Bitterness: Find out what feeds it and the 4 keys to end it.
You can exchange bitterness for “better-ness,” says biblical counselor and teacher Sherry Allchin, M.A. Chances are you know the look of bitterness. It …
- sours your face, may raise your blood pressure, and contribute to other unwelcome physical ailments.
- wards off friends, coworkers, even family when you let it out.
- eats you up inside, turning you into a snap dragon.
What Is Bitterness?
Bitterness is anger under wraps. It’s testy, irritable, rude, and critical. It’s a disagreeable attitude swimming in biting, snarky comments, an attitude dripping self-righteousness and self-pity. Bitterness grows like black mold in the heart. Click & Tweet!
The writer of Hebrews said this about bitterness:
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. (Hebrews 12:15, ESV)
Cause of Bitterness
Bitterness has its roots in a wrong belief that your rights — real or perceived — have been stomped on and kicked across the room.
Rather than thanking God for a great husband who provided and protected our family, I held tight to prickly bitterness that began with a hurt and a wrong belief.
If you do not respond biblically to the hurt (this would involve forgiving the sin, overlooking the sin, or realizing the ‘offense’ was not wrong in God’s eyes) — you may begin to rehearse the offense in your mind, reviewing it over and over again. The practice of continually reviewing and imputing (charging your offender with the fault or the responsibility for) the offense violates 1 Corinthians 13:5 (‘love does not keep a running account of evil’). –Lou Priolo
My new right desire: Because the Lord is in control, good, and trustworthy, I submit to Christ’s rule in my life and want his plan because his plan brings God glory and is best.
The moment I replaced my wrong belief with a right belief, I exchanged bitterness for “betterment” and let go of the whole bitter mess. You can end bitterness too.
4 Keys to End Bitterness
First, name the hurt or wrong. What wrong belief did you cling to?
What is a right belief that replaces the wrong belief? Ask God to help you act on the right belief. How do you expect your actions to change?
When you choose a wrong desire based on a wrong belief, bitterness may result. God’s desire is for each of us to choose what he desires according to his plans and purposes.
It is true Lucy…. I had bitterness for so long about a man in our church. He had done my husband wrong and was a liar.
You see even in that one statement above I felt tightness in my chest and want to say more about this bad man.
It’s like yes I have forgiven him, but I think the Bible tells me I don’t have to ever be around him….We are in the same church and once in a while we come shoulder to shoulder… I will never make eye contact with him or say hi….
Guess I’m not in the betterness state yet?