When you jump-roped on the school playground, secrets fluttered like butterflies.
“Hey, Suzie, guess which boy in class likes you?”
“Who?’
“I’m not suppose to tell you. It’s a secret.” The friend looks over her shoulder and whispers a name in Suzie’s ear.
“Really? He’s cute.”
FAST FORWARD TEN YEARS.
“Terri, you’ll never guess who got so drunk she did it with lots of guys at Sam’s party?”
“Who?”
“I really shouldn’t tell you. She wouldn’t want you to know.”
“C’mon, who?”
“Your sister.”
Every person has shameful secrets that she doesn’t want anyone to know.
The difference between secret and confidence is Grand Canyon huge. A confidence is a private matter that should be kept quiet. For instance, what you paid for your house is between you, the seller and the bank. Feel free to keep it private. A secret, however, may be shared appropriately. Underline appropriately.
Here’s an example.
Seeking guidance, a close friend shares with me that she suspects her teenage son is downloading pornography from the Internet. While it was OK for her to share her secret with me (because we are very close friends and she is emotionally hurt by the situation), I ask her if she has talked with her husband. She has not. I encourage her to talk with him, and together talk with their son. The family secret must get out in the open. The son needs help.
If your son or daughter has a friend who is suicidal, tell them it’s right to tell an adult and get help.
Keep a confidence, sweet sister. A dangerous secret? Tell someone who is trustworthy and who can help.
