Think About Your Thoughts

Think About Your Thoughts

Jennifer asked me how to change her thoughts. She had spiraled deep into discouragement and wanted to feel like her old self: upbeat, positive, happy. “This isn’t me,” she shared. “I keep thinking negatively about everything over and over and over. I don’t know how to stop.”

In this article, you learn three new ways to think about your thoughts and learn how to stop life-sapping thinking:

  1. Ask yourself if your thoughts glorify God.
  2. Change the thoughts he wants you to change
  3. Take every thought captive.

1. Ask Yourself an Important Question

What you say to yourself matters. What you think becomes who you are. You want to think well, don’t you? Then you need to ask if your thoughts glorify God.

Words kill, words give life;

they’re either poison or fruit–

you choose. Prov. 18:21

A helpful place to begin is writing down your thoughts in a small, spiral notebook that’s easy to carry with you. When a negative thought pops up, write it down and note what was happening around the time of the thought. Do this for about three days. Don’t concern yourself with changing your thoughts at first. The point is to become aware of them.

You may become aware of thoughts you didn’t even know you were thinking!

Do you say one of these uglies to yourself?

Very often women silently tell themselves things like:

  • I’m such an idiot.
  • No one likes me.
  • I’m ugly.
  • I can’t do anything right.

Did you have any of these thoughts?

Practical help: Review your list of thoughts. Which are the most common ones? When did you tend to have them? Are they glorifying to God? Jennifer had most of her automatic, negative thoughts in the morning before she got out of bed and asked God to show them to her. She wrote out Psalm 139:1-2:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24 

Like Jennifer, you can ask yourself whether your thoughts are glorifying to God.

2. Change Your Thoughts

Which thoughts is God nudging you to change? Not sure? You could measure your thoughts by the instruction of Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Jennifer noted that one of her recurring thoughts was, “I’m never going to get better.” This thought is in opposition to “whatever is true.” As a Christian, Jennifer is promised by God to become more and more like Jesus Christ, who says “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10b). This process is called “progressive sanctification.”

When she told herself this life-killing lie, her discouragement worsened. Has this happened to you too? Sadly, negative thinking begets negative emotions. Conversely, says Brian S. Borgman in Feelings and Faith, “Right thinking about God produces and cultivates godly emotions such as peace, joy confidence, and hope.”

You keep him in perfect peace
    whose mind is stayed on you,
    because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

Practical step: Measure your thoughts against Phil. 4:8 and ask God which one you need to change.

3. Take Every Thought Captive

God wants you to walk in the truth. You Enemy has a game plan to get you to believe lies — lies about yourself, about your circumstances, and about the Gospel.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

To take every thought captive to obey Christ, you need to replace the lies with the truth. Go through the list of thoughts you wrote down. For each one that is not true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, or commendable, find a Bible verse that replaces the lie with the truth. Jot down the Bible verses you’ve found on index cards or sticky notes.

Yes, it is work to find life-giving Bible verses and write them on card or notes but well worth it. Do you think that looking up verses isn’t worth the effort? Do you have other obstacles? What are they? Why not discuss them with a trusted Christian friend?

2 examples to get you get you started.

Life-sapping thought: God doesn’t love me. He doesn’t care.

Life-giving truth:For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

Life-sapping thought: Life must go well for me. If it doesn’t, this proves I’m a worthless loser.

Life-giving truth:Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13.

Practical help: Each time your have a negative, life-sapping thought, read the index card or sticky note you made with the life-giving truth. As you repeat this process of taking every thought captive to obey Christ, you will discover that the negative thoughts diminish in frequency and power.

This was Jennifer’s discovery. As she read John 10:10 each time she thought “I’m never going to get better,” she noticed that she thought it less often and she experienced hope and joy. She’s applying the same process to other life-sapping thoughts she has. Her discouragement if lifting. She’s beginning to feel like her old self.

And it all began with thinking about her thoughts. Do you want to replace your negative thoughts too? May I invite you to contact me? We can set up a time to talk on the phone for a free 15-minute consult. I also have a downloadable ebook you make like — “Transform Your Thoughts Journal.”

Stop Food Cravings and Glorify God

Stop Food Cravings and Glorify God

Food cravings can come on quick, right? You’re driving along singing to KLOVE or whataver, and out of nowhere food cravings strike.You may crave a Snickers or chips or a Ding Dong. Or you may crave strawberries!

And up the road a 7-Eleven beckons.

In this short article, let’s look at…

  1. Biological food cravings versus emotional food cravings
  2. A biblical solution to food cravings

Choose Your Choice 

So what should you do when hit by food cravings?

A. Try your very, very best to ignore them.

B. Proceed to the 7-Eleven and get the goodies..

Well, it depends! Biological food cravings differ from emotional food cravings. It’s wise to fill the biological kind because your body needs what is craves. Just think of how delicious a glass of water is when you are super thirsty. So when you fulfill this type of craving, you’ll think and feel better. But fight the temptation of emotional food cravings. If you cave, you’ll feel worse, and you’ll miss out on God’s best too.

So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Biological or Emotional?

Here’s a simple what to tell whether your food cravings are biological or emotional:

When you have a biological food craving and fulfill it, you feel nourished. And it doesn’t take much food to meet such a need either. One bagel, a wedge or two of low-fat cheese, or a couple of chocolates–that’s it.

But emotional food cravings aren’t about food. Giving in is an attempt to meet a need apart from God. That’s right: An emotional eater looks for comfort in food. Sometimes it follows “I’m a loser” self-talk.

Solution to Food Cravings

The good news is by obeying and trusting God, you can have victory over food cravings.

You make this break when you begin desiring what God desires and, with God’s help, change your heart. His power helps you make good and godly food choices, straighten out your thinking on food, and practice, practice, practice. A great resource for we who mess up — and this is all of us, right? — is Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by biblical counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick.

God wants you to live life based on truth, not emotions. The truth of who he is. The truth of who you are. His truth is sure.

But our emotions go up and down like an elevator. Now emotions are fine; God gave them to us. Just be sure you don’t let them yank your around. Rather, live out truth.

7 Quick Stop-Craving Tips

Here’s truth talk on healthy eating. Yes, you’ve heard it before … except maybe the last one … but it’s the best.

  1. Choose water over coffee and soda pop.
  2. Shrink your portions by using smaller plates.
  3.  Limit your consumption of sugar.
  4.  Skip foods with ingredients you cannot pronounce.
  5.  Sit down during meals.
  6. Eat slowly.
  7.  Remember eating becomes sacred when it becomes worship.

Remember the Bible verse I mentioned? So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Let it guide your choices.

And when you do, then everything — from washing dishes and sweeping floors to writing blog posts to selling  — can be worship. As long as you line up your thoughts with God’s, the simplest things become sacred.

And so it is with food.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

 

Are You Telling Yourself the Truth?

Are You Telling Yourself the Truth?

Are you telling the truth? This question invites us to consider the validity of our thoughts and to replace the lies we silently tell ourselves with life-giving truth.

Have you noticed this phenomenon and do you believe the lies you tell yourself? Such as:

“I’m not good enough.”

“Ugly. . .that’s me.”

“Idiot, idiot, idiot.”

“No one cares.”

“You’ll never change.”

Sound familiar? We women bash ourselves, don’t we? You. Me. Everyone. An article in The Atlantic estimates that we say thousands upon thousands of words and phrases to ourselves each day. And often what we say about ourselves isn’t true.

Why do we do this? And how can we stop?

The Reason We Lie

Verbal-bashing began long ago. You may recall the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible. All was perfect in the garden until Satan in the form of a serpent slithered on the scene and spoke a lie to Eve, and she believed him. His lie:

You shall not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it [a tree that God had said was off-limits] your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. Genesis 3:4-5

She believed her enemy, chopped the fruit, and died. Not immediately, but eventually. And she doubted God’s goodness. Shame filled her. Then she and Adam sewed fig leaves to cover up.

When I lie to myself, I am believing my enemy. You too.

A lie I used to tell myself A LOT: “You’re defective, Lucy.” Thankfully, I finally listened to God while in a pit of despair and agreed with him that I am precious. I am precious because he says so.

Begin Speaking Truth

What lies do you tell yourself about yourself? Would you like to replace the lies with the truth about you. And this truth is beautiful, sweet sister.

So here’s how to start telling yourself the truth. These two steps are simple to remember. This is the good part. But if you have a habit pattern of repeating lies to yourself, then you’ll need to have an action plan and enact it.

1. Recognize the lies you say to yourself.

2. Replace the lies with the truth.

In my example of “You’re defective, Lucy,” I replaced this lie with the truth, “God says you’re precious … because you’re his child.” Every time I spoke the “you’re defective” lie to my soul, I then spoke the truth. Over time I caught my lie more and more quickly, and replaced it ASAP. Soon I very rarely said this lie to myself.

So speak the truth about youself. And keep on identifying more lies and replace them with truth. Soon you’ll notice you’ll speak truth in love to yourself and to the people God has put in your path. Your family, your friends, the dog sitter, the Walmart cashier, a stranger.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
    be acceptable in your sight,
    Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

COUNSELING BY SKYPE/FACETIME

Lucy has Skype-counseled women and families throughout the United States and the world, including China, Germany, the UK, Sweden, Paraguay, and Australia. Read more about biblical counseling in general as well as important information on Skype/Facetime counseling.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

BELIEVE God You Have God’s Favor Now

favorDo you want God’s favor?

Here’s a big encouragement I hope you embrace with all your being.

Lots of Christian women think to get God’s favor they must be good. You know, follow the Ten Commandments, read the Bible and pray daily, attend church weekly, and do nice things like feed the homeless.

The truth: Every genuine Christian has God’s favor now. You need not “get” it because you’ve “got” it. The word favor nearly synonymous with blessing?

Ephesians 1:3 says this:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.

Did you catch the phrase “every spiritual blessing”? If you have every spiritual blessing now, can you get more? 

Choose to Believe God

The way, then, to receive God’s favor — his blessing! — is simple and profound: “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved” (Acts 16:30-31). What do you need to believe? If you are not a Christian you need to believe you need help. Self-effort isn’t enough. Relying on a self-improvement book keeps you chained to a hamster wheel, running and running and going nowhere.

Instead, trust that Christ has done for you what you are cannot do: live a perfectly holy life.

If you are a Christian who has lost her way, then I invite you to read, even memorize, a biblical truth we at Biblical Counseling Center have framed in our offices and typed on our counseling materials:

Faith is believing the Word of God

and acting upon it,

no matter how I feel,

knowing God promises a good result.

Often the women, couples and families I counsel are Christians but are thinking and acting like unbelievers.

Many have let the world’s belief systems infiltrate their thinking, beliefs and motivations. They’re hurting and want relief. God gives them something better: peace and contentment in Christ in all circumstances. Here are two pictures of women who believed.

Rahab the Harlot and Favor

A prostitute in Jericho hid spies under flax on rooftop. Brave, this woman, this harlot. Brave, this believer in the one true God. A scarlet cord danging from her window attested to her belief and saved her life and the lives of her family when the Jericho walls fell in.

Do you think God can love sex-tainted women? Or women with a past, whatever the past? Perhaps abortion, adultery, promiscuity or pornography?

Isn’t it wonderful that God is bigger than the mistakes you’ve made?

The Rejected Samaritan Woman and Favor

Many times married and living with a guy, this woman was an outcast among outcasts. Fetching water midday, scorching sun high, she met Jesus at Jacob’s well and became an evangelist. This Jesus, he spoke truth, he showed compassion, and she was changed. A new creation, embraced by God Most High. She told the townsfolk who had shunned her.

Do you know the sting of disappointment and rejection? Remember middle school? The insecurity?

When you believe Jesus, you experience peace and contentment now. Sure, you still make bad choices and bad things happen will upend you. Yet you and I can rest in knowing God loves you . . .

more than wildflowers

and sparrows

even angels

because He Is Love. 

COUNSELING HOPE: I encourage you to contact me and we can chat briefly by phone or email and see how biblical counseling might help you and give you hope. Stop by my counseling page for answers to questions you may have.

Counseling Hope to Your Heart,

God’s Peace Plan: P.R.A.Y.

planPEACE PLAN: Remember the spunky Miss Clara in the movie War Room? She narrates: “We fight for power. We fight for riches. And we fight for rights. We fight for freedom. There always seems to be something to fight about.” Yet. . .

“Very few of us know how to fight the right way.”

In this post, war-roomI’ll outline a simple, Spirit-inspired peace plan to pray. Miss Clara prayed in her closet she calls her “war room” and taught Elizabeth, played by Priscilla Shirer, to speak fervently with God about her crumbling marriage.

Is your marriage in trouble? Are your emotions out of control? Is your teen making poor choices? Are you ill? In financial duress? Brokenhearted?

God has a peace plan for the war you’re in. Prayer is your battle cry!

God’s Peace Plan

It’s a four-letter word: P.R.A.Y.

Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in EVERYTHING, by PRAYER and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God.” Phil. 4:6

Read this familiar verse again. Then think on it. Now do what it says: P.R.A.Y. This is your peace plan!

P: Praise

Begin with praise. Praising God puts your mind where it need to be: focused on God. He is the One who not only created to universe, but also knows your hurts and deeply cares.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 1 John 4:16, NIV

R: Repent

To repent is to change your mind and line up your thoughts with God’s thoughts. Repentance is a gift from God, and I’ve noticed in counseling, those who repent make lasting, positive, godly changes the quickest.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

A: Ask

The Lord invites you to approach him confidently and share what’s on your heart. This is part of deepening your relationship with him. He promises to give you all that is good.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:2

Y: Yield

As you pray, believing that God can handle your problems, your faith will increase, and you’ll become calm and confident.

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! Hebrews 12:9

Go ahead, PRAY. I will too. Tell me how it goes.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses are comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:7

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,

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