7 Lies About Submission

submission

SUBMISSION? Use this S word among girlfriends in church or on a night out and toes curl.

Many people misunderstand what the Bible means when it says that wives are to “be submissive” to their husbands. This includes many married women I’ve counseled.

Forever I’ll remember the panicked call from a friend whose former college roommate fled her West Coast home, very pregnant and with two little ones in tow. The former roommate and I soon talked by phone. Through sobs the story came out:

Her Christian husband demanded that she “obey” his every word and threated her with physical harm.

Fearing for her children’s safety and her own sanity, she packed bags and drove east toward her childhood home.

Do you have a handle on the real meaning of submisison? Has someone use care about used this word against you in order to manipulate you or shame you?

For this article, I turned to Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem for answers and discovered 7 lies about submision I share with your. Read 1 Peter 3:1-7 here and the 7 below. My prayer is for you to understand God’s plan for marriage and to learn common abuses over submission, like the one my pregnant counselee had encountered.

Lie 1: Put Your Huband in the Place of Christ 

Christ is always first. 1 Peter 2:21 says,

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men (1 Peter 2:13).

Rather, look to Christ and follow him.

Lie 2: Never Try to Influence Your Husband

You should influence your husband, wisely and winsomely. For instance, a wife whose husband is an unbeliever ought to win him over (to Christian faith) “without words by their behavior”–pure and reverent.

Lie 3: Stop Thinking for Yourself

Peter speaks directly to wives in 1 Peter 3:1-6, not to the husbands. He wants them to think about God’s Word and apply it to their lives. My former counselee who had put a safe distance between her and her husband reported that he told her what she should think. She wasn’t allowed to think for herself. Have you received a similar edict from your husband?

Lie 4: Give in to Your Husband’s Demands  

When a husband demands that a wife sin, she must say “no” to her huband. Her refusal to sin lines up with Peter’s command to have proper conduct among unbelievers:

Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Lie 5: You Are Less Competent Than Your Husband

This is another lie. In fact, some wives have far greater spiritual insight than husbands. This is certainly true when a Christian wife is married to an unbelieving spouse. She has the Holy Spirit dwelling within her. He does not.

Lie 6: Submission Means Wives Should Fear

On the contrary, Peter says wives should not “give way to fear” (verse 6). The instruction for husbands to respect their wives as “the weaker partner” has nothing to do with a woman’s lack of courage when endangered.

Lie 7: Submission Means Wives Are ‘Less Than’

Jesus submitted to God the Father, and he has dignitity and honor. A wife’s submission to her husband is similiar to Christ’s submission to the Father; they have equal importance.

What Submission Means

“Be submissive to your husbands” (verse 1) basically means that a wife willingly affirms the leadership of the husband. It doesn’t mean she’s a doormat or has no say or lacks value. Rather,

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives, as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28)

Both the husband and wife are called to self-sacrifice. Look at the word the apostle Paul selected for love. It is agape in the Greek. This self-sacrificing kind of love isn’t about sex or affection or brotherly kindness. It is the kind that lays down one’s life for the other.

As a Bible study author astutely pointed out, an argument in a home where a husband loves his wife and she submits to his leadership might sound like,

“I insist that you have your way.”

“No, no, really, I insist you have your way.”

Just imagine that was the tone of your arguments, with the husband trying to out-sacrifice his wife and the wife trying to out-submit her husband. Just imagine the number of marriages that would thrive. The kids too.

I encourage you to read Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood for yourself. It sheds light on many Scripture passages that have confused men and women, leading to clarity in the roles of husband and wife in the home, church, and personal life.

Let us live in harmony with one another, as God intends.

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,

lucy-signature-blue

What Submission Should Look Like!

marriageWhen you use the “S” word among friends, you’ll get a lot of opinions. Which one is correct?

SUBMISSION. Say this S word  and may hear snorts and see eyebrows rise. You know what some are thinking: Submit? Me? You’ve lost your brain.

And yet. . .

God commands us to submit to Him and to one another, with additional emphasis on wives.

You may have heard this verse quoted, word by word, sometimes pridefully, sometimes timidly, and only occasionally with proper use:

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)

Two similar verses pop up in Ephesians.

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24)

A Timely Message

Whether you’re married, single or single again, this message is for you. The battle of the sexes, especially in our homes, endears us women to the devil, who loves marriage redefined — you know, guy with guy, gal with gal — but also destroyed.

Husbands, Love

While many can quote the “wives submit” verses, fewer remember its counterparts:

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives, as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:28)

Women: submit. Men: love.

Both husband and wife are called to self-sacrifice. Look at the word the apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, selected for love: agape in the Greek. This self-sacrificing kind of love isn’t about sex or affection or brotherly kindness. It is the kind that lays down one’s life for the other.

It looks a lot like. . .submission.

As a Bible study author astutely pointed out, an argument in such a home would sound like,

“I insist that you have your way.”

“No, no, really, I insist you have your way.”

Imagine the tone of your arguments, if each tried to out-sacrifice the other. Imagine the number of marriages that would flourish. Imagine kids learning from their moms and dads how to lovingly treat their future mates. Just imagine. . .and try it in your own marriage.

Sharing Hope for Your Heart,

 

The S Word! Submit to Your Hubby. . .or Not?

This is a 3-part series on submission, marriage, God and the devil.

couple-and-flowersSUBMIT. Use this S word in church-y circles or even at Wal-Mart, and you may hear this verse quoted, word by word, sometimes pridefully, sometimes timidly, and only occasionally with proper use.

It is among the best known verses in the Bible. Here goes:

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)

Two similar verses pop up in Ephesians.

“Wives, submit to your hubands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24)

Hit Pause. Like now.

Whether you’re married, single or single again, this message is for you. The battle of the sexes, especially in our homes, endears us mortals to the devil, who not only wants marriage redefined — you know, guy with guy, gal with gal. . .maybe even guy with gorilla. . .Barak Obama and far left judges have opened Pandora’s box — but also destroyed, along with the couples’ innocent children. If you have a kid or were a kid, read on.

OK, hit Play.

While many can quote the “wives submit” verses, few remember its counterparts, one in Colossians, two in Ephesians.

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives, as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:28)

The command the apostle Paul chose for women: submit. For men, love.

Hmm. Submit and love. It this unfair? shortsighted? out of wack?

Are women suppose to obey? Be doormats?

No!

Rather, both the husband and wife are called to self-sacrifice. Look at the word the apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, selected for love. It is agape in the Greek. This self-sacrificing kind of love isn’t about sex or affection or brotherly kindness. It is the kind that lays down one’s life for the other.

It looks alot like. . .submission.

The wife is to submit and the husband to sacrifice.

As a Bible study author astutely poined out, an argument in such a home would sound like,

“I insist that you have your way.”

“No, no, really, I insist you have your way.”

Wow. Just imagine that was the tone of your arguments, each trying to out-sacrifice (the man) or out-submit (the woman) the other. Just imagine the number of marriages that would not only survive and thrive. The kids too.

You Are Loved, Lucy

P.S. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to this blog. Lots of awesome info on the way to help you find solutions to life’s troubles. Also add your smiling face to Google Friend Connect too. Much obliged. 🙂

Find GOD's Freedom from Anxiety

 Get My FREE Anxiety Helper Pack!

Choice is a wonderful gift from God. You do NOT have to be stuck in self-focused anxiety. You can find God’s freedom.

You have Successfully Subscribed!