Marianne felt lonely.
On the outside all looked fine. A great husband, two girls, vibrant and busy in an under-four-kind-of-way, a master’s in education, and the good looks of Jennifer Aniston. She read her Bible daily and went to church. Inside she hurt terribly. She didn’t know who to tell.
The women at church had it all together. Or so it seemed.
If we stop and look, we each will see hurting women in our churches. Are you among them?
If so, you are a “sheep” who has fallen down, a “very pathetic sight,” writes Philip Keller in A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23. “Lying on its back, its feet in the air, it flays away frantically struggling to stand up, without success. Sometimes it will bleat a little for help, but generally, it lies there lashing about in frightened frustration.”
To stand you need help. You need spiritual CPR: Care, Prayer, Repair.
Years ago, God gave me the passion to help hurting women who hurt. This passion led to my seminary studies to learn pastoral care to women. It led me to counsel women at my church with the Word. Later, I began counseling hurting women whom I met through Twitter and founded Real Hope Biblical eCounseling.
Step One: Care
What does spiritual care look like? A lot like the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37). You remember: On the road to Jericho, a man was beaten by robbers and left for dead. A priest saw him and walked on by. So did the next Jew. When a Samaritan (considered a despicable “half-breed” to Jews) saw him, he stopped and helped.
You have immediate needs. Groceries? A ride to a doctor’s appointment? Help figuring out which bill to pay next? Most important, do you need someone to listen. As someone listens to your pain, your healing begins. But listening is only the beginning.
Step Two: Prayer
Pray to our Lord Jesus, the Great Physician. Tell him your needs. Of course, he already knows. Praying will increase your connection to him. Ask him for wisdom concerning your next steps. The Holy Spirit will guide you. He wants you to experience his peace.
“I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27 NLT).
Step Three: Repair
Now identify your real pain. Often you need someone to help you do this. For example, when I asked Marianne, mentioned at the top, why she felt sad, she said she missed being in the workplace. Her real issue was much deeper; it involved believing God will never reject her.
Do you have junk from childhood? The death of a loved one, her parents’ divorce, a trauma like rape? Any of these can affect you now. Do you experience unforgiveness, worry, addiction and so on. These keep you caught in a downward spiral of negative emotions.
When Marianne and I shared iced tea in her backyard while our children played, she talked and I listened — a lot. I learned she had two major life transitions: she was newer to our community and she had left a job she loved. We talked many more times. Once she realized that these transitions — and her fear of rejection — had led to her mild depression she stopped fretting. She joined a moms’ group at church and contributed her gifts of leadership and drama.
God had not abandoned her as she feared. He brought her a friend who listened and cared. He provided direction through the Bible. Most of all, he gave her Jesus.
Do you need CPR for the soul? Just like Marianne and many other women I counsel biblically (by phone, typically) through Real Hope Biblical eCounseling? Send me an email and put “I want wholeness” in the subject line and get a session free. To check out more information on biblical counseling, go here.
