Do you have trouble believing God too? When do you dismiss his promises?
Now another phrase:
With thanksgiving, present your requests to God
Did you catch “with thanksgiving”?
God wants you and me to come to him with all of your trials and triumphs. He also desires an attitude of thanksgiving. We can thank him for the trial. James 1:2-4
Yes!
We can thank him for his answer to our request — whether the answer is yes, no, or wait. God is near. He hears. He cares.
But What If I Still Worry?
If I still worry, will God hate me? Some of us wonder. No! God loves messies, like you and me. He knows you try and you fail, and you try again. He gets it. He gets you.
When you catch yourself worrying over a life change like a kid going to a new school, pray. Or a child marrying. Or a new job or home or health problem.
Pray with thanksgiving.
Pray with confidence.
Pray with power.
Tell God that you want to stop worrying and start trusting and he will help you! He’ll help you exchange fear for fatih.
And when you mess up again, talk to God. He never tires of your plea.
He loves loves lovesyou! You are his precious child.
Whatever you call it, change is tough. . .usually.
Let’s dip our toes into the topic of change and all our crazy emotions for the next few weeks and find out how to do change good.
We’ll look at the change of :
~ a financial setback or windfall.
~ kids marching off to college and Kindergarten.
~ crazy new health condition.
~ moving.
~ a new baby or grand baby.
~ leaving a church and attending a new one.
~ losing a loved one to death.
And we’ll see what God has to say about it and — this is big with me — HOW to apply biblical truth to our specific situations.
Won’t you join me?
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We women can stumble into a dangerous trap as we help others.
The pitfall of self neglect.
It may seem holy and right to neglect your own needs as you care for others, but is it?
Scripture presupposes you love yourself.
Of course, loving God is most important. As you love God, you’ll want to love others and yourself. Listen.
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher, he asked, What must I do to inherit eternal life?
‘What is written in the Law?’ he replied. ‘How do you read it?’
He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
‘You have answered correctly,’ Jesus replied. ‘Do this and you will live.’ (Luke 10:25-28, NIV)
Love God and love your neighbor as yourself — this imperative has a curious phrase at the end: “as yourself.” It suggests you care for, protect, preserve, and nurture yourself. Some women have a problem with this.
How can you help a hurting friend when you’re falling to pieces?
Your Body
You know the basics of physical health: eat well, exercise, and get adequate sleep. Have you considered play?
Among the mommy perks was going down slides, swinging high and jumping into sand, and getting dizzy on the merry-go-round. And laughing. I played like a kid, and no one looked at me funny.
As my kids became older and less interested in playgrounds, I found other playful outlets like karate.
Do you include play in your schedule? Think of one or two ways you can “play” this week. Write them on your calendar.
Your Emotions
Emotions are neither morally good nor bad. Jesus expressed emotions — from grief and joy, to anger and anxiety. What matters is how you express them.
Picture a two-year old throwing a tantrum. She is angry and acting out.
How about a sullen sixth-grader? He allows sadness swallow his joy.
Then there’s a twenty-something full of fear. She’s afraid to get a job or to make new friends because she may face rejection.
An insightful scripture in dealing with emotions is Ephesians 4:14,15:
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
In this word picture the waves and winds of life upset believers. Influencing their emotions are bad teaching and nasty scheming. To grow up and express emotions appropriately, this Scripture says to speak the truth in love.
In my biblical counseling to women, many discover how to do this and have turned around relationships with spouses and adult children. How does speaking the truth in love steady your emotions?
Your Spirit
Loving God and yourself means spending time with your Maker. You know the common ways: reading Scripture, praying, and worshiping in church. An overlooked yet life-changing way to touch God: Christian meditation.
It differs from Eastern or New Age meditation, in which the goal of meditation is emptying one’s mind of all thought. Christian meditation is thinking on a particular Scripture. You fill your mind with God’s truth.
Do you meditate on Scripture? How has meditation helped you worship God?
The other day, I opened to Genesis and read the first chapter. I focused on two scriptures: 1:1 and the phrase, “And there was evening, and there was morning — the first day” (1:5). And the second day, the third day and so on.
As I meditated, I felt an amazing sense of peace. He reassured me that he’s in charge, has a plan, and can handle anything. Meditation led to an expression of praise through worship.
When you love God first, you want to love your neighbor and yourself too.
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Fly free of today’s guilt. Yesterday’s mistakes. Last week’s mess-ups!
You are made for heaven. This is not your home. Read that again, this is not your home.
God knows Satan wants to take you down while He lifts you up up up. Just as he lifted up Jesus on a cross in love. Jesus died for your sins and mine on that horrific day.
Do you know how much God loves you? Have you opened the gift of salvation?
The Struggle
Like the apostle Paul we struggle. We Christians still make ugly choices (i.e., sin) all the time.
In my pride, I want to pretend I’m better than that. The truth is, I screw up. You screw up. The bible calls it our sin nature.
Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:20-25, NIV, emphasis mine)
We were born in Adam; when you and I became believers in the one true God, we got a new identity in Christ. We are now in Christ. As crazy as it sounds, we are saints in God’s eyes. Ephesians 1:3
Sinning saints.
Sinning saints. . .this is who we are in Christ until the rapture or God takes us home. What’s a sinning saint to do?
Repentance is one of God’s many gifts to us. It’s restoration and peace and joy and hope sweet hope. I had thought is was a real drag. Right up there with, , ,
bouncing a check
getting a call from the school principal
having a root canal
How wrong could I be?
Repentance Is Happiness
Repentance is happiness. Tweet that! Seriously. It’s a U-turn in your thinking. When you decide to turn from your selfish desires and seek God, you experience peace and contentment. Repenting of a wrong is motivating. It motivates you to change.
Not because you have to. Because you want to.
You sense the Holy Spirit flowing through you like a river. Truly and wonderfully amazing.
Let’s Chat
Why might repentance be happiness? Please leave a comment. 🙂
Friends and the women I’ve counseled have confided overwhelming fears of bees, worms, storms, eating in public, the dark, full moons, and leaving the house unless accompanied by a trusted family member or friend.
Please be encouraged. There’s hope. You can find healing for your hurts.
Psst: It looks like I lost my head in parts of this one-minute video. A tech glitch. My head is screwed on. Promise. 🙂
After watching the video, please share something that scares you. Leave it in Comments — scroll to the very bottom of this post — or send me a message. It’s my privilege to pray for you.
The tiny Toyota zoomed off. Just a minute before, my John, 16 years old and armed with a driver’s license, had smiled that lovable goofy grin and reassured me. “It’s gonna be OK, Mom.”
