Are Facebook friends real? Or do only in-real-life (IRL) friends count? Does it matter?
As our What Every Friend Needs series continues, this online friendship question is an important one. It also underscores
A scare-your-pants-off article in Newsweek hints that online friendships can harm you. Why? Spending time online — and thus sites like Facebook — may rewire your brain, resulting in loneliness, depression, even psychosis. Is this true?
Here is the view of another journalist who also looked at the scary research and takes a common-sense approach to spending time online.
What God Says
More important, what does God say about friendships? God says everyone needs a reliable friend who you can count on. Can you count on your Facebook friends? Some but not all? How do you know they’re reliable?
Here’s key advice.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
And more wisdom.
Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God —I say this to your shame. (1 Corinthians 15:33,34)
In Real Life Matters
Nothing beats a hug from a reach-out-and-touch friend in when have real hurts and need real hope.
Meeting up with Christian girlfriends is encouraged. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:24,25, NIV).
I think some online friends are VERY real. I have met some amazing women who have endured the same kind of parental abuse (by someone exhibiting NPD) as I have … they have been an amazing part of my healing and I know I have been part of theirs (as they’ve expressed it.) It depends if the online friendship is nourished and it flourishes. For me, having these women in my life, who I have never met in person, have proved to the most wonderful friends when so many ‘real life’ friends can’t and couldn’t even begin to understand the abuse I suffered or how hard its been for me to overcome and work toward wholeness. Very few of those close to me could relate to what I have been through – the only ones who could understand are those who have experienced abuse themselves on some level. I cherish those friendships … for always.
Lucy….our relationship is an example: We met on Facebook and I consider you a very good friend. We have talked on the telephone. During the time spent on the computer and telephone I have come to respect you and your ministry.
There is a group of mothers who have lost a child. We call ourselves SFC Moms. (Separated From Child) In our posts we laugh and cry, but we moms know the hurt and pain that each of us goes through everyday. Does not matter if our child died yesterday or 20 years ago….we are separated from that child. But we give each other hope that one day we will hug our child again in Heaven.
As a business woman I never had time to have girlfriends. So now at age seventy, I feel I can help some of these younger ladies find the hope that each of us needs to get through this walk on earth and to the other side. Amen