Married to a Passive Husband? (part 1)

Married to a Passive Husband? (part 1)

Married to a passive husband? We’ve all heard of the “perfect” husband. He’s attentive and understanding, a lover of the home. And you’ve also read sick stories of wife beaters and serial adulterers. Disgusting!

But what if your guy falls has simply “checked out”? Life with him isn’t horrible but it’s lonely. What’s a wife to do? Let’s first see if he fits the definition of a passive husband.

This article, which appeared first here at Biblical Counseling Coalition, has been updated and edited for length. It is the first part of a two-part series on counseling the wife of a passive husband.-LAM

Passive husband, defined

A passive Christian husband fails to lovingly lead his wife in the marriage. He may play video games into the night. He may stay late at work, or the bar, or the country club. Or he may be “just a roommate” who’s physically present but emotionally absent.

For one reason or another he has checked out.

The Oxford Dictionary defines passive as “accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance.” Another description of a passive husband is one who refuses to lead his wife, spiritually or otherwise.

The opposite of a passive husband is one who fulfills his responsibility of leadership. Stuart Scott writes in The Exemplary Husband,

“The husband’s leadership is a mandate from God, as such is a privilege and responsibility.”

The foundational biblical mandate to husbands on active leadership is Ephesians 5:25-27. Also, God commands a husband to faithfully, rightly, and actively lead his wife in a manner that shows him to be “above reproach” (1 Timothy 3:2).

So the wife takes the initiative

Rarely does a passive husband seek counseling first. Remember, he’s passive. Usually the wife calls for an appointment to handle her feelings of anger, discontent, and fear.

Typically she has prayed for him to change and to act like an Ephesians 5 man. Perhaps she has also thrown this scripture in his face or nagged. But what she learns in counseling is to think biblically about her circumstance.

Interestingly and contrary to what some people think, a wife of a passive husband does not always nag or dominate her husband. Sometimes she chooses a godly response of maintaining a quiet spirit and trusting God. (You’ll see a sketch of this woman in a moment.)

The truth is, when a passive husband fails to lead his wife in the marriage, the wife may respond to him sinfully or rightly (or both). Either way, she is hurting and needs counsel in order to choose thoughts, words, and actions that are Christ-honoring.

2 pictures of a passive husband

These sketches, based on a compilation of actual cases of Christian couples, underscore the need to counsel in the heart of Proverbs 18:13 with the wisdom of 2 Timothy 3:16-17.

In the first sketch the wife quickly admitted she often complained and held bitterness toward her husband, whom she blamed for her problems. In the second sketch, the wife wanted counseling to learn to help her son deal with his anger.

Domineering Debra

This 40-year-old stay-at-home mom had legitimate suffering. When her husband became upset with her or their children, ages 6 to 15, he often stomped out of their home in response to her nagging — she admitted she did this — and stayed at his parents’ place for days at a time.

In retaliation, it seems, he also removed her name from a bank account, which prevented her from using a debit card to buy groceries and other items from stores. Instead, he gave her envelopes of cash. Some may charge that he was financially abusive. What do you think?

However, Debra came alone to counseling. In the office, she quick to point out his mistakes and slow to admit her own wrongdoing in the marriage or examine her own choices (2 Cor. 13:5).

Her heart’s cry: I am a victim. He is wrong to withdraw from me and the marriage. He needs to change.S

Submissive Susie

Though her husband “checks out” by spending hours in their garage after work rather than in the home with her and their two children, Susie did not nag him or complain. Rather, she consistently displayed a quiet hope in Christ.

Data gathering revealed that her husband commonly drank six to eight cans of beer nightly but was able to hold down a job that paid their bills. He admitted his need to lay off the booze and engage the family. He also acknowledged that his failure to do so may be part of the reason their preteen son was becoming increasingly belligerent, the reason for the counseling appointment.

Susie respectfully agreed, admitting that she formerly nagged her husband to join family dinners. Now she left it up to him, praying continually for him and asking God to help her maintain a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:4).

Her heart’s cry: I hate my husband’s passivity, but I am hoping in the Lord. God will be a husband to me and a father to my children while I wait on Him.

Husband leads, wife submits

As Scripture directs a husband to lead his wife, it also informs the wife to submit to her husband (Eph. 5:22-24). Yet the culture in general and feminists in particular push back against biblical submission, providing objections such as, “Is the woman just supposed to let her husband walk all over her?” But Scripture does not espouse “doormat theology,” or total submission (as in the case where a husband asks his wife to sin).

A submissive wife acknowledges she has a different God-given role than her husband. In fact, “male domination is a personal failure, not [b]iblical doctrine,” Martha Peace writes in The Excellent Wife.

The fall brought strain between the sexes. Specifically, Genesis 3:16 decrees, “To the woman [God] said, ‘I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.’”

Some commentators assert that “desire,” as used here, means the wife would suffer conflict with her husband or domination by her husband. But other commentators like Ed Welch say this interpretation of the passage is lacking.

In fact, he expresses concern that it might embolden counselors to make hasty decisions concerning the woman before they understand her. He says counselors (or pastors) “would begin with a theory—women are prone to a quest for power and control—and then we would find evidence for our theory, whether it is there or not.”

In Part Two, we will consider how a counselor might best counsel the wife of a passive husband, relying heavily on 1 Thessalonians 5:14, Ephesians 5:22-32, 1 Peter 3:1-7, and passages dealing with anger, self-pity, fear, loneliness, and hope.

Questions for Reflection

How do you provide effective counseling when only the wife seeks counseling? How do you encourage the submissive wife whose husband has passively retreated from the marriage?

COUNSELING: Considering counseling by Skype/FaceTime/Zoom? Set up an appointment or contact me with your questions?

I’m Not ‘in Love’ with My Spouse Anymore

I’m Not ‘in Love’ with My Spouse Anymore

So you are not ‘in-love’ with your spouse anymore? Now what? Should you dump the relationship? Or rekindle passion? Or something better? This article by Eliza Jane Huie appeared first here on The Biblical Counseling Coalition webisite and is used with permission.

“I love my spouse; I’m just not ‘in-love’ with him/her anymore.”

This is a statement I have heard pronounced in the counseling room many times by couples. Both women and men have said it. It is usually said in the context of a marriage counseling session scheduled because the couple has reached a crisis state, and in many cases, the one saying it is also declaring their desire to leave the relationship.

To Love and To Be in Love

What does it mean to love or be in love, and is there a difference? If you spend any time wading through the murky bog of the world’s messages as portrayed in movies, TV shows, and music you might come up with a definition like this:

Love is good-looking, emotionally exciting, and never boring. Love is always interested and supportive of my hobbies, and is never tired or discouraged. Plus, love makes me feel good about myself. And love is sexually in sync; love is totally into me.

So, when a relationship, and for our particular focus—a marriage—becomes dull there can be a temptation to believe that you are not in love. How can you be in love if there is no passion left? How can this really be love if desire for the relationship has fizzled?

Is there hope for a relationship when it has reached this state?

To recover passion you must focus on the right things. As a famous preacher once said, “You have to focus yourself away from yourself.”

Building a marriage around your felt needs is a recipe for disappointment and is contrary to Scripture. Focusing on you is counterproductive. It may seem like it would help if your marriage met your needs, but the unintended consequences are that you become the center of attention and the center of focus.

This is a big problem. The relationship is no longer the point, but you and your needs are. The natural consequence of this is when you feel like your spouse is not meeting your needs, you no longer want the relationship. You may not initially leave, but you begin to check out.

The Scriptural Purpose of Marriage

Scripture speaks of a very different purpose for marriage. You get married to forget about yourself, to set yourself aside, to lay your life down. To die.

I will often bring up this point when doing premarital counseling with a couple. It is sometimes a bit humorous to see the look on the face of the dreamy-eyed couple as I tell them that marriage is death.

Marriage, in essence, is an “other-centered” relationship. When you begin to focus on yourself and your needs you begin the deconstruction of the relationship.

For anyone playing the devil’s advocate, I am certainly not talking about essential needs for life and survival. Any time a person is in a marriage that is threatening their safety or well-being it is absolutely appropriate to get away from that relationship and seek help.

Loving Your Spouse

The death that we are called to in marriage is the laying down of your life described in Scripture as the mystery of marriage which points to Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:32).

How do you know you love your spouse?

  • Are you living in your marriage in a way that reflects the relationship that Christ has with his Bride?
  • Are you willing to become obedient to the point of death; the death of your own interests and preferences?
  • And will you humble yourself and think of your spouse’s interests more than your own?
  • Are you willing to count your spouse as more significant than yourself? This is death (see Philippians 2:3-11).

The reality is this; in marriage you die daily. Every day is an opportunity to die and in dying you love.

So, what can you make of the original question of what it means to love or be in love? If you have lost that loving feeling, you need to build a new foundation of what love is and what it means. It means you get yourself out of the way. This can only be done as you focus on your Lord.

To love your spouse means that you look to Jesus and learn from Him what love is. “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for u.” (Ephesians 5:2). To love and be in love requires you give yourself up, to die.

Join the Conversation

What does it mean to love or be in love and is there a difference?

What difference does it make in marriage to see marriage as a call to die to self and to live for Christ as you love your spouse?

Friends,

Does your marriage need help? Maybe you are even ready to call it quits. Why not set up a free 15-minute phone consultation with me and ask your questions about restoring your marriage. I meet with folks in person and by Skype/FaceTime/Hangouts worldwide. 

 

4 Tips to Help Overly Sensitive Wives

4 Tips to Help Overly Sensitive Wives

HELP & HOPE for overly sensitive wives! Has your husband claimed you’re overly sensitive? Maybe you are overly sensitive. Maybe you aren’t.

Scroll to the 4 tips below. 

This article by biblical counselor Andrea Lee appeared first here at The Biblical Counseling Coalition website and used with permission.

Touchy. Moody. Easily offended. Has your husband ever said this about you? Does he walk on eggshells around you or fear you will misinterpret his comments? Are you overly sensitive to his assessment of your performance or character?

To define my terms, an “overly sensitive wife” is excessively hurt by the delivery and content of her husband’s comments.

Her emotional frailty makes playfulness in the marriage rare. Furthermore, she overreacts to any reproof, making it hard for her husband to help her grow. Instead of overlooking a poorly timed comment or opinion with love, she is devastated. She is allergic to criticism and assumes her husband is trying to hurt her.

Let me be clear.

There are times when you as a wife must address issues of biblical obedience or conscience with your husband.

You should confront your husband if he maliciously uses humor, constantly criticizes, or is regularly harsh and irritable. Such provocation is ungodly and if this is a pattern, discuss this with him, and if needed, seek help from your pastor or a biblical counselor.

But often believing husbands are not being malicious. Nonetheless, you might find yourself provoked, offended, and hurt. Even though your husband could grow in his ability to gently reprove you, you know you’re part of the problem.

Such emotionally disproportionate responses never lead to peace. As you examine the ways you contribute to low-grade conflict in your marriage, pay attention to the following four areas.

sensitive wives

1. Realize the connection between desires and interpretations

Our values and desires shape how we interpret our experiences. In other words, the things we desire, cherish, and love more than God influence the way we make sense of conversations and circumstances.

For example, because a wife wants to be perfect in an area (mothering, housekeeping, decorating, fashion, cooking, poise, entertaining, etc.), she might overreact when her husband mentions a weakness. The problem isn’t that her husband is wrong or spiteful, but rather she has assigned too much value to this area.

2. Recognize the link between idolatry and pride

When our desires are frustrated, we can respond with unreasonable hurt and irritation. This is idolatry. Idolatry is looking to, clinging to, and trusting in something other than God in order to achieve a desired experience or outcome (Is. 44:17; Hab. 2:18; Col. 3:5).

We either want what God says is wrong, or we want a good thing too much. Foundationally, idolatry serves self. We use things or people to exalt us or to give us pleasure, comfort, control, and approval.

Overly sensitive wives seek fulfillment in their achievement or performance. We are willing to pout, cry, or withdraw when our husbands minimize our efforts. This happens because we’ve merged performance with identity: “If I don’t perform perfectly, then I’m not worth anything.” This may sound like humility, but it’s really pride.

What are some signs that pride may be at work in your life? Stuart Scott pinpoints several markers of pride that fuel oversensitivity. These markers include being  …

  • devastated or angered by criticism
  • focused on self and wanting self to be elevated
  • consumed with what others think
  • defensive
  • convinced that you have little sin and others are more sinful
  • disheartened because you are not perfect and have weaknesses.

3. Repent of specific manifestations of idolatrous pride

So what are some desires that create conflict in this area?

Perfectionism

An overly sensitive wife focuses on areas where she wants to be the best. She wants her performance to merit approval from others. And when it doesn’t, she is devastated and reacts with quiet hurt or loud defensiveness.

Fear of Man

Perfectionism and fear of man go hand-in-hand.

The hypersensitive wife wants to be perfect so that others will praise her and have no ground for judging her. When she focuses on her husband’s evaluations and stops worshiping God, her performance takes center stage.

It devastates her when she fails to meet her own standards. Instead of repenting of pride and the way she exalts herself, she lashes out at the one who draws attention to her “failure.”

Control

We all use control as a strategy to get what we want.

And the overly sensitive wife believes she knows best and if everyone would do things her way, life would work at optimal speed and enjoyment. She is quick to defend her motives and ignore her sin. She wants to be seen as blameless in all ways and is unaware that her motives are mixed. And she underestimates how sinful she is and is easily hurt when her husband questions her motives.

Use these descriptions to evaluate the way pride impacts your interactions with your husband. This will help you repent more thoroughly and change more deeply.

4. Respond with worship and love 

Our God of all grace (1 Pet. 5:10) can help you to lay aside destructive sensitivity and to put on humble love for Christ and others. Turn to him. 

  • Ask God for grace and wisdom to repent of wanting your husband to regard you as perfect and worthy of constant praise.
  • Pray God will help you to cherish Christ’s perfection and put away attempts to establish your own righteousness.
  • Thank God He empowers your love and service (1 Pet. 4:11) and causes you to grow (1 Pet. 5:10; 1 Thess. 5:23-24).
  • Choose to believe the best about your husband. Assume he has good motives unless he confesses otherwise (1 Cor. 13:4-8; cf. 1 Cor. 4:5)
  • Focus on loving your husband and praying for him rather than on being loved perfectly by him (Phil. 2:3). Only Christ will love you perfectly.

What fuels your over-sensitivity?

1 Stuart Scott, From Pride to Humility (Bemidji, MN: Focus Publishing, 2002), 6-10. 2 For more on the ways sin is natural, see Ed Welch, Crossroads: A Step-by-Step Guide away from AddictionFacilitator’s Guide (Greensboro: New Growth Press, 2008), 31.

Want Help?

It’s miserable to be overly sensitive, right? You’re often anxious, afraid, and just plain sad. May I suggest that you consider getting help from a trusted Christian friend, a pastor, or a biblical counselor?

A great resource is Heart2Heart Counselor Directory! See it here. Look over the personal profile pages of experienced and vetted female biblical counselors, listed by location and speciality. Nearly all Heart2Heart counselors also counsel by Skype/Facetime too.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

 

10 Effective Marriage Principles

10 Effective Marriage Principles

Effective Marriage Principles help couples know what a God-honoring marriage looks like and assist counselors in counseling hurting couples. Biblical counselor Bob Kellemen includes a link to a one-page PDF document too. Use this Counselor Resource in your own marriage or with the couples you counsel. These 10 effective marriage principles appeared first here on Bob’s website and is used with permission.

Gospel-Centered Marriages

I’ve done a lot of marriage counseling lately. Consistent biblical themes keep arising. I’ve collated them into 10 effective marriage principles for couples and for marriage counseling. The first 8 principles are for both the husband and wife. The final 2 are more specifically for the husband (# 9) and the wife (# 10).

Notice that the last two principles are where a lot of couples and a lot of counselors start—with biblical roles in marriage. Obviously, this is a vital biblical area. Yet, Paul did not start Ephesians with Ephesians 5:21. He started it with gospel-centered principles of salvation, daily Christian living, and relationships. Then, building upon those foundations, Paul moved toward the roles, responsibilities, and callings of husbands and wives. With these 10 effective marriage principles, I’ve sought to do the same—laying out a gospel-centered foundation for marriages and marriage counseling.

I now regularly hand out these 10 effective marriage principles as a one-page guide for the couples that I’m counseling. Feel free to do the same—with small margins, you can make these 10 principles all fit on one page! To prove it, click here for your one-page PDF document. You can send it to others using this shortened link: http://bit.ly/MarriageMC10 

Here Are 10 Effective Marriage Principles

1. Keep Putting Jesus First; Keep Loving Jesus Most

Matthew 22:35-38

Love God most with your most: with all your heart, soul, mind, and spirit. Repent of anything you put on the throne above Jesus. Put Jesus before yourself. Put Jesus before your children, your work, your ministry. And put Jesus before your need to be right. Put Jesus first. Love Jesus most.

2. Be Empowered, Changed, and Comforted by the Trinity

Ephesians 5:18; 6:10-18; 2 Corinthians 1:3-8

Paul surrounds his marriage counsel with Ephesians 5:18 and 6:10-18. Spouses change as they are filled by the Spirit (5:18). Marriages change as spouses become more like Christ in Christ’s resurrection power (6:10-18). In your marital hurts, be comforted by the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-8).

3. Remember Who Your Enemy Is—Satan!

Ephesians 6:11-12

Your struggle is not against your spouse. Your enemy is not your spouse. And your joint enemy is Satan! He wants to destroy your marriage. Join together as spiritual warriors to defeat Satan in the Lord’s mighty power.

4. Take Personal Responsibility

Joshua 1:6-9; Philippians 4:9

You’ve been given more spiritual tools than most people on the planet. Use them. Be mature and courageous and do what God commands. What you’ve heard in the Word—do! Put it into practice!

5. Take the Log Out of Your Own Eye, Confess, Repent

Matthew 7:3-5; James 4:1-4

Don’t focus on what your spouse is doing wrong or not doing right. Remember Matthew 7:3-5 and take the mote out of your eye. Recall James 4:1-4—the real problem in any marriage resides within your heart. Ask God to reveal any sins to repent of. Ask forgiveness of your spouse.

6. Forgive Each Other, Reaffirm Your Love, Comfort Each Other

2 Corinthians 2:5-11

Your spouse will never repent perfectly or be perfect. Still, forgive them as Christ forgives you. Still, reaffirm your loyal love to them as Christ loves you. And still, comfort them as the God of comfort comforts you. Surrender bitterness. Refuse to keep track of wrong. Love. Start afresh every morning as God renews His faithfulness every day.

7. Speak Life Words, Not Death Words to Your Spouse

Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 18:21

When your spouse hurts or fails you, do this:

1.) Find comfort in Christ.

2.) Seek hope in God.

3.) Take the mote out of your own eye.

4.) Forgive the mote in your spouse’s eye.

5.) Love like Christ. Say this, “My spouse is doing ______. I’m going to respond like Christ by thinking and doing ______.” Speak life-giving, helpful words about and to your spouse—words that nourish them according to their need, that it will benefit your spouse.

8. Put the Interests of Your Spouse First in the Power of Christ

Philippians 2:1-5

When your spouse doesn’t meet your need, be filled by the One who meets your every need—the Trinity Who encourages you, is compassionate with you, values and affirms you. Out of His fullness, choose to fill your spouse by putting their interests before your interests. Put your spouse first.

9. Husband: Shepherd Your Wife with Christ’s Sacrificial Love

Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:7

Husband, your #1 marital calling is shepherding your wife. Shepherd her like Christ shepherds the church: with death-to-self, sacrificial, agape, mature, other-centered love. Ask God to empower you to live out Ephesians 5:22- 33. Seek to know your wife richly and to treat her with respect as a spiritual heir with you (1 Peter 3:7).

10. Wife: Love Your Husband Like the Church Loves Christ

Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-6

Wife, your #1 marital calling is to love your husband with respecting love (Ephesians 5:33). Mature respect encourages strengths, affirms gifts, and gently, humbly challenges wrongs. Mature respect speaks the truth in love to help your husband to keep growing in Christ—because you are for your husband and believe in Christ’s work in him. Ask God to use your godly life to draw your husband closer to Christ (1 Peter 3:1-6).

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

Engaged Couples: Avoid These 3 Common Pitfalls

couplesEngaged couples (and their loved ones), please pay attention for the common premarital pitfalls. Address them before you marry. This article by biblical counselor Eliza Jane Huie appeared first here on The Biblical Counseling Coalition and is used by permission.

heart

As a marriage counselor, I have seen my share of troubled marriages. While each marital crisis is unique, one thing is universal for these couples: they did not get married to be miserable. They, like you, hoped to live happily ever after. They didn’t plan on one day looking at each other and questioning the decision of “till death do us part.”

In many cases, the troubles these couples face predate the marriage. The marital disappointments connect to the couple’s interaction before they said, “I do.”

If you are engaged, there are important conversations the two of you should have about your current relationship. The topics below highlight key pitfalls that engaged couples can fall into that will lead to marital distress if not addressed.

Building a strong marriage begins now. As you read, consider where your own relationship is and what may need to be addressed. Then share your thoughts with a trusted mentor or counselor.

Common premarital pitfalls include:

1. Expecting Your Fiancé or the Relationship to Carry Too Much

If your relationship has advanced to engagement, it means you have shared significant moments together. You are likely a source of strength for each other. Your fiancé may know you better than anyone else. This is wonderful and probably a big reason why you want to spend the rest of your life together.

However, if your fiancé or the relationship is your ultimate source of hope or help, it will be more than the person or relationship can bear. We are designed to be dependent, but that dependency must always be ultimately on the Lord (Ps. 62:5-8).

  • Have you felt the weight of being the source of your fiancé’s emotional balance?
  • Is your fiancé the only one you turn to when you need hope?
  • Does the status of your relationship determine your happiness?

Your relationship will buckle under this weight, but the Lord will not.

Couples must point each other to the Lord. You can pray together and share Scripture to encourage each other. These are wonderful habits, but you both need to personally be resting in Jesus and looking ultimately and regularly to Him. Jesus is the best savior and refuge for your fiancé; you are not able to carry that weight (Ps. 46:1). This truth must be the foundation on which you build your marriage.

2. Swimming at Only One End of the Conversational Pool

When a couple only occupies the shallow end of this pool, they ignore vital conversations. They have a lot of fun and often have great memories of exciting times. They talk about the things they enjoy doing or interests they both have. Life is fun, just like kids playing in the shallow end of the pool.

But when things get difficult, talking is hard. They tend to get out of the pool when conversations go deep. They don’t have the relational stamina to swim in the deep end. It’s exhausting.

On the other end of this pool are the couples who tend to only swim in the deep end. Their conversations are often about vital areas of the relationship. They discuss their relationship, faith, family, and plans very deeply (and often late into the night).

When they have conflict, they talk through all the areas of hurt or misunderstanding. Every aspect of their relationship has deep meaning, and they intend to find it. While this kind of relationship has more stamina to tread the waters of deep conversation, they can lack the enjoyment, playful interaction, and rest that the shallow end can bring. This too is exhausting.

Couples need both. You need to know how to enjoy the less deep end of life that finds joy and pleasure in the little blessings all around you (1 Tim. 6:7). You also need to have the relational stamina to go deep with one another and not drown (Prov. 20:5). Learning this balance now will greatly help your future marriage.

3. Getting Physical

Until you are married, sexual activity is stepping outside of God’s plan for your relationship. God designed sex with a purpose. Sex invites another person into the most vulnerable places of your life. It is an act of building trust.

Sex is also one of the most significant ways couples experience betrayal. Sex can build or break trust in a relationship. Infidelity or adultery is when married couples take sex outside of God’s plan (Ex. 20:14). Fornication or sexual immorality is when unmarried couples take sex outside of God’s plan (1 Thess. 4:3-5). These activities are battering rams to the walls of trust in your relationship and future marriage.

If you are engaging sexually now, you and your fiancé are saying, “I am willing to compromise on God’s plan of faithfulness for our relationship.” If you and your fiancé will compromise on faithfulness to God’s plan now, why should you trust that compromise in faithfulness won’t happen once you are married?

God wants you to have sex. He just wants you to enjoy it the way He designed it (Heb. 13:4). His design protects your future marriage. His design also builds trust into your relationship.

As you read through these pitfalls, did you see some characteristics of your relationship? If so, it isn’t a deal-breaker but it should be a conversation starter.

The Lord is a redeeming God. He is gracious and forgiving. Turn to Him for grace and consider talking with someone about these pitfalls. Seek out a wise mentor, a respected married couple, or a biblical counselor. Share this with them and begin the conversation. Having these conversations will help you now and in your future marriage.

Questions for Reflection

Of the three areas above, which concerns you most about your relationship? What will you do to address it wisely?

Eliza Huie is an experienced biblical counselor and serves as Director of Counseling  at Life Counseling Center in Marriottsville, Maryland. She seeks to bring gospel hope to those hurting or seeking change.

Counseling Hope to Your Heart,

 

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