When you use the “S” word among friends, you’ll get a lot of opinions. Which one is correct?
SUBMISSION. Say this S word and may hear snorts and see eyebrows rise. You know what some are thinking: Submit? Me? You’ve lost your brain.
And yet. . .
God commands us to submit to Him and to one another, with additional emphasis on wives.
You may have heard this verse quoted, word by word, sometimes pridefully, sometimes timidly, and only occasionally with proper use:
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)
Two similar verses pop up in Ephesians.
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)
“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24)
A Timely Message
Whether you’re married, single or single again, this message is for you. The battle of the sexes, especially in our homes, endears us women to the devil, who loves marriage redefined — you know, guy with guy, gal with gal — but also destroyed.
Husbands, Love
While many can quote the “wives submit” verses, fewer remember its counterparts:
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives, as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:28)
Women: submit. Men: love.
Both husband and wife are called to self-sacrifice. Look at the word the apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, selected for love: agape in the Greek. This self-sacrificing kind of love isn’t about sex or affection or brotherly kindness. It is the kind that lays down one’s life for the other.
It looks a lot like. . .submission.
As a Bible study author astutely pointed out, an argument in such a home would sound like,
“I insist that you have your way.”
“No, no, really, I insist you have your way.”
Imagine the tone of your arguments, if each tried to out-sacrifice the other. Imagine the number of marriages that would flourish. Imagine kids learning from their moms and dads how to lovingly treat their future mates. Just imagine. . .and try it in your own marriage.
Sharing Hope for Your Heart,
Thankyou for touching on a subject so many take out of context, or use it wrong to subdue women in church. I have seen pastors and others use submission without the whole concept that men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and as his own body! In the same token its not an I will submit if my husband does issue. We as women need to lead by example even if our husbands are not submitting we still need to!
Thank you for your insights, Amanda. Understanding this command to submit can be tough. Wives ought to submit to their husbands, and husbands ought to love their wives. In fact, women WANT to submit to husbands who love them (and thus have the best interest of wives as their compelling motivation.
As you’ve seen, this verse has been misused — sad but true — to “keep women in line.” One woman I counseled years ago faced this at her church and in her home. . .she felt intense stress and was falling into depression. Thankfully, with loving and biblically honest illumination of the Word and with the support of her family (who lived several states away), God strengthened her. Under the leadership of her new church, she slowly reconciled with her husband, who also sought biblical counsel.
Praise God! Theirs is a true Valentine’s Day story.
Blessings to you and your family, Amanda.
Fantastic insight..thank you for sharing Lucy ! I have seen this scripture misused so many times to justify dominating behavior. That was not what GOD intended. We need the BIG picture. Well done !!!
Thank you, Cindy. Yes, this scripture has been misused, sadly. God wants the best for our marriages, so the doormat scenario was never God’s intention. He values wives. He values husbands. 🙂