Don’t You Need Contentment Too?

Don’t You Need Contentment Too?

Contentment: Even for Christian women, contentment may seem an impossible day-by-day reality. It’s so easy to slip into discontent, right?

My own quest for contentment prompted my purchase of Megan Hill’s Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness right when P&R released it. Her 31 days of devotional readings and life application has helped me keep my focus on Jesus as our ultimate hope. 

Get a taste of her book below in an excerpt from her book, which appeared first here on The Biblical Counseling Coalition website. It is used with permission. (Edited for length.–LAM) HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

An Excerpt from Contentment

Discontent can strike at any time. On a Monday morning, the alarm goes off, and discontent is ready to pounce. Anything can invite an attack—a careless slosh from your coffee mug, a terse text from your spouse, a towering mountain of laundry on the basement floor—and you are frustrated with your life before you even walk out the door.

By the time the doctor’s office calls with your test results or the mail delivery brings a new round of bills, you are wishing for a new life entirely. Even something as simple as an unexpected rain shower can unleash thunderclouds in your heart. Just a few hours ago, you were joyfully worshipping God in the assembly of the saints at church and now you are thoroughly disappointed about how this same God is ordering events.

And it doesn’t stop there. Throughout our days, discontent waits for all of us. Whether we are young or old, alone or in a group, relaxing or working, we face circumstances that frustrate our expectations for what life should be like.

Worry

Once it takes hold of our hearts, discontent quickly leads to other sins. Because we fundamentally distrust what God is doing in and for us, our hearts give way to worry.

Every new circumstance feels surprising and potentially harmful. Everything from the flu to the presidential election brings an onslaught of uncertainty. We do not believe that God is caring for us, and we have little confidence that these events will be for our good, so our minds and hearts spin with anxiety.

Envy

Dissatisfied with our own situation, we look around at the lives of others and add the sin of envy. We covet the lives of our friends and neighbors—people who seem to have everything we want and more.

We also covet the lives of strangers—the happy couple with the gorgeous HGTV home or the alumnus whose fast-track career was lauded in the latest university publication. (And) we lust after their accomplishments or relationships or finances, increasing the discontent with our own.

Complaining

Frustrated and disappointed, we also fall into the snare of complaining. Seemingly every situation releases a sigh from our hearts.

The weather is too cold. The gray hairs too plentiful. The kids are too energetic. The pay is paltry, the hours over-long, the commute a total waste.

Like the Israelites in the wilderness, we give voice to our discontent with grumbling—accusing God of mishandling our lives and demanding that he give us what we want.

Discontent—and its evil companions—are everywhere.

Contentment devotion

Contentment Is Really Possible!

But if discontent waits just around the next corner, grace does too. At every moment, in every one of life’s circumstances, the Lord is ready with forgiveness (Neh. 9:7), encouragement (Rom. 15:5), strength (Phil. 4:13), and love (Rom. 8:38-39). The God who made you and sustains you is able to make grace abound to you for all things at all times (2 Cor. 9:8). In the fight against discontent, you are never alone.

I wrote Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness because the temptation to discontent is common to all of us (1 Cor. 10:13). By the help of the Holy Spirit, we all—including me—need to rest content in God’s sovereignty over the circumstances of our lives. And it’s only when we look away from ourselves and our own circumstances that we can lay our eyes—and our hearts—on what truly satisfies: God and his good purposes.

This book was born in the midst of my own temptations to grumbling and anxiety. I wrote and edited while experiencing parenting challenges, relational disappointments, a leaking roof, an unexpected job change, and the daily repetition of dishes and laundry and dirty floors.

The Secret of Contentment

Not a day goes by that I don’t have to remind myself of the truth I wrote:

“The secret of contentment is not in having ‘enough’ money (or status or relationships or education). Rather, the secret of contentment is placing our ultimate hope in something secure:

The Lord will never leave us or forsake us; he is our help, so there is no reason to fear.”

Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness can be purchased from Amazon.

Megan-HillMegan Hill is a PCA pastor’s wife living in Massachusetts and an editor for The Gospel Coalition. She is the author of Contentment: Seeing God’s Goodness (P&R, 2018) and Praying Together (Crossway, 2016). This article is adapted from Contentment.

Counseling Hope to Your Heart,

Reformation Celebration and FREE Resources!

reformationJoin the Reformation celebration! While the kids dress up and trick ‘o’ treat, remember that today marks the 500th anniversary of the event that sparked the Protestant Reformation. 

On Oct. 31, 1517, Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the wooden doors of a Roman Catholic church in Wittenberg, Germany. In his theses, Luther, a Catholic monk, attacked the church’s corruption and indulgences-for-sale system. Shares pastor Kevin DeYoung at The Gospel Coalition:

One of the things we must never forget to say is that the Reformation mercifully allowed fearful sinners to have a new kind of relationship with God. The Reformation reminded God’s people that they can have direct access to God through Christ. It re-centered the church on the lavish, scandalous good news of the cross.

Counseling Under the Cross Book!

To commemorate the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, Bob Kellemen penned his latest book: Counseling Under the Cross: How Martin Luther Applied the Gospel to Daily Life. Below are links to wonderful free resources from Kellemen, who also is a biblical counselor, professor, and pastor.

He says,

Martin Luther not only reformed theology; his understanding of the gospel reformed daily Christian living, biblical counseling, pastoral counseling, one-another ministry, and soul care.

Through Counseling Under the Cross, you can learn how Luther richly, relevantly, robustly, and relationally book coverapplied the gospel to suffering, sin, sanctification, and our search for peace with God. And throughout, Kellemen shares lively vignettes, real-life stories, and direct quotes from Luther. They also help equip you to apply the gospel to yourself and others—finding hope and help in Christ alone.

Here, then, are the resources as well as a link to the book.

14 Free Resources

You can download all of the following resources here. Also, if you want to send this link to a friend, here’s a shortened version: http://bit.ly/LutherResources

  1.  95 Martin Luther Quotes of Note (PDF Version)
  2.  95 Martin Luther Quotes of Note (Word Document Version)
  3.  The Sufficiency of Scripture/Sola Scriptura quotes of note.
  4. Comforting the Suffering quotes of note.
  5. Looking at Life through the Lens of the Cross quotes of note.
  6. Preaching the Gospel to Yourself quotes of note.
  7. Growing in Grace quotes of note.
  8. Salvation by Faith Alone/Sola Fide quotes of note.
  9. Also enjoy 15 Q&A Responses by author Dr. Bob Kellemen on Counseling Under the Cross
  10. Download PowerPoint Slides: How Martin Luther Applied the Gospel to Suffering (PowerPoint Presentation from Wittenberg Germany on the 500th Anniversary of the Reformation)
  11. Get Outline Notes: How Martin Luther Applied the Gospel to Suffering (Lesson Handout/Notes from Wittenberg Germany on the 500th Anniversary of the Reformation)
  12. Download PowerPoint Slides: How Martin Luther Applied the Gospel to Sin and Sanctification (PowerPoint Presentation from Wittenberg Germany on the 500th Anniversary of the Reformation)
  13. Also get Outline Notes: How Martin Luther Applied the Gospel to Sin and Sanctification (Lesson Handout/Notes from Wittenberg Germany on the 500th Anniversary of the Reformation)
  14.  Plus, read endorsements for Counseling Under the Cross. 

Enjoy Your Autographed Copy!

You can purchase an autographed copy of Counseling Under the Cross on sale at 25 percent off. So, for $14.99, why not get your copy at RPM Bookstore?

Counseling Hearts to Hope (and Health)!

Peace? Anger? A Small Book About a Big Problem

peacePeace is a hot commodity today. We all want it in our anger-infused, Twitter-bombed world. But how?
Biblical counselor and psychologist Ed Welch offers hope for change for people who struggle with irritation and want peace. Really, who likes anger? And as Welch sound-bites: To be angry is to destroy. 
The 50 short meditations in A Small Book About a Big Problem: Meditations on Anger, Patience, and Peace helps you to unpack your anger and see its underlying cause. The meditations also encourage you to respond with patience and to pursue peace. Check the book out here.

Big Problem

Yes, anger pours out testy words. Eye rolls and sighs reveal the simmer. Slammed doors shake homes and relationships. Anger may whisper or shout, but is almost always destructive. And Jesus had much to say about anger and its antitode: God-honoring peace.
Welch fills the pages with scripture passages and with instruction to overcome anger. His target: the heart. His method: letting you see the yuck of anger and inviting you to want treasure in heaven most of all. It’s a self-versus-God attitude and choice, isn’t it?.

Hello, Peace!

On the path to peace, you’ll meet afresh the Prince of Peace: Jesus. You’ll also discover your need to forgive. And pray. And bless an enemy. Welch suggests you read the meditations a day at a time. This way your mind and heart absorb all that is anger and hate it. You also learn to love peace and seek the Peace-Giver.
So if you’re sick of anger and want peace, read this little-big book–all 50 days.

Meet the Author

Ed WelcjEdward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He earned a Ph.D. in counseling (neuropsychology) from the University of Utah and has a Master of Divinity degree from Biblical Theological Seminary. Ed has been counseling for over thirty years and has written extensively on the topics of depression, fear, and addictions.

Empty Nest: Adjusting and Loving It! (Part 2)

empty nest 2Empty nest. My friend Karen excitedly watched her three young adult children take flight. But my frend Diane felt uneasy. Her son had made bad choices in high school. Would he waste college too? And Dee had one heck of a time getting her daughter to leave the nest.

All three are adjusting to the empty nest, but only one is loving it. So far.

In this two-part series on the empty nest, you’ll discover. . .

  1. Best way to prepare your empty nest, whether your kids are  just out of high school or farther down the road. Read part one.
  2. How to adjust and love the empty nest, including finding romance and investing in grandbabies.

The Empty Nest Book!

empty nest coverAuthor Michele Howe has written a book for any parent who finds herself in the midst of an empty nest. Preparing, Adjusting, and Loving the Empty Nest tackles the questions moms face, the emotions they encounter, and the changes soon to come. I strongly recommend it. See the book on Amazon here.

In a friendly, interactive style, Michele shares spiritual wisdom from the likes of seasoned biblical counselor Paul Tripp, take-away action steps, personal stories, and prayers. Indeed, it is a cross between a devotional and a parenting how-to book.

While an older empty nest-er would find encouragement, hope, and practical ideas in the pages of Preparing, Adjusting, and Loving the Empty Nest, it best suits moms who are entering this season of life.

Adjusting to the Empty Nest

DEALING WITH LONELINESS: One day Michele looked at the tree where her kids loved to climb, then her heart hurt. She tripped down memory lane–Easter egg hunts, Fourth of July fireworks, Thanksgiving feast, and Christmas joy–and began to feel lonely and sad. Isn’t it true that the older we get, we see life differently?

Michele says that one way to reduce emotional grief is by learning to live in the present and to be present. She asks, How can spending too much time reminiscing bring on sadness? How can you be more present today and look out for others in need of friends?

Take-Away Action Thought

When I begin to dip into sadness, I will search for those who need encouragement, help, and hope. 

INTERCEDING FOR YOUR CHILDREN: Don’t you agree that moms who take their worry to God in prayer fare better than those who don’t? One way to be consistent in prayer is by keeping a prayer journal. So how does it work practically?

When your son or daughter calls or texts to tell you of a problem their facing, turn to your prayer journal, jot the details, date it, and pray. “The more time I spend perusing my prayer journal, the more my faith is strengthened, and the more inner peace I experience,” Michele shares. Her prayer journal dates back ten years! (Another help is Transform Your Thought Journal — an ebook for godly mind renewal.)

How abundant are the good things

that you have stored up for those who fear you,

that you bestow in the sight of all,

on those who take refuge in you.

Psalm 31:19

Loving the Empty Nest

REINTRODUCING ROMANCE: Every couple struggles sometimes. So it’s important to honestly appaise your marriage, own up to your mistakes, ask forgiveness, and start afresh. But you also must plan time to talk and have fun together.

Take-Away Action Thought

I will proactively make plans for enjoyable activities together every single week by getting the calendar out and marking specific dates/time.

STEPPING UP HEALTHY LIVING PLANS: “When my fifty-something body rejects the idea of getting up and moving. . .I am grateful that my child-rearing days are over,” Michele quips. It’s time to reevaluate fitness goals and to eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep. (A superbly helpful guide is this eBook: Fit for Life.)

INVESTING IN GRANDCHILDREN: This takes intentionality! Plans that truly matter don’t just happen. Rather, you pray, you plan, you proceed!

When your grandkids live close, you’ll get to attend their school and church activities. But if you’re many hours away (by car or plane), you still can enjoy fun ways to love the little ones long-distance but you’ll need to plan. Right now list a plan of at least six different ways to practically show love to your grandchildren this month.

Friends, do you need prayer or have a question, why not contact me? I aim to answer within the day, God willing.

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,

Empty Nest: Preparing for Changes! (Part 1)

empty nestEmpty nest. Some women expectantly watch their adult children take flight and do life on their own. Other mothers fear their children leaving home. Still others must push them out the door. . .or the millennials may stay, like, forever.

In this two-part series on the empty nest, you’ll discover. . .

  1. Best way to prepare your empty nest, whether your kids are  just out of high school or farther down the road.
  2. How to adjust and love the empty nest, including finding romance as an empty nester, planning retirement, and welcoming grandbabies.

The Empty Nest Book!

empty nest coverAuthor Michele Howe has written a book for any parent who finds herself in the midst of an empty nest. Preparing, Adjusting, and Loving the Empty Nest tackles the questions moms face, the emotions they encounter, and the changes soon to come. I strongly recommend it and wished I had it when I counseled a 50-something mom I’ll call Mary. See the book on Amazon here.

Mary, whom I counseled by Skype, lived in western United States with her husband and adult son. The son was nearing age 30, had a decent paying job in sales, and hunkered down at home. And he promised to look for an apartment. . .soon. But his empty promise “was just a way to get me off his back,” Mary admitted. “How can I encourage him to face the world, and at the same time, prepare for an empty nest?”

In a friendly, interactive style, Michele shares spiritual wisdom from the likes of seasoned biblical counselor Paul Tripp, take-away action steps, personal stories as well as prayers. Indeed, it is a cross between a devotional and a parenting how-to book.

While an older empty nest-er would find encouragement, hope, and practical ideas in the pages of Preparing, Adjusting, and Loving the Empty Nest, it best suits moms who are entering this season of life.

Preparing for the Empty Nest

GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL: Opening with readying high schoolers to leave home (whether for college or work), Michele encourages parents and children to talk about making solid choices, expecting stress and excitement, and relying on Jesus Christ.

Take-away action thought:

I will purpose to keep the big things the main things as I prepare my child for leaving home. Faith first and always.

BUDGETING: Teaching children — and reminding yourself — to handle money with care and prayer pays off as you enter the empty nest years.

PRAYER: Michele shares how she prays for her adult children.

Today is the only day that I have to get on my knees and express my concern for by beloved children. Tomorrow I may be gone. What better way to demonstrate a robust faith in the God who loves to hear from his children that to offer up heartfelt prayers for our kids?

She also suggests keeping a prayer journal, dating your prayers, and recording God’s answers.

LISTENING IN TOUGH TIMES: Learning to be a good listener strengthens your relationship, especially when your adult children come to you with one of life’s challenges. “We need to patiently listen to them speak,” Michele encourages. “Let’s not interrupt. Let’s not allow ourselves to sink into a fearul abyss because our children are teetering there.”

Instead of choosing fear, choose faith.

  • Remind your children that God has been faithful to your family through the years.
  • Champion his character into your kids.
  • Comfort your children over and over and over, as God leads.

TRUST THE LORD DAILY: In preparing an empty nest, you may feel undone. Does your wavering faith mean God has changed? No! Has he distanced himself from you? No, again. Does it mean you can prepare yourself for new times? Yes!

Take-away Action Thought:

When I feel myself pulling my children too close for their own good, I will ask for the strength to loosen my grip and send them off with a smile of my face and a song in my heart.

In part 2, let’s take a peek at adjusting and loving the empty nest. Feel free to send me your questions.

Until then. . .

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,

 

 

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