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Ultimate Goal of Biblical Counseling!

by Lucy | Feb 20, 2018 | biblical counseling, thoughts | 2 comments

What is the ultimate goal of biblical counseling? Click & Tweet!

The ultimate goal of biblical counseling is to bring about heart change so that we live fruitfully for Jesus Christ and God is glorified. The heart is one’s inner self. It includes our thoughts, motives, attitudes, and will.

But sometimes we are willing to settle for pain relief, right?

It’s better than relief.

Often people who seek counseling, biblical or secular, just want a better life, perhaps a less painful life. But “pain relief” falls short in the end.

A Christian couple I’ll call Bob and Katie sought counseling for their teen daughter’s angry outbursts. In a few sessions, it became clear that the primary underlying counseling issue was Bob’s drinking and his disconnection from the family. The girl’s anger was, in part, directed toward the dad’s choosing alcohol over a loving relationship with her and the family.

Yes, ditching the booze and choosing to love God above all might be excruciatingly difficult for Bob, who confesses Christ. But teaching the wife and daughter how to get along with a detached and delinquent dad wouldn’t truly help anyone. He needs lasting change and so do they.

It aims for life transformation.

Biblical counseling aims for lasting heart change. Its goal of heart change for life transformation means living for God, not self. First Timothy 1:5 says:

But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

The goal of instruction in biblical counseling is love. Many verses in the Bible emphasize that people who love God obey his commands.

Obedience in a Christian is not a “have-to”; it is a “want-to.”

God gives us everything we need to bring about change and experience the abundant life he promises in John 10:10. Yes, making this change requires submitting to God’s plan for your life. It takes your cooperation as God guides you to the ultimate goal of biblical counseling.

3 Essentials of Heart Change

Expect your biblical counselor to listen to your story, pray with you and for you, and help you move forward. As you move forward you’ll learn God’s instructions that help you live successfully (or “victoriously,” in biblical terminology) for your good and his glory. Here are three of these essential.

1. Confess and repent. These go together like peanut butter and jelly. Whenever your thoughts, emotions, and actions are against God’s command to love him and love your neighbor, you agree with God (i.e., confess) that you messed up, confessing to him in prayer and to the wronged persons, and you repent (i.e., commit to turn away from sin and turn to God).

2. Renew your mind. As you cooperate with God, you’ll begin choosing your thoughts and learn to keep every thought captive.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

This is a battle fought in the mind, and it is a war. Your old sin nature battles with your new spiritual nature. See Galatians 5:17.

3. Break ungodly habits. You’ve struggled with sin a long time, but a Christian no longer is a slave to sin and can escape temptations and glorify God. Click & Tweet! A comforting verse is 1 Corinthians 10:13:

But remember that the temptations that come into your life and no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.

As you embrace the ultimate goal in biblical counseling, you will see improvement. Change takes time. Remain hopeful. God never wastes anything, not even our failures. Through the cross, Jesus has already won the war for you.

So what now?

Friend, are you considering biblical counseling? Please poke around my site. I have nearly 1,000 articles and other resources for you to read and listen to. If you’d like to make an appointment for Counseling via Video and Live Chat, please contact me. You may also ask for a free, 15-minute phone consult to help you decide. Ask for it here.

Counseling hearts to hope,

Building a Godly Marriage by Leading Together

by Lucy | Oct 19, 2017 | biblical counseling, relationships

MARRIAGE: When marriage hurts, you may wonder if you’re destined for continual disagreement and dissatisfaction. Or is their a path forward, together? Discover how you and your spouse can lead together while respecting God-designed roles in marriage.

Your path forward is a plan on where and how to lead your home. Click & Tweet!

Leading Together?

Often we equate leadership in the home to specific roles, obligations and expectations. Did you know that biblical teaching on marriage is really more about following Christ than who’s in charge in the home?

There are five biblical words that capture the heart of the Christian leadership model in the home: stong, sacraficial, spiritual, servant, and support. The first four describes the husband’s role in a godly marriage. The fifth is just for you, the wife.

Five Leadership Keys

For Husbands:

Strong (intentional, pure, engaged, addressing the issues)
Sacrificial (putting others before self, unconditional love)
Spiritual (investing in spiritual growth, modeling godly character)
Servant (humble)

When a husband is a strong, sacraficial, spiritual, servant leader of home, wives want to follow, don’t you agree?But when a husband abdicates his leadership responsibility,conflict and disunity result. There is hope. So if you are in this position as a couple, don’t settle for a “less than wonderful” marriage. Rather, seek help from your pastor or a biblical counselor, in person or by Skype.

For Wives:

5. Support

So how does a wife lead? She leads by supporting her husband. Counterintuitive, isn’t it? Does this mean she brings home the bacon while her guy binges on Netflix? Oh dear Lord, no! A wife supports him by helping him become the strong-sacraficial-spiritual-servant-leader that God wants them to be. And one part of this is speaking the truth in love. You have a voice!

When a Husband Abuses His Role!

However, if you’re in an abusive relationship, God provides two primary ways to safety.

One way:

One is calling the authorities for protection and justice. If you believe you or your children are in danger, dial 911. God has provided you governing authorities and to the civil laws for your good.

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. Romans 13:1-2

Another way:

Get the church involved. Consider following Matthew 18 if your husband is in sin. Here’s a foundational text in Matthew:

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17

By faith believe God’s truth that when both spouses embrace God’s design, your marriage will begin to improve. If only one spouse embraces God’s design, you will still see improvement but more slowly.

But rejecting God’s design continues the spiral downward toward conflict and disunity. What you are going to learn in counseling is how to embrace God, each other, and healthy biblical leadership in your home.

There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, than a good marriage. –Martin Luther

Free Resource!

DOWNLOAD: Here’s a download that show you how to apply the 5 leadership keys to your marriage. Thank you to Biblical Counseling Center for developing this resource.

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