by Lucy | Feb 7, 2017 | biblical counseling, emotions, whole health wellness |
SELF-CARE: The best self-care is a heart checkup.
In part one of this 3-part series, you’ll discover…
- Why you may bristle at the word “self-care.”
- A definition of heart checkup.
Self-Care Hangup?
Self-care may sound…extravagant, even selfish. But for some of up — my old me! — I didn’t think I deserved self-care. Then I dared to ask myself, What’s my hangup?
Also I considered that Jesus took time to rest, didn’t he? He got away to the mountains and rejuvenated. He hung out with the broken people and lunched. I can imagine him smiling and laughing and cracking jokes.
And I asked myself, Am I denying the reality of my own humanity when I think I’m too busy to watch birds flit about my neighbor’s feeder? Or take time for a walk?
Could I reek with. . .twisted pride?
Reminder: The self-care of rest, exercise, meaningful work, eating well (and, for me, chocolate too!) isn’t selfish when your self-care is “onto the Lord.”
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
But divorced from a Godward focus, self-care can be selfish, wouldn’t you agree? Indeed, your motivation matters.
Heart Checkup
Most people think the heart is the emotional part of a person. Scripture suggests that it is your mind, emotions, and will. So you may compare it to a control center. Your heart controls what you think, feel, say, and do.
Proverbs 4:23 says it well:
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Everything.
But there’s bad news. The Bible says your heart “tricks or deceives us into thinking that our desires are pure, that we want what we want because it is good and God approves,” writes Elyse Fitzpatrick, biblical counselor and author.
During the check up you’ll see whether your thoughts align with God’s thoughts. Also, you’ll find out if your actions and emotions are rotten or good.
By the way, in the counseling office, we focus on the heart. And when the counselee’s heart changes so does her life. But the goal isn’t life transformation per se; it is growth in Christlikeness.
3 Parts of the Heart
As mentioned, “heart” is the word the Bible uses for your mind and your emotions and your will altogether. Your mind, emotions, and will influence one another. Let’s look at the parts of the heart.
Your mind: Your mind involves your ability to understand, reason, and discern. It includes your beliefs and opinions.
Taken aback with news from angels about her son, Mary the mother of Jesus “treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Luke 2:19).
The power of God’s word “judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).
As a man thinks in his heart so is he (Proverbs 23:7, NLT).
Your emotions: You emotions include your moods as well as your longings, desires, and hopes.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation (Psalm 13:5).
If you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts. . . (James 3:14).
Your will: Your will is the part of your inner person that chooses what actions to take. Your mind and emotions inform your will what to do.
Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15).
Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth (2 Corinthians 12:6)
I pray this three-part series helps you understand why your do what you do, so that you can choose God’s best always. Next time will focus on your emotions and thoughts. If you haven’t signed up for my blog and complimentary eBook, please do. Then you’ll get parts 2 and 3 delivered to your inbox.
God bless you as we grow together.
Counseling Hearts to Hope,
by Lucy | Mar 19, 2015 | biblical counseling, emotions, relationships |
Self-neglect is a pit we Christian women may trip into. It may seem good to neglect your own needs as you care for others, but is it? For a clue, let’s listen to a conversation between Jesus and an expert in the Mosaic law.
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher, he asked, What must I do to inherit eternal life? “What is written in the Law? he replied. “How do you read it?”
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” (Luke 10:25-28, NIV)
Love your neighbor as yourself — this imperative has a curious phrase at the end: “as yourself.” It suggests that the importance of caring for and nurturing yourself. It is a healthy self-care.
But — this is important — healthy self-care never goes overboard.
Selfishness Is Easy
Did you know all people are naturally selfish? We come into the world selfish. Babies cry, which is good; their noisy communication gets attention on them! Toddlers are notorious little “No!” people. Teens are known for self-absorption.
Adults are selfish too.
We live in a me-first culture. Isn’t it radical, then, to follow the biblical instruction to “deny yourself” and “put others first”?
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4
Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). This means the Holy Spirit lives in every believer. Honor him with all you say, think, feel, and do, including these areas:
Your Body
You know the basics of physical health, of course: eat well, exercise, and get adequate sleep. Here’s another goodie: Play.
When I became a mom, among the perks was going to the playground with my daughter and going down slides, swinging high and jumping into sand, and getting dizzy on the merry-go-round. I played like a kid, and no one looked at me funny.
As my kids became older and less interested in playgrounds, I’ve found other ways to play like karate. What is your favorite way to move your body and have fun?
Your Emotions
The Bible says a lot about emotions. Did you know that they are neither morally good nor bad? Jesus expressed emotions — from grief and joy, to anger and anxiety. What matters is how you express them.
Picture a two-year old throwing a tantrum. She is angry and acting out. How about a sullen sixth-grader? He allows sadness swallow his joy. Then there’s a forty-year-old full of fear. She’s afraid to get a job because she fears rejection.
An insightful scripture in dealing with emotions is Ephesians 4:14-15.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
To express emotions appropriately, speak the truth in love.
In my biblical counseling to women, I’ve noted that many women who are angry or hurt blow up or clam up. When you blow like a volcano, your angry lava burns everyone around you. Clamming up is no better. Your anger can spiral down to depression.
Your Spirit
Healthy self-care means spending time with God. In addition to reading Scripture, praying, and worshiping in church, why not try an overlooked yet life-changing way to be with God: Christian meditation?
It differs from Eastern or New Age meditation, in which the goal of meditation is emptying one’s mind of all thought. Christian meditation is thinking on a particular Scripture. You fill your mind with God’s truth.
COUNSELING: Do you need hope and help? May I encourage you to try biblical counseling with me, in person or by Skype? I’ve Skype-counseled women, couples, and families all over the U.S., Canada, and elsewhere in the world including Hong Kong and Australia. Leave me a message. Thank you!
