Trusting God in the Storms of Life

Trusting God in the Storms of Life

The storms of life are unpredictable and scary. But God’s up to good. And you can trust him in them. Featured in Heart2Heart Counseling Directory, Shannon Kay McCoy shares 3 lasting lessons on the storms of life. Be sure to check out her personal counselor page here.

Her article appeared first here at The Biblical Counseling Coalition and is used with permission.

While growing up in South Carolina, I loved thunderstorms. I watched the howling wind blow leaves from the tree branches and the raindrops beat down on the grass under the dark, gray sky.

If we were at my Granny’s house, she would make us unplug everything electrical. That meant no TV or radio (there was no internet in those days). My siblings and I had no other choice but to play with each other. We found a way to endure the storm until it blew over.

Sometimes storms can cause much damage and wreak havoc in the lives of many. While the news focuses on environmental storms, there are other storms just as devastating that people experience every day, such as sickness, financial hardship, and broken relationships. These storms of life threaten our peace, comfort, and joy, and often bring about fear, doubt, and hopelessness.

Jesus Calms a Storm

In Mark 4:34-41, the disciples found themselves caught in a ferocious storm while on a boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee and simultaneously in a spiritual storm of fear and doubt. They feared for their lives. Jesus was fast asleep in the stern of the boat while the storm was raging. They woke Him and said,

“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (4:38).

storms of lifeJesus woke up, calmed the storm, and questioned their faith in Him (4:40). They were no longer afraid of the storm, but very afraid of the supernatural power of Jesus that led them to wonder who He was, that even the wind and sea obey Him (4:41).

The disciples learned significant lessons that day that transformed their lives. We can learn much from their experience as we face the storms of our own lives. 

God Ordains the Storms of Life

The idea that God permits bad things to happen to His children is a very hard pill for some of us to swallow. “It doesn’t make sense for a loving God to allow His followers to suffer,” some would say. This is a simple conundrum to solve.

Jesus tells us in John 16:33,

“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Jesus promises us that we will have trials and tribulations in this world, but because He has overcome the world, we can trust Him in the storms.

When storms hit, we often wonder, “Why is this happening?” In James 1, we see that God has a purpose for every trial that we experience. God uses trials to test the genuineness of our faith.

The disciples’ faith in Jesus was being tested in the storm. They questioned the very character of Jesus, implying that He did not care for them. We may feel the same way when we face a health crisis or a financial hardship that may cause us to lose our home. But 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all of our cares and concerns on Jesus, because He cares for us.

God Is in Control of the Storms of Life

The disciples were filled with great fear when Jesus rebuked the wind and told the sea, “Peace! Be still!” (Mark 4:39). Jesus displayed amazing supernatural power over nature. We learn, along with the disciples, that Jesus can be trusted in the storm. This is because He is sovereign.

God’s sovereignty is described in Psalm 24:1-2:

“The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.”

God is in perfect control of the universe. He is involved in everything in this world and is directing all things, people, nature, etc. to fulfill His divine purposes. When facing the storms of life, understanding the sovereignty of our amazing God is essential.

The disciples showed us both what to do and what not to do. They were right to go to Jesus in the storm. However, they fell short because they went to Him in fear and doubt. Jesus wanted them to have faith in Him in the midst of the terrible storm. In Philippians 4:5-6, we learn how to replace our fear and anxiety with prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving.

We are released from the grip of fear and anxiety when we thank Him for His sovereign power and purpose for the storms. We can trust His promise that His peace will guard our hearts and minds so that we will not be fearful or anxious during the storm (Phil. 4:7).

God Is for You in the Storms of Life

In their fear, the disciples questioned if Jesus cared for them. He asked them, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40). Not only did Jesus rebuke the wind and the waves, but He rebuked the disciples for their unbelief.

Their unbelief caused their fear, and their fear caused them to question whether Jesus really cared. Jesus expected them to know that He was for them and that He did not want to destroy them. 

Isaiah 41:10 states,

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.”

Believing that God is for you can transform your life. When trials come, you will not be tempted to doubt God’s love, care, and concern for you. When it seems like there is no sound coming from Heaven, you can still believe that God is for you.

The storms of life are part of God’s sanctification plan, revealing your heart, and growing you into His image. Do not let the difficult storms become bigger than the promises of Jesus.

He promises to be with you through any storm that He allows in your life (Isa. 43:2). Allow the storms of life propel you to trust God as your refuge and deliverer.

Questions for Reflection

  • When the storms of life hit, what is your first reaction?
  • Can you look back on previous storms in your life and accept that God ordained the storm and was in control of it?
  • How will the realization that God is for you impact your fear?

Resource for YOU

I have the awesome privilege of counseling women and families by Skype and FaceTime all over the world! If you’d like to know more about this wonderful resource of online counseling, please look over this and be sure to request a complimentary counseling phone consult. Cheers!

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

 

“I’d Only Be Happy If. . .”

“I’d Only Be Happy If. . .”

Many of us say, “I’d only be happy if. . .” and then chase after temporal things like success, security, love, and acceptance. Donna Hart, PhD, listed here on Heart2Heart Counselor Directory, helps us think through what we value most. Her article first appeared here on her website and is used with permission. (Edited for length –LAM)

If you had to write down your dream for a happy life, what would you write? What would be your “if onlys”? How would you complete the sentence, “God, if you gave me this…then I could be happy”?

The events that occur in John 6 open our eyes to a clash that is going on between what people think “a happy life” should look like and how God might define it. In the account Jesus takes a little boy’s lunch and turns it into a meal for 5,000 people with 12 baskets of food left over.

The talk among the happy people must have been buzzing. “This is it,” they probably surmised. “He is the Messiah! He is the One we must make him king! And then we’ll be happy.”

A Curious Conversation

happyBut Jesus doesn’t play their game. He withdraws and goes to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. In John 6:25 the people catch up with him and a curious conversation ensues. They ask, “Rabbi, when did you get here?” Jesus responds,

Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you.

The people ask what they must do to do the work of God. Jesus replies, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.”

“Give Us a Sign!”

They wonder what sign he will give them so that they would believe. Jesus responds,

Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.

The people ask that they could have that bread. Jesus then responds,

I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe.

Clearly, the people were not getting the point; the physical blessing of bread was pointing to a much deeper spiritual reality. The people were not pursuing Christ out of a humble willingness to follow him as the Messiah. Instead, they were pursuing him for selfish gain and a hope that he would be the One who met their felt needs, their happy place.

Do You Want What God Wants?

What do you want from Christ? Whose dream are you bringing to Him? Is your dream nothing more than a happy life of ease?

1 Peter 1:3-5 gives us an understanding of what we have been given in Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Do we understand what we have been given? We have been chosen to be saved by God’s mercy. Our sins have been forgiven. We are a part of God’s family and have an inheritance waiting for us. Yet how often do we grumble, “That’s wonderful, but what about now?”

Let’s get a bigger picture of God’s goal and vision for us!

The message from God is that he is producing in us something greater, fuller, and deeper: a genuine faith.

Truly Abundantly Happy Life!

The blessings that God gives us are meant to point to a deeper and much fuller blessing, the blessing of the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ in our lives. Abundant life is not our relationships with husbands, wives, significant others, or children. It is not what we own or our jobs.

Abundant life is Jesus Himself; He is abundant life.

Jesus says that He is the bread of life. What kind of bread do we hunger for and feed on? Do we sometimes find ourselves acting like the people in John 6 who pursued Jesus only for the bread and fish? We can be coming to Jesus because we are holding on to our dreams and hoping somehow Jesus will help us achieve them.

If we are living for earthly bread, then we are going to be disappointed when we don‘t get it. But if we are living for a deeper communion with God, then all our relationships will become a place to live out that communion. And, yes, we’ll be truly happy.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

Boundaries: Do They Help or Hurt?

Boundaries: Do They Help or Hurt?

Boundaries: Do they help or hurt? Donna Hart, PhD., listed on Heart2Heart Counselor Directory, considers boundaries in light of the Bible and shares her valuable insights. Her article appeared first here and is used with permission.

We have been hearing so much in the news about the contentious topic of whether our country should have a border wall or not. This strongly debated issue reminds us that we also struggle with whether we should have boundaries. Boundaries are deeply familiar to us. The word boundaries gives us an image of people wearing masks creating a subtle barrier suggesting that people desire to erect boundaries.

On the other hand, the quest for authenticity and the desire to be known cause us to feel constrained by boundaries. We have a desire for personal connection, hinting that we hope for a day when we have more open borders and can know and be known.

But when we look at boundaries in light of the Bible, we note that separation is an essential ingredient of the fallen order and union is an essential feature of the gospel.

Jesus and Breaking Boundaries

Jesus breaks one boundary wall after another so we can live without confinement of walls. He broke the wall between man and Creator by becoming like us.

Ephesians 2:14-15 completes the picture:

For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments and ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, making peace…

In essence we learn boundaries are not intended to be a dominant feature of relationships. Instead, breaking relational boundaries is fundamental to life in Christ. We are to consider how to move toward one another in love, reconciliation, and forgiveness.

The problem is we set boundaries because we feel violated and seek to protect ourselves.

The boundaries image suggests that the problem is coming from outside of us. Yes problems, expectations, and demands can come at us. But Scripture emphasizes these problems come out of us.

Why “No” Is Hard

Let’s consider some motivations to our difficulty in saying no to things.

Love does not always mean self-sacrifice. Although this is one expression of love, love can also mean discerning that it is wise to go on a date with your spouse even though your young children don’t want you to go out. Love and wisdom can mean saying no to certain things.

We don’t want to disappoint others. “Many of us want to please other people and fear disappointing them. This is good and normal. However, this desire can quickly go south and become an idolatrous desire in which our goal is to never disappoint. When our hearts are set on this, the other-oriented command to love is reversed so that it becomes a self-oriented goal to never disappoint, to always have people pleased with us, to never have conflict. What seemed like a desire to not disappoint can mask the desire to have everyone pleased with us. The goal of Christ followers is to love others more than need love from them,” (Ed Welch, Journal of Biblical Counseling, Spring 2004, p20.)

We over-estimate our own importance and under-estimate God’s care for us. We live as if we existed as lone-rangers, frantically putting out fires as the wind blows sparks to start a new fire. (We might call this self-determined self-sufficiency rather than dependence on God).

We overvalue how important we are and undervalue the gifts and talents God has given to others to serve us. It is an expression of faith to ask for help because we know we are limited creatures.

Wisdom from the Great Commandment

One of the important parts of wisdom is that it keep us focused on the two great commandments to love God and neighbor. Love can mean that we take a bullet for someone. Or, it might mean we throw them out of the house.

Love is always willing to look at our own hearts first when there is trouble in a relationship.

Love is the reason why we establish a boundaries. It says NO to evil. When possible it puts limits around sin and its consequences. The goal is always to bless enemies and lead them to repentance (Romans 12:14-21).

Boundaries can have both negative and positive characteristics.

Some positive characteristics:

  • We erect barriers between ourselves and areas of temptation.
  • We maintain boundaries when there are questions about physical safety.
  • In extreme situations, we “do not cast our pearls before swine” (Matt. 7:6).
  • And we “expel the wicked man from among you” (1 Cor. 5:13).

But we must be careful not to let boundaries become a lifestyle. Also, we must be aware of when we are thinking more about self-protection than love.

The guiding principle to think about is how we can break down the walls between ourselves and others rather than building them.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

Healthy Escape from Stress. . .God’s Way

escapeESCAPE: Who doesn’t want to escape life’s crazy stress? Donna Hart, PhD, listed here on Heart2Heart Counselor Directory, shares insights and practical, biblical ideas on escaping stress the better way. Her article appeared first here on her website and is used with permission.

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Our American culture is one that often encourages us to escape. When we feel tired and overworked can we say to ourselves, “I need a vacation?” Is there an underlying meaning in there that says, “I need to escape from the rigors of everyday life?” Is there a sense in which we are saying that it is permissible to escape from problems of life because as the saying goes, “You deserve a break today.”

Psalm 55:6-7 says.

“I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. Behold, I would wander far away, I would lodge in the wilderness.”

Does it sound like the desire to “escape” from this world has been around for a few thousand years?

Have you wanted to escape far away from the pressures and realities of this world?

Jesus Escaped the Best Way

What did Jesus do? Jesus escaped from this fallen world at times. The difference is that Jesus did it without sin. He did escape from the pressures of the multitudes that followed Him and from His disciples as well. The purpose of Jesus escape from the people is given in Scripture, as His wanting to be with His Heavenly Father. The escape Jesus turned to was spending time in intimate fellowship with His Father in heaven.

How might you turn to God to cultivate your relationship with Him? Can you turn to God because He can solve your problems according to His will?

Does everyone deal with wanting to escape from painful circumstances or emotions caused by the hurt and rejection of a loved one?

Perhaps you feel the hurt of rejection very deeply because of your tremendous sensitivity and tender-heart toward people. If you feel emotions at an extreme measure from a perceived rejection, is it essential that you learn to overcome those emotions by making cognitive choices to please God.

Do you habitually respond to pain by doing things that are pleasurable and give you a short period of escape from the painful rigors of life? Do you expect that the pleasurable things would eventually rule you? 1 Corinthians 6:12 says,

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”

We Often Escape the Wrong Way

Those who run to comfort or pleasure rather than face the pain tend to make feeling-oriented decisions.

They feel emotions to the extreme. These lead to powerful influences that affect their behavior; sometimes leading them astray. Do we all need to learn to be ruled by the commands of God rather than by our personal emotions?

God has allowed you to be right where you are. Contentment is learned by looking for the blessings and choosing to think on the circumstances as blessings rather then thinking of them as a curse. Does a loving Heavenly Father curse an obedient child? God does not curse His children but He does discipline them.

Hebrews 12:6 says,

“For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives.”

How to Make a Healthy Escape

You must contentment by focusing your thoughts on the right things (Philippians 4:8).

  • The repentant Christian no longer has to hide, lie, or attempt to appear perfect to other people because their identity is in Christ.
  • You have faults, problems, and struggles in this life but Christ is able to strengthen you to overcome those weaknesses.
  • You are to become more like Christ Jesus every day that you live, but you are an imperfect creature dealing with the consequences of sin in a sin-cursed world.
  • Also you will become more like Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit working in conjunction with the Word of God.

In what ways have you found it difficult to find contentment? I look forward to your comments.

Donna Hart, PhD, has been counseling in greater Chicago for more than 15 years and is a counselor at Biblical Counseling Center. She also enjoys being an adjunct professor in the adult undergraduate department at Trinity International University. Her education includes a MDiv degree from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and a PhD in biblical counseling from Trinity Seminary. 

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

Is Text Messaging Harming Your Marriage?

text messagingText messaging: This form of communication may interfere with meaningful communication in your marriage. How can you tell if text messaging is a problem for you? And what can a married couple do about it? This article by Joshua Waulk, whose wife Christy is listed on Heart2Heart Counseling Directory, appeared first here on his website and is used with permission. (Edited for length–LAM.)

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Communication, or a lack thereof, is a common complaint in marriage counseling. By the time a couple comes to counseling, they say they talked endlessly into the wee hours of the morning during dating. But then they cut the wedding cake. And truly meaningful communication petered out.

In one sense, this isn’t a surprising result. Marriage is not dating.,Getting married, and living full-time under the same roof with another sinner-in-need-of-grace. has its natural effects upon a relationship. We do well to not be naive about these things. (Pre-married couples, are you listening?).

Text messaging is a problem I’m encountering more often among married couples who have communication difficulties. Sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it?

When Harry Started Texting Sally

The modern technological convenience of text messaging has become, for some, a stumbling block to meaningful, face-to-face communication. Indeed, text messaging has replaced the nightly review of the day’s events around the dinner table.

In addition, the problem of text messaging is not primarily for the convenience of typing “Honey, grab a gallon of milk on the way home.” Rather, for some couples, text messaging is an endless stream of electronic ticker tape. And updates arrive every thirty seconds.

The net result is a communication-depleted couple  who have nothing left to talk about at the end of the day. What is best reserved for face-to-face talk time was already transmitted in real time via text messaging, complete with emoticons or a GIF.

Putting the Phone Down

Of course there Is a place for texting. For instance, I love knowing that my wife has arrived safely at her destination. And I enjoy seeing a silly picture of the kids covered in flour while Mommy was in the shower.

But, based on my work with couples, and my own experience, I’ve concluded that we need a reminder: Our spouse in our arms is worth more than a phone in our hand.

So what change can your make?

First, take time to evaluate your text messaging habits. Second, talk in person about any needed adjustments. Third, determine to follow through on your plan to reduce text messaging.

Couples report real benefit to exercising restraint in text messaging. At the end of the day, when they’re home together, they are free to share life’s events with emotional intimacy.

As the old saying goes, absence [on the phone] makes the heart grow fonder.

*Note: This post may not apply to those couples who, for a myriad of reasons, actually need electronic communication in order to maintain contact, i.e. traveling spouse, military families, etc.

Join the Conversation

  1. How has text messaging blessed your marriage?
  2. How has text messaging been a hinderance to effective communication?
  3. What strategies to improve face to face talk time have been helpful?

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