unwelcome change

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 27:3

Unwelcome change! Does it mess up your life too? What’s the best way to respond? 

As crazy as it sounds, when Mars changed the color lineup of its meltinyourmouth, notinyourhand candies many years ago, my safe little world got messy. My problem with the new and not improved M‘n’Ms had little to do with food dyes but what the color switch-a-roo symbolized: the aforementioned unwelcome change.

Does unwelcome change upend you too? Perhaps you love new things: you’re a roll-with-it chill kind of person. But most most people have a problem with change. Everything from a lost job or a new job to broken marriages, illness, and rebellious children — these and other unwelcome change create stress, negative thinking, and messy emotions.

In the trial of unwelcome change, however, God promises that nothing is impossible for him. You can and will plow through the unwelcome change and be better for it.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4, ESV

2 Step to Handling Unwelcome Change

Pausing is the first step in handling unwelcome change. If you’re a whirling dervish or you have racing thoughts, you cannot think straight.

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10a, ESV

Once you’ve paused, ask yourself two questions. The first is, What is the unwelcome change? You’d think this would be easy to identify. Sometimes it is. Sometimes you’ll need to stay still and hear God’s gentle voice in your heart.

Here are a few examples of unwelcome change. Which ones have touched your life? What would you add?

A parents’ divorce — “Who do I live with? Is it okay to miss my dad? Am I to blame?”

The new kid at school — “Will the other kids like me? I feel lonely. I feel excluded? Should I run away?”

A new baby — “I love my baby but why does she cry so much? Am I a horrible mom? The other moms make this look easy. What’s wrong with me?”

Depression or anxiety unravels a loved one — “I don’t how to help or what to say. Should I get help from a counselor? Will things get better?

A difficult memory resurfaces — “Did that really happen? Why I’m I feeling so bad?”

Your Emotions Flow from Your Beliefs

The second step is asking yourself, What emotion am I experiencing? Fear and anger typically head the list, but you may feel sad or numb or confused. Identifying your emotion(s) helps you understand your thoughts and your beliefs.

Did you know you feel what you feel because you think what you think? Thoughts are powerful.

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 27:3a, AMP

Whatever your emotions, jot yours thoughts in a paper or electronic journal at or near the time your emotion surfaced. An example: Let’s say you feel anxious. Jotting your thoughts reveal that you are concerned about your car’s brakes and how you’ll pay for the repair. Your jotted thoughts may read,

“The repair had better be cheap. Why did I buy that car in the first place? It’s nickeled and dimed us to death! I don’t have the money to repair it.”

Did you know that before you felt anxious, anxious thoughts ping-ponged in your brain?

Now that you’ve paused, identified the unwelcome change as well as your emotions and thoughts concerning it, it’s time to renew your thinking and line them up with God’s thoughts.

Resources for You!

DOWNLOAD: Here’s a free download from Biblical Counseling Center, where I’m on staff, to help you analyze your anger.

EBOOK: Order Transform Your Thoughts Journal. This ebook helps you change your thoughts and experience life change. Easy, fast download.

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