Abortion: Finding Healing at Your Church

by Lucy | Sep 8, 2016 | biblical counseling, emotions, relationships | 4 comments

Abortion stories are very rarely shared in most churches today.

Christian women are far more likely to admit depression or anxiety, a rebellious kid, or a troubled marriage.

One reason Christian women don’t talk their abortions is fear of condemnation from other Christians. Click & Tweet!

Last year’s undercover videos of Planned Parenthood got everyone talking about the horrific selling baby parts after abortion. It set social media on fire. My heart hurt as I heard of the sale of livers and kidneys and craniums.

And my heart hurts. . .for the women and girls who’ve had abortions.

I am privileged to know Tiffany Stuart, a blogger and a wonderful women who shares her abortion story at Tea with Tiffany. God is using her ministry to educate women and to bring healing to those who’ve ended their pregnancies and feel horrible, empty, numb, angry, depressed, and unforgivable. Her voice offers healing words.

It Could Happen to Anyone

Lynn was just 17. College bound. A steady boyfriend. And a missed period, then another.

Did you know that every year in the U.S., there are roughly 1 million abortions? 1.5 percent of abortions are pregnancies from rape or incest. Lynn’s boyfriend drove her to the clinic and paid for the abortion.

“I’m so scared,” she confided to me. (Names have been changed.)

We were close friends, Lynn and me. After “it” was over, we never spoke of her abortion. Like it never happened. Back then I had believed the “right to choose” propaganda, and if an abortion was right for Lynn, then fine. Just get it over with and move on right? Right?

If it were that easy, why did we never speak of it again? Ever. Were we. . .

Ignorant?

Ashamed?

Prideful?

I didn’t know then what I know now: Women who have abortions are in desperate need of emotional and spiritual healing.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV)

Honestly, if I had known the devastation to women, I would not have helped my friend get an abortion. In fact, I would have yelled, screamed, laid down in front of her car, anything but stay silent.

The workers at Planned Parenthood had told Lynn that her unborn baby was a blob of tissue.

They are wrong. She was wrong. I was wrong. We know better now, don’t we?

Breaking the Silence in Churches

If you want to help make your church a safe place to share painful secrets of abortion, start with prayer. Ask God to bring a hurting woman into your life. If you’ve had an abortion, ask God to send you a compassionate woman whom you can trust.

Here are warm words for compassionate friends and hurting women.

Dear compassionate friend, the hurting woman won’t tell you her pain at first. She needs to know she can trust you. She needs to know you won’t condemn her.

The Bible says,

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1, NIV)

Dear hurting woman, are you afraid to tell a friend about your abortion? If you haven’t experienced healing, you need to reach out. Do you feel nervous or angry around babies and children?  Sorrowful? This sorrow may show up as uncharacteristic silence. These are signs you need healing.

Dear compassionate friend, offer her hope. She must learn that nothing can separate her from God’s love. Show her this verse in the Bible:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39, NIV)

Dear hurting woman, you’ll find peace when you reconcile with God, with yourself and with others. If you haven’t already, talk with God and agree with him that you made a bad decision. Ask for his forgiveness. He will give it to you. At Calvary Jesus paid for all of your sins–past, present and future. However, you do not need to forgive yourself. No where in Scripture are we commanded to do this. God’s forgiveness is all that matters.

Dear compassionate friend, help the hurting woman reconcile with others when possible by speaking the truth in love to people who had a role in the abortion. They may have sinned against her, or she against them. Guide her in these difficult conversations.

Dear hurting woman, do you need a healing way to remember your loss? If you desire, write a poem or draw or sculpt, or memorize a scripture verse, to remember God’s loving-kindness toward you.

If anyone reading these words had an abortion, may you wrap yourself is the truth that God loves you and is for you. Why not talk with him? He’s waiting with open, gentle arms.

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Sharing Hope with Your Heart,