teen

Teaching your teen to love God is among your most important jobs, isn’t it? And it’s tough. It can also be gratifying and wonderful and amazing!

Before long, your teen or preteen will graduate high school and be at college or in the workforce or Armed Forces. But maybe he’ll waste hour after hour playing Special Ops and trashing your basement.

Be encouraged, Christian mom, the Lord has equipped you to teach your teen well. He has given you the Bible, a “handbook” to solving life’s problems (2 Peter 1:7). He is with you, guiding you. He loves you and your teen. God never lets go.

This article is the second in a four-part series on teaching your children. The first one focused on younger kids, the next one looks at young adults, and the last one on you, the parent. If you’re married, why not share these articles with your husband?

The goal: to encourage and equip you

with help and hope for your heart!

3 Quick Helps for Moms

  1. Agree with the truth God requires you to obey and apply it. “Bring (your children) up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4, ESV

2. See the teenage years as a time of opportunity.

3. Be wise not naive. “So be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:16

From ‘Perfect Family’ to Rebellion!

Jim Newheiser, a pastor and executive director at The Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship, shares a story of his eldest son. Barely 18, he told his parents on home visit that he no longer believes in God and was dating a Buddhist girl.

Then the youngest brother, age 13, rebelled too. He informed his parent he no longer wanted to be homeschooled. He desired to attend public school and be “normal.” Can you imagine the parents’ shock?

Has your teen or preteen shocked you too? Do her friends seem sketchy? Does he say “whatever” when you mention Jesus? Has she become a proclaimed atheist or a well-behaved “Pharisee” whose heart is far from God?

In When Good Kids Make Bad Choices, Newheiser reveals,

“We wondered if our sons’ rebellion was our fault. Did our kids turn away from the Lord because we failed to live for the Lord as we should? . . .Can we hope our rebellious children will eventually come back to the truth when they are older?”

Among the statements I’ve heard in my counseling office:

  • My daughter used to be such a good kid.
  • I’ve tried everything. I don’t know what else to do.
  • Do you think God is punishing me?

Not Just Hormones

Sure, hormones are raging, but something deeper is going on in the heart of a rebellious teen:

failure to fear the Lord.

The teen is choosing his way over God’s will. You’ve heard the familiar Bible verse, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from up” (Proverbs 22:6). Doesn’t this sound like a promise? That good parenting guarantees good kids? And that teens who stray from the Lord will return to Christ?

But the truth is, proverbs are maxims that describe how God has made the world to work, generally speaking. The authors of When Good Kids Make Bad Choices say the Bible teaches three factors, not just one, that determine how kids turn out:

PARENTS: Parents are responsible to honor the Lord and obey his Word in training their children, from infancy to teenage years.

CHILDREN, PRETEENS, AND TEENS: They are responsible to honor their parents and the Lord by responding in obedience.

THE LORD: He sovereignly rules over the lives of parents, children, and teens, and he directs them according to his good purposes.

Keep Your Focus of God

When your teen snaps at you or shuts herself in her room or refuses to do his chores or (you fill in the blank), you may feel like giving up. Fear overwhelms. Anger nips at your heels.

May I encourage you to keep your heart filled with truth about God?

His truth is hope.

You may want to turn inward and focus on yourself and your problems with your teen. Please don’t. Instead, look upward to the Lord, the one who has the real answer, who has given you an opportunity to grow spiritually.

Count it al joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

Resources for Parents of Teens

Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp

Getting a Grip: The Heart of Anger Handbook by Lou Priolo

Growing in Wisdom: A Bible Study in Proverbs for Fathers and Sons by Dr. Ron Allchin, D.Min.

When Good Kids Make Bad Choices by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,

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