2 Steps to Get Unstuck

2 Steps to Get Unstuck

You need to repent of idols of the heart. Idols of the heart are ruling desires of your heart. Begin by identifying the heart with these two questions:

1. Is your desire, “Not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42, NIV)?

2. Or does your cry sound more like demands for security, approval, comfort, and love? 

When you want security, approval, comfort, and love, and get want you demand, pride will fill you. Underneath the veneer of pride and self-righteousness are emotions like anxiety, anger, and discouragement and actions like seething, shouting, nail-biting, insomnia, overeating, and self-loathing.

Just as the prodigal son demanded his way, just as the older son self-righteously sneered at his brother when he returned home, chances are you too have ruling desires of the heart that are unholy.

Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you negative thoughts, critical speech, gossip, bitterness, immorality, and anything else that exposes a self-ruled heart.

You may want to jot down what the Holy Spirit reveals to you. What are the “rotten fruit” that expose the ruling desires of your heart?

Did you know that what rules your heart, rules you?

Faithfully yours,

Lucy

New Tool: MINI Thought Journal!

New Tool: MINI Thought Journal!

The new “Transform Your Thoughts e-Journal” is a simple, effective, and biblical way of journaling your thoughts. As you change your thoughts, you’ll also change your heart and even experience a tranquil life. Get the downloadable here.

In this article, I’ll introduce you to part of the thought journal I developed for my counselees.

Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Romans 12:2a, NLT

Wonderfully, the Transform Your Thoughts e-Journal shows you how to replace life-sapping thoughts with uplifting, God-honoring thoughts. And as the Holy Spirit transforms your thoughts, four things happen. You’ll–:

  1. Become aware of life-sapping, ungodly thoughts.
  2. See a connection among your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
  3. Exchange uplifting, God-honoring thoughts for ungodly thoughts.
  4. Have better emotions and actions.

Your Thoughts Reveal Your Heart

Know these two truths:

  • Your thoughts flow from your heart, which is the seat of your deepest desires.
  • A healthy heart is Christ-centered; an unhealthy heart is me-centered.

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7, NKJV

Indeed, your thoughts become part of your beliefs. And your beliefs remain until new thoughts challenge them. Then new beliefs elbow out the old ones. Thought transformation is NOT behavior modification; it is renewal of your core BELIEF system.

How to Use the Journal

First, describe a difficult circumstance. Then ask, what was going on? Here is an example.

“My husband and I have argued a lot ever since our teen began using marijuana.”

Next, write your thoughts, emotions, and resulting actions. You may think your emotions come first. Actually, thoughts do. Then emotions and actions follow thoughts.

Your journal might look like this:

LIFE-SAPPING THOUGHTS EMOTIONS ACTIONS
“I’m a horrible mother.” Anger, fear, sadness Yelled at teen. Took away her phone. Cried.

Now select a real circumstance from your own life and try it yourself. You’ll benefit the most when you actually do the work of thought journaling. Reading about it isn’t enough. Rather, you need to do it.

Turn Your Thoughts Around 

Let’s start with the “I’m a horrible mother” thought. First, begin with a question: Ask if your thought is true. Is it a fact that you are a horrible mother? Chances are, you are a loving, stressed-out mom who feels scared, angry, and overwhelmed, searching for solutions to help your teen.

Now replace the life-sapping lie “I’m a horrible mother” with an uplifting biblical truth such as, “Even though my daughter’s choice to do drugs upsets me, God promises that he is with me, guides me, and comforts me. He is trustworthy.”

Begin your new thought with something like, “Even though _________________,

God promises __________________________________________.

New emotions and actions replace your old emotions and actions.

Here’s what it looks like:

NEW THOUGHTS NEW EMOTIONS NEW ACTIONS
Even though my teen has made poor choices, God promises to give us wisdom when we ask for it and to be with my family and me. Peace, hope With your spouse, pray and ask God for wisdom.

Thank God.

Smile

Transforming your thoughts is absolutely necessary to live the Christian life!

If you’d like one-to-one help with transforming your thoughts and experiencing a tranquil life, consider setting up a complimentary phone consultation with me to talk about receiving biblical counseling by Skype or FaceTime or Zoom.

Counseling hearts to hope,

lucy-signature-blue

 

 

New Heart, New Desires, New Life! part 3

New Heart, New Desires, New Life! part 3

New heart, new desires, new life! You have a new life in Christ. So it makes sense to not dwell on your past, right? Instead, embrace your true identity in Christ. 

This article by guest writer Deborah Smith, which appeared first here on Reviving Your Heart, tells a story of we all need to hear. Her story is used with permission. Part 3 in a 3-part series. Here’s part 1 and part 2.hope icon

Consider these three beautiful truths:

  • Christians have new hearts.
  • Christians have new desires.
  • And Christians have new life!

So fear, we’ve heard Deborah’s story of overcoming addiction.  Plus she shared how God developed new desires in her heart. Now let’s look at her new life in Christ.

There’s No Sense Dwelling on Your Sinful Past

We are not supposed to dwell on or glorify our sinful past. So I believe that God highlights those sins and reminds us that we were once slaves to those things for a reason. But thanks be to God that He came on a rescue mission. And we are now called “the righteousness of God” (2 Cor. 5:21).

Listen, our lives are not to be characterized by sin. Indeed, We have new hearts and new desires and new life in Christ.

“The old has passed away, BEHOLD, all things have become new!”

John MacArthur says that “maturing means we will sin less but we will feel worse.” What he means is that we won’t be sinless (not this side of glory), but walking with the Lord creates intimacy and closeness.

Therefore, the light of Christ shines brighter and hits all the cracks and crevices in our lives. We have been given new hearts that have become intolerant to sin. More and more, we lose the ability to be okay with even the slightest sin.

So a harsh word becomes a big deal. And a good deed left undone becomes something that bothers us. No more “big sin and little sin.” God hates it all, and so do we!

Delighting in Your New Life

My friends, my desire is that if you are a woman who came to the Lord having had a very sinful and sorted past, that you would know that you are no less pure than the little six-year-old girl who came to know the Lord at VBS.

If you are the six-year old who came to the Lord in VBS, I want you to recognize that you needed to be saved and redeemed as much as the sixty-year-old ex-prostitute. And you should give God praise for that.

If you are a sister who did not come to the Lord as a virgin, you are still marriage material. And if you are a sister who has kept yourself pure and deeply desires a husband, know that you are fully new and complete in Christ alone.

If you are the one who had a child out of wedlock but are now part of the Bride of Christ, you are not disqualified. And if you got married at eighteen, have four beautiful children, and are still married to the same man, Christ must still have first place in your heart.

The truth is, Christian sister, we all have been washed in the blood of Jesus. And He says we are clean and that He is now our treasure. So go forth as a redeemed daughter of the King—glorifying Him with your new life!

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

New Heart, New Desires, New Life! part 2

New Heart, New Desires, New Life! part 2

New heart, new desires, new life — you probably know the God “will give you the desires of your heart” verse in the bible. But what does it mean? This article by guest writer Deborah Smith, which appeared first here on Reviving Your Heart, tells a story of we all need to hear. Her story is used with permission. Part 2 in a 3-part series. Here’s part 1.hope icon

Consider these three beautiful truths:

  • Christians have new hearts.
  • Christians have new desires.
  • And Christians have new life!

Last time we heard Deborah’s story of overcoming addiction. Now let’s look at developing new desires!

New Desires

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart (Ps. 37:4).

Delight means to be pleased greatly, captivated, charmed, thrilled. Does that describe your relationship with Christ?

The fruit of being captivated, greatly pleased, charmed, and thrilled by Him is that He will actually give you the things you desire. You will want new things . . . godly things . . . things that are consistent with the new person that the Holy Spirit is crafting.

 We will want things that the Lord would be pleased to give us.

That doesn’t mean we won’t ever be tempted with fleshly desires, because we will—we are still sinners. But the deepest desire of our heart will be to please the Lord, so we will war against our flesh that wants otherwise. We will resist the devil until he flees (James 4:7).

You Hate the Things You Used to Love

Beloved, we are walking with Jesus now. We are “dead to sin” and have different desires. What a beautiful reality—that as a Christian, we are dead to things that we used to live for. Romans 6:10–11 says,

The death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Oh, I hope you get that! Jesus paid it all, all to Him we owe! So when the enemy tempts you with your old sin of choice, remember that “you are dead to that.”

When I stopped smoking cigarettes thirteen years ago, I remember a good friend telling me that if I find myself thinking, I want a cigarette, that I should simply say to myself, That’s crazy, you don’t smoke! Why would I want a cigarette if I don’t smoke?

Likewise, why would you want that sin when you are dead to that? Again, we are in a process, we will still battle ungodly desires. So we are to be careful to “make no provision for sin.” And we fight, knowing that the power that is in us enables us to “want” it without giving into that desire. We are now free!

New Life

If our hearts are new, and we now want new things, and we are doing new things— that equates to new life, loved ones!

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life (Rom. 6:1–4).

What does it mean to “walk in newness of life”? 

This new life is something that we have to participate in. It’s a gift we have been given, but we must live it out. Even though the good work has begun, we are in a maturation process and it takes time to grow.

At the moment of conversion, the Holy Spirit, who is our helper, came to live within us. He is the source of our power. But we must “be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

You Are God’s Workmanship!

Beloved, if you don’t get anything else, please get this: You and I are “his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we would walk in them” (Eph. 2:10). Do you see that? God’s workmanship . . . we are something that God is preparing, shaping and molding for His purposes.

In 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, the apostle Paul launches into a list of sins that characterize the life of one who is not saved—called the unrighteous—and in verse 11, he says this:

And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

We are not supposed to dwell on or glorify our sinful past, but I believe that God highlights those sins and reminds us that we were once slaves to those things for a reason.

WATCH for Part 3 in this 3-part series. You’ll come to understand that you need not life in the past! Be sure you get it — subscribe to my blog!

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

 

Laughter Heals Your Heart!

laughterLaughter heals! In this uplifting post, which appeared first here, Dr Donna Hart, PhD, shares how having fun and laughing are not only good for you but also pleases God. Donna is listed on our Heart2Heart Counselor Directory.

heart

At a family gathering over the holidays, I enjoyed good food, good friends, and. . .laughter. In a conversation with the family matriarch, affectionately called “Memaw” by her grandchildren, she commented about the embroidered decorations on her sweatshirt and the effects of their strategic placement.

We started to laugh about the private joke between us. And we couldn’t stop laughing. The tears streamed down my face as others around us to start to laugh with us. I cannot remember the last time I laughed that hard. Something about that laughter gave my heart such joy and companionableness.

Are You Too Serious?

Christians have a long-standing reputation for being serious-minded people who are not prone to humor, laughter, or play. In early church history in America, the Puritans did much to cement this reputation of serious piety. They spent long hours in church and rigorous hours in daily Bible study and prayer. They are also known for their restrictions against music, dancing, and bright colors. Holiness seemed to be likened to judgment, suffering, and severity.

But John Wesley recognized the danger of taking this serious attitude to the extreme when he said: “Sour Godliness is the devil’s religion.” And Martin Luther is quoted in Is There Fun After Paul?: A Theology of Clowning:

If you’re not allowed to laugh in heaven, then I don’t want to go there.

Even though we eagerly bring joy, laughter, and good humor into our family lives, often we hesitate to bring the same qualities into our relationship with God. Are we worried that God does not have a sense of humor? If we want to bring laughter and play into our relationship with God, will we need to expand our view of His attributes to include laughter and fun?

Seeing Comedy in Life

To move in this direction, let’s define what a “sense of humor” means. It is a perspective on life that has the ability to see thlaughtere comic in creation, humanity, and the ability to laugh at ourselves. Human relationships do not survive well without the ability to have a sense of humor.

We are all too familiar with how struggles and communication barriers block our ability to know and be known to each other. When we can step back and see the humor in our predicaments, it softens our hearts to move forward toward each other.

The same principle applies to our relationship with God. If all of our prayers are solemn, serious, and focused only on weighty matters of importance, we will miss opportunities for light and playful prayers.

Tears and laughter are often linked in the Bible. Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time to weep and a time to laugh (3:4). Luke 6:21 offers the promise of laughter when he writes “…Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.” It is difficult not to love someone when you are laughing with them. Have you experienced the love that comes from shared laughter?

Laugh Well, Live Better

When we laugh together, we build relationships; we build sympathy for each other, and we become kindred spirits. Good humor and laughter depend on solid trusting relationships. We cannot command laughter nor can we dictate trust.

But we can be willing to seize the funny moments to laugh out loud when least expected, find humor in our own situations. We can share laughter with others and discover love. And we can delight in God and experience God’s unconditional love for us.

If we believe that God will laugh at us if we share our joys and excitements, then we will remain silent for fear of being ridiculed. However, if we can learn the joy of laughter that comes from the love of laughing with someone finding humor in human experiences, we will then learn to laugh with God.

Help for Your Laughter

If you have been hurt by laughter in the past, and this prevents you from laughing now, write a prayer to God about your specific need. As you write your prayer, detail the hurt you have experienced and how the memories still hurt. Be willing to ask God for what you need to heal these hurts. (You might want to try this journal.–Ed.)

Also think about the places in life where you would love to receive the gift of laughter. Pour out your heart and longings to God, for He will not scorn, mock, or belittle you. You can rest in confidence God will not laugh at you.

Counseling Hearts to Hope,

 

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