This is a 3-part series on submission, marriage, God and the devil.
A child of divorce, I remember too well the yelling, door-slamming and cold silence in the years
before
my parents untied the knot.
Guilt
fear
and sadness tangled me up like seaweed.
What went wrong in their marriage? I DON’T KNOW. Name any ugly choice — which the Bible terms “sin” — and they probably were guilty. And so am I. So are you. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
As a kid I had thought, “If only I were a good little girl, they’d still be together. If only I brought home all A’s on my tests. . .If only I set the table on time. . .If only.
But I wasn’t responsible for their divorce. They were. It took me a long time to get this.
Curiously, divorce revisited me on the school playground when my eldest was 7 or 8 years old. As she and herfriend zoomed high, they giggled, “Married!” when the swings were side by side, and “Divorced!” when they see-sawed.
Together.
Not together.
Married.
Divorced.
Their game reminded me of the little song “Ring Around the Rosy,” a death ditty: Ashes, ashes we all fall down (from the bubonic plague).
We laughed as we toppled. Satan chuckles as marriage after marriage shatters. He chortles when another kid bites the dust.
Are you a child of divorce? How about your child(ren)?
The Lord has a word of comfort. As you read this Scripture ask Him to help you hear Him.
People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:15-17)
Remember these three things. sweet sister:
1. In a godly home, an argument sounds like, “I insist that you have your way.” Read this blog post.
2. Satan is out to destroy marriages and kill kids. Fight for yours.
3. Bless the children of divorce by supporting the custodial parent in any number of ways: babysitting for free, cleaning her house, doing minor repairs on her car, and listening to her hurts.
Especially listen. Ask any kid.
Lucy,
You’re so right on! I’m a child of divorce, too, and I daily fight for my marriage. My common prayer is, “Lord, don’t ever let me do anything to mess this up!” And sometimes I even pray specific things: let me never look at another man like that; let me never think badly of my spouse; protect my eyes and my mind; let me always know how to encourage him.
We do have to fight for our marriages! It’s not always easy. But I don’t know why people think divorce is easier than marriage. Custody is messy. Being away from your kids because they’re with your ex is not fun. Your children have so many more problems. Why not fight for your marriage now, while you still can?
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