by Lucy | Jul 20, 2017 | biblical counseling, emotions, relationships
Anger: Some women bottle it up; others let it blow. The important question: What’s the best way to handle anger?
You’ve experienced anger, haven’t you? We all have. The reasons for anger outnumber summer dandelions. Like a dandelion, it has a root. Just as weeding can rid dandelions from your yard, you can learn the best way to let go of your anger.
In this article, you’ll get these two practical helps to grow hope in your soul:
- Identify 3 main reasons for anger.
- Discover the how to zap anger at its root.
The last thing you want is a place for the devil. The word devil come from the Greek diabolos, which means “one who makes malicious false statements; a false accuser; a slanderer.” It is the a title for Satan.
His main goal is to deceive people, including Christians. He wants to convince you to reject the truth and believe lies.
‘In your anger do not sin.’ Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV)
Reasons for Anger
Hurt: Tami’s husband is MIA — “in the worst way,” she says. “He’s here but not here. I’m so hurt I could scream.” After dinner, he disappears into his man cave, where he reclines in a La-Z-Boy and flips cable channels. He has next-to-know conversation with Tami or their two young school-aged children during the evening. She cleans up after dinner, helps with homework, and gets them ready for bed — and seethes.
A normal response to a hurt is anger. When hurt, do you stuff your anger? Do you yell or slam doors?
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Lack of control. When your life gets squirmy, you may feel out of control and angry.
“What are you? Stupid?” Suzanne yelled into her cell. Her teenage son had forgotten to pick up his little brothers from soccer practice. A single mom, she depends on her eldest for help. Her mocking putdown reveals her feelings of lack of control. She didn’t get what she wanted so she got angry.
Can you think something you got that you didn’t want? Perhaps a parking ticket? A poor performance review? A snub from a friend? What was your emotion?
Godly indignation. Sometimes — but not often, if we’re honest — you and I feel anger when we hate what God hates. God hates hypocrisy. He hates evil. God hates the trafficking of children. God experiences anger yet never sins. His anger is holy.
Here’s a scene in the Bible where Jesus displays anger:
Jesus goes into the synagogue on a Sabbath where there were Pharisees and a man with a withered hand and “looked around at them [the Pharisees] in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus” (Mark 5:6).
What’s something you hate that God hates? Does it make you angry? This is godly indignation.
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How to Kill Anger
Hold on to your godly indignation and let it propel you to good — this is holy anger. My husband and I hate the suffering of families in poverty. Our anger has led us to support a child through World Vision and to organize a food drive to stock a local food pantry. But. . .
Uproot ungodly anger. It ends up hurting you and the people around you.
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It also grieves the Spirit (Ephesians 4:30).
Unresolved anger can become bitterness that poisons your relationships and you. The sure “cure” for anger is forgiveness. Let’s look at forgiveness from two angles.
When you’ve been wronged, you can become angry and sin. Or you can choose forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t easy. It costs you. It cost God (Colossians 3:13). When you forgive someone, you no longer hold the person’s sin against them. Forgiving doesn’t excuse their behavior or pretends the wrong never happened. However, you choose to let it go.
Your also deal with your hurt in a godly manner. It is wise for Tami and Suzanne to seek God’s perspective and determine to obey the Word in spite of how they feel. Both women need to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) to their family members.
Tami could let her husband know how his disappearing act hurts her and the family. She can be confident that God will work in her husband’s heart, convicting him of his need to ask forgiveness (2 Timothy 3:16). Suzanne could lovingly remind her son that she counts on him to help out and if he’s unable to follow through on his commitment than he needs to let her know so she can make alternate arrangements.
In addition, Tami needs to ask her husband’s forgiveness. She has anger toward her husband that she need to confess. Suzanne needs to ask her son’s forgiveness too. Angry words cut like a knife.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)
3 Parts of a Message
Did you know that the words you say are just one part of your communication? Your body language and your tone of voice make up a far larger part of your message than your words. Would you believe that they account for more than 90 percent of your message? This is an essential you need to know — that I need to remember too — in all of our relationships.
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Sharing hope with your heart,
by Lucy | Aug 11, 2016 | biblical counseling |
When life becomes a battle, you need sturdy shoes.
Forget high heels. Lace up sturdy shoes to stand strong in tough times.
In this short article, you’ll discover:
- The real battle is spiritual.
- 3 part of the shoes you need.
The Real Battle Is Spiritual
Ephesians 6 employs the metaphor of a battle-ready soldier. On his feet are heavy, military shoes. He’d slip and fail if he wore flip flops or went barefoot.
Stand therefore. . .(wearing) shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. (Ephesians 6:14-15, ESV)
The gospel is your firm foundation.
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The gospel is the good news that
Christ saves sinners by grace through faith.
It brings you peace and lets you stand while Satan’s lies and worldly philosophy try to bowl you over.
You’ve heard these lies, haven’t you? That God isn’t fair? Or that you’re worthless? Or don’t measure up?
SOCIAL MEDIA MANIA. If you spend a minute or two on social media, you see pictures and cute quips from beautiful people eating beautiful food with their beautiful friends and family. Doesn’t all that pretty tempt you to become jealous, depressed, or angry? Or throw up?
Please don’t. The other day a friend told me that minutes before she snapped a photo of her kids to share on Facebook they were all yelling at each other and pointing fingers.
This describes our real battle:
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12).
Fighting can lead to doubt and discouragment when you and I believe lies. This is one reason to stand in study shoes.
3 Parts of the Shoes You Need
The soldier in Ephesians 6 put on his shoes. He was careful. He was intentional.
1. Pray.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
2. Know Scripture.
3. Rely on the power of the Holy Spirit.
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name,he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you (John 14:26).
You and I are soldiers in God’s army too. Our spiritual battle requires sturdy shoes fitted with the gospel of peace. God’s peace.
Together let’s stand strong in the battle.
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Sharing Hope with Your Heart,
by Lucy | Apr 7, 2016 | biblical counseling, thoughts
You can escape temptation. Knowing this brings hope, doesn’t it? Here’s an escape plan.
If someone offered you houseboat a few yards above Niagara Falls, would you buy it? Of course not.
Would you let your teen attend a Prom with a known drug user? No again.
These are obvious risks. You wouldn’t feel tempted to “give in.” Temptation is an enticement to make an ungodly choice because you think that you will gain something: pleasure or another benefit. At times you have succumbed to temptation, haven’t you? We all have.
In this article, you’ll discover three ways to overcome temptation.
- Understand how temptation works.
- Know true change is possible.
- Draw near to God.
1. Understand How Temptation Works
Why do Christian women sometimes lose the temptation battle and–
The short answer: You have an enemy who wants to snooker you into believing the lie that giving in means more happiness for you. It doesn’t. Maybe for a very short while you experience fleeting happiness. Soon guilt weighs you down and you feel shame, fear, even depression.
When you understand how temptation works, you are more likely to escape it.
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Once a beautiful angel named Lucifer, Satan desired exaltation above God (Isaiah 14:12-14). God then kicked him out of heaven along with angels who sided with Satan. Satan now “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). He is strategic and intelligent but not all-powerful. He is a defeated foe with two basic plans.
Plan A: Interfere with your following Christ in the first place.
Plan B: Tempt you to be an ineffective Christian by doubting God’s goodness and power.
Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God’: for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he himself tempt anyone (James 1:13).
2. Know True Change Is Possible
You can hope to overcome temptation. Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It is the confident expectation of good.
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This confidence depends on God’s nature and his Word, not circumstances. It assures you that sin no longer rules (Romans 6:14). It guarantees that God has the ultimate victory over sin and death (Romans 8:35-39). 14). It strengthens you in the midst of difficulties.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
God knows when you’re tempted and he promises to provide a way of escape. Isn’t this comforting? You aren’t the first one to face trials like yours. Others have–successfully. You can choose a new, godly response. You need not fall back on old sinful responses.
As a well-known biblical counselor has said, “Paul makes it clear that to say ‘I can’t’ is not an option when God says one can.”
3. Draw Near to God
A while back, while loading groceries in my car, I noticed sunglasses in the corner of my cart. I had failed to the item on the check-out counter and didn’t pay for it.
My teenage son said, “Mom, let’s go back in and pay.” I was already running behind schedule and was tempted to zip away, rationalizing that the cashier should have seen the sunglasses so it was her fault, not mine. What would you have done? I returned to the store and paid.
Temptation itself is not sin. Jesus was tempted by Satan in the desert and didn’t give in to the temptation (Matthew 4:1-11). When temptation is resisted there is no sin.
Jesus told the devil, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written,
‘You shall worship the Lord your God
and him only shall you serve.’”
Jesus’ words remind me of this verse in James:
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7)
What a comforting promise! Satan’s Plan B — to tempt you to be an ineffective Christian by doubting God’s goodness and power — doesn’t stand a chance against the Lord. You can be victorious in Christ when tempted to gossip, right? Or yell at your kids. Or get drunk. Or give in to fear.
When tempted, resist!
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This escape plan sounds to easy to work, doesn’t it? I challenge you to keep track of the times you’re tempted, what you did to resist the devil (or failed to do), and what was the result. God is able to keep you from stumbling.
Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 24-25)
Sharing hope with your heart,
by Lucy | Jan 7, 2016 | biblical counseling, biblical counseling, identity in Christ, thoughts |
Can you guess the big lie Satan wants you to believe?
It’s NOT that you’re not good enough, though he tempts you to believe that one too. It’s NOT you’re unsuccessful or unattractive or a total mess-up or a waste of space, though you and I have fallen for some of these lesser lies, haven’t?
Can your believe I bought the lie that I was a defect?
This isn’t the big lie either. It destroyed my peace, though. God — through life-giving Bible truths and uplifting Christian music as well as counseling — showed me the truth: that I and every believer in Christ is his precious child and God also revealed the big lie at the core of my shame lie.
So what’s the big lie?
The Big Lie Is. .
The big lie Satan tempts you to believe is the same one Adam and Eve ate up in the Garden: God is holding back, that he couldn’t care less, that he’s not. . .good.
In this article, I’ll introduce you to the lying nature of Satan, then I’ll give you a strategy to overcome the big lie if you or someone you care about believes it. I learned much of this material while reading the Bible, Randy Alcorn’s book If God Is Good, and Billy Graham’s book Angels — all of which I highly recommend.
Genesis of the Big Lie
You probably know the fruit-chomping choice of Adam and Eve that caused sin to enter the world. You can read Genesis 3:1-6 (NIV) as dialogue here.
Satan: Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
Eve: We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’
[FYI: Eve adds words to God’s commands. He did not command them not to touch the tree.]
Satan: You will not certainly die, for God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,knowing good and evil.
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
God created Adam and Even without sin but they chose to rebel against him, just as the great archangel Lucifer (who became Satan) had chosen to rebel, and as you and I also choose the big lie over the beautiful truth of the gospel.
Lucifer’s Fall
Like all angels Lucifer was created good, for everything God created he called “very good” (Genesis 1:31). Yet at some point after the creation of the universe, some of the angels rebelled against God (Jude 6). Some scholars believe that Isaiah 14’s account of the demise of Babylon’s evil king may also describe Lucifer’s fate:
How you have fallen from heaven,
morning star, son of the dawn!…
You said in your heart,
“I will ascend to the heavens;
I will raise my throne
above the stars of God…
I will make myself like the Most High.”
But you are brought down to the realm of the dead,
to the depths of the pit.
This great, pride-filled, fallen angel is now called the devil, which means “slanderer,” and Satan (“the accuser”) as well as “a liar and the father of lies.” Jesus said in John 8:44:
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
Other revealing names of Satan’s true nature are described in Matthew 13:19, John 12:31, Revelation 12:10, among other Bible verses. The other fallen angels are now referred to as demons (Luke 8:30).
Strategy to Overcome the Big Lie
Now you know the lying nature of Satan, I want to the remind you of a crucial truth before revealing the strategy to overcome the big lie.
That is, God and Satan are NOT equals. This isn’t Batman versus the Joker.
Satan is a created being with limited power. He is not omniscient, omnipresent, or omnipotent, but he is intelligent and has been studying human behavior for thousands of years.
Here’s the strategy:
Tear down strongholds by recognizing them and replacing the lies with God’s truth.
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Easier said than done, I know. God can and will smash strongholds as use the weapons God has given you to overcome them.
Here’s the verse I shared in my last post and it’s worth re-sharing:
For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (ESV)
Get This Truth Tool
To destroy the arguments and lofty opinions that are against God, you need to take every thought captive to obey Christ, just as the Apostle Paul said. I often share with my counselees — whom I meet with in person and by Skype all over the United States and the world — a valuable tool that helps them replace lies with truth. As counselees make this exchange, they experience a new way of thinking leading to peace-filled emotions and God-honoring behavior.
I want to give you this truth tool. See this post for the truth tool.
You can begin your path to the promise of the abundant life here and now.
This is the abundance of knowing God’s love for you and loving him and others. It’s better than the so-called abundance of a garage filled with BMWs, a house filled with flat screens, and a passport filled with stamps proving your worldwide travel.
If you want helping smashing the strongholds in your mind, please send me an email at Lucy@LucyAnnMoll.com and I’ll get you a downloadable version of the truth tool.
Sharing Hope with Your Heart,
by Lucy | Jul 16, 2015 | biblical counseling, emotions, identity in Christ |
Discover your true identity, and you can battle lies and live from the truth.
You know you have an enemy who lies, don’t you?
He is Satan, the father of lies. He and his demons tempt you to think rotten ideas about your worth. Have you heard thoughts like, “You aren’t good enough! You aren’t pretty enough! You aren’t strong enough!?”
The awesome news: You can replace the lies with the beautiful truth of your true identity. How does that sound? Knowing who you are matters!
Down, Down, Down
When you start to recognize lies, accept that noticing some of them may take time because they’ve become a habit. You’ve probably been repeating them to yourself for a long time. So no quick-fix expectation. Got it?
If you beat yourself up, you’re more likely to fall into temptations of all sorts. A lot of it looks good like the forbidden fruit on a certain tree in the Garden of Eden. When you’re feeling down and out, Satan and the world dangle treasures before your eyes, pretty things like new clothes, invites to parties, good health, a happy family, a big house or chic condo and stuff to fill them.
In hopes of feeling less afraid and more secure, you and I may feed our gods, hungry gods that help us feel special or important – like money and pleasure, others’ opinions of us, busyness, fame and privilege and honor.
But this is not who you are. Did you know this? You don’t have to get stuck in believing lies. Isn’t this refreshing? Did you know God will change your faulty thinking? That He’ll transform your thoughts?
Changing Faulty Thinking
God says you are beautiful and strong in Christ even when. . .
You lose your debit card.
A colleague steals your idea and gets the credit and a bonus.
Your daughter shoplifts a bottle of nail polish and is arrested.
Cancer strikes a good friend.
A bully harasses your son.
Your husband comes home late, again.
Here’s the truth. Every Christian is in Christ. This is a God-sized concept and reality that not one of us can fathom. Too tremendous for your mind.
According to the Bible, you die in Adam and are born again in Christ.
For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.” 1 Corinthians 15:22
You aren’t what you do. That’s performance. Your true identity is who you are in Christ.
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You change your faulty thinking when you embrace your true identity and stop banking on performance.
Adam (who lived in the Garden of Eden and ate forbidden fruit) died as a sinner. Jesus died for sinners. In Adam we’re cursed. In Christ we’re blessed. In Adam there’s condemnation. In Christ there’s salvation.
What God Says About You!
An excellent place in the Bible to discover your true identity is Ephesians 1:3-7. I’ve colored your identity words in blue.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.
In Christ you are blessed, chosen, holy, blameless, loves, predestined, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven. Which of these descriptors speak to your heart? Your radical new identity comes from putting off your old humanity and putting on the new you in Christ.
Make no mistake. This beautifully new and radical identity that you possess has nothing to do with anything you’ve done. It results from who Jesus is and what he has done. As one pastor wrote,
If you’re a Christian, here’s the good news: who you really are has nothing to do with you–how much you can accomplish, who you can become, your behavior, your strengths your weaknesses, your sordid past, for family background, your education, your looks and so on. Your identity is firmly anchored in Christ’s accomplishment, not yours; His strength, not yours; His performance, not yours; His victory, not yours.
What you and I do flows from who we are.
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Isn’t this amazing and comforting? It’s not about you. It’s all about God. Yes!
You live from your identity, not for your identity.
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As you embrace your true identity in Christ, you’ll rightly handle the issues of live that come your way. Pretty cool, huh?
Resource for YOU!
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Sharing hope with your heart,
