Is there life after divorce? Yes! There definitely is. 

No one needs to tell you divorce is a type of death. Your dreams cracked, and you feel broken. Shattered.

“Will I ever be happy?” a recently divorced woman asked me.

“Yes, as God fits together the pieces, and as you apply God’s Word to your life, you’ll experience a joy that’s deeper than circumstantial happiness,” I replied. “Do you want to get better?”

She twisted the tissue in her hands. “Yes.”

In this article, I’ll share hope and help in three significant ways:

    1. Identifying the ultimate cause of divorce
    2. Giving encouragement from divorced Christian women.
    3. Three tips toward wholeness after divorce.

Ultimate Cause of Divorce

The ultimate cause of divorce is sin. Sin is selfish, prideful, and misaligned with God’s written Word, that is, the Bible. In the Bible, God gives two legitimate grounds for divorce:

  • Unrepentant, sexual adultery. (Matthew 5:31, 19:9)
  • Desertion by an unbeliever. (1 Corinthians 7:15-16)

Even though these are legitimate grounds for divorce, God always meant for marriage to be for life. In Malachi 2:16, God says he hates divorce because it’s borne from sin and brings destruction.

In what ways have you experienced the effects of destruction? Have you received care or condemnation from your Christian friends? Remember, for Christians:

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1, ESV)

God doesn’t condemn you, dear friend, even though you and your ex sinned against each other. When God brings together two sinners in a marriage, guess what? They sin. God uses marriage to chip away at your character flaws–and his. Sometimes marital conflict seems unbearable, doesn’t it?

Could You Use Encouraging Words?

“I used to feel rejected,” Lana said. “That first year was unbearable. My sleep was awful and I couldn’t stop eating junk food.

A neighbor asked me over for coffee. This was a turning point.

“We talked and I began to see that it wasn’t just his fault. I was selfish too. My friend listened. I thank God for her.”

heart

“I went back to bed after I got the kids off to school,” Annie shared. “Life seemed black after the divorce. What kept me going were my kids and going to church on Sundays.

“I thought I went to church for them so they could be in Sunday School, but…

the worship songs melted my hardened heart.

“I began to look up again. It still hurts and money is still tight, but I have hope now.”

heart

“My husband was into porn,” Jess said. “I didn’t know about his addiction when we married. We talked to the pastor. Justin would stop for a while then I’d catch him at it again. I felt so numb, I didn’t know what to do. He said he didn’t want to hurt me so he divorced me.”

“I guess the good that came out of it was getting counseling and growing closer to the Lord.”

Three Tips Toward Wholeness

  1. Learn conflict resolution. A main reason for bitterness in marriage is failing to work through problems. Commit to speaking the truth in love to family members, coworkers, and people at church and in your neighborhood. When you speak the truth in love, you communicate your feelings lovingly and work toward a solution.
  2. Figure out what kindles your anger and fear. As your identify the thoughts that prompt your emotions you can change them. “Take every thought captive to obey Christ” (1 Corinthians 10:5).
  3. Cling to your identity in Christ. You are God’s beloved child. Get my 64-page eBook to savor the “5 Amazing Names God Calls You!”

Join the Conversation

How has divorced touched your life? Where did you find hope and healing?

AN OFFER: Get a free consultation! Great for any woman going through hurt or who has questions. Contact me now.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

lucy-signature-blue

Find GOD's Freedom from Anxiety

 Get My FREE Anxiety Helper Pack!

Choice is a wonderful gift from God. You do NOT have to be stuck in self-focused anxiety. You can find God’s freedom.

You have Successfully Subscribed!