I’m taking a blogging break this week and am running some of your favorite posts. Enjoy. . .again.

Welcome to Real Hurts, Real Hope! I’ve had a place in my heart for this blog long before I thought of it. How do I know? Because you’ve been on my mind, my sweet sister in Christ.

For you I write. I understand, I’ve been there.

Real Hurts, Real Hope was born out of my own pain. Among them was the pain of loneliness and isolation. I’d go to church desiring friendship with godly women, but it seemed everyone was talking to everyone else and they knew the secret handshake or the secret password or whatever and I didn’t. I was the wallflower, just another pretty daisy lost in the lobby.

Can you relate?

Know this, my sweet sister: You are not alone in your emotional and spiritual struggles. You are not alone in the pain that tags along with your physical problems.

Here you are welcome. I encourage you to soak in God’s truth that you are valued, significant and loved. Our God is tender toward you, my sweet sister. He knows your name and has written it on the palm of his hand. He calls you – Beautiful.

Back in the early 1990s, I didn’t understand these biblical truths. . .and I was a follower of Christ. Depression had darkened my mood. Anxiety had rattled my mind too. On top of this tough stuff,  difficult memories jabbed me. Yes, there was my parents’ divorce but something even worse.

How could I tell anyone my pain? Especially women in the church who seemed to have it all together? 

Fast forward to 2000, the year of God’s specific call on my life.

A summer day. Sunny, a soft breeze. Me alone, in prayer.

God whispered to my heart: “Lucy, comfort my sheep who are hurting with the comfort you’ve received from me.”

“Who me?” I asked

“Trust me, Lucy.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Trust me.”

Like the fuzz of a dandelion, my arguments floated away and I said, “Okay, Lord.”

Since then I’ve ministered to hurting Chistian women and to the people who love them. Fearful women. Lonely women. Abused women. Women caught in addiction: shopping, alcohol, pornography. Women who’ve committed adultery. Women with hard pasts. Women like me. Like you.

And now our Lord has led me to write Real Hurts, Real Hope to reach more Chistian women with the truth that God cherishes you and wants to heal you.

Will you journey with me? You’re my dream come true.

You Are Loved!

The phone rang.

7:00.

Seven in the morning? Who’d call this early?

“This is Officer So-and-So of the Elmhurst Police Department. I’m sad to inform you that your mother is. . .”

You never forget a call like that. My mom was only 62.

I already had a lot going on, especially dealing with difficult memories from childhood.

 Now this.

That sounds whiny, like my mom had a fatal heart attack on an inconvenient day fifteen years ago. Like another day would have been better.

No day is good for a mother to die.

I remember saying to God several weeks later, “Why did you kill my best friend?” knowing he didn’t kill her. He brought her home. Brought her home? Home? Heaven is home? But I’m not there with her so how could it be home? What about me?

Whiney again. Grief is whiney sometimes.

The cemetery stood three blocks from my home. It became my almost daily ritual to walk to her spot, bend low and with my finger trace her name and the dates of her birth and death.

CAROL GALE KUPER

11.7.1931 - 1.10.1994

THROUGH DEATH INTO LIFE 

The days after 1.10.1994 blurred. Sometimes I wailed pain from the deepest part of me, a part I didn’t even know I had. Until then.

My pain reliever: music. Sometimes I danced. Sometime I sat, dazed. I allowed myself to feel. Yes, me. Lucy, the girl who had learned to stuff emotions like I stuff a Thanksgiving turkey. . .to overflowing.

The dam burst.

I grieved you well, Mom.

It doesn’t hurt so bad anymore.

Except on your birthday, your death day, and Mother’s Day.

And today. Why today?

I don’t know, Mom. Grief’s like that. Sometimes it plays peek-a-boo.

Question: When you hear the word “grief” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Please share.

You Are Loved!

Envy. It’s among the seven deadly sins.

Envy. Aristotle said “Envy is pain at the good fortune of others.”

Envy. It is a nasty emotion in which one person – the envier – desires a possession or a trait that someone else has.

Have you envied? If we each were brutally honest, I think we’d raise a hand and say, “Guilty.”

My husband and I bought a cozy cape cod in the perfect neighborhood when we were just 24 years old. The problem: Carpenter ants had chomped through the back porch, the roof leaked, a raccoon lived in our attic and the former owners had three big dogs with tiny bladders. Imagine the state of our oak floors: Yuck!

We felt blessed to have the home. We worked at fixing it up (him), making it cute and cuddly (me).

Then on my walks to and from the train station, I eyed the other houses, nicer houses, houses with perfect landscaping, brick, big, and beautiful houses. I grumped to God, “How come my house isn’t as nice as theirs? Huh?”

God gave me a wonderful blessing and I complained.

What was my problem? Envy.

What’s at the root of envy? Fear.

Question: How does envy rear its ugly head in your life?

You Are Loved!

My blogger friend Lynn Mosher asked me to write a guest post for her blog about my God-given passion for helping Christian women discover hope and healing. So here it is, for you. I love to hear your feedback.

Q: Lucy, do you have a Scripture that speaks your heart and defines God’s purpose for your life?

A: I do. It’s this: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV).

The word comfort is used four times. This is no accident. Our God is a God of comfort and compassion. This means a lot to me because I’ve known trouble. Here’s an idea:

Depression. Check.
Panic attacks. Check.
Sexual abuse. Check.
Mentally ill parent. Check.
Dysfunctional home. Check.
Infertility. Check.
Addiction. Check. (For me, people-pleasing.)
A history of family alcoholism. Check.
Lived in a broken home? Check. (My parents divorced, remarried each other and divorced again.)
Recurring negative thoughts. Check. Check. Check.

The best thing is that God comforted me in all my troubles, just as He promises in the verse. Now that I’ve received comfort, I give comfort. He spoke His purpose into my life and called me to counsel hurting Christian women. When I meet women at churches where I speak or visit, I see pain and broken hearts.

Q: Lucy, what type of counseling do you provide?

A: I counsel according to the truths of the Bible. It’s sometimes called biblical counseling or pastoral counseling or soul care. As a counselor friend says, biblical counseling is not “here’s two verses and call me in the morning.” It’s comprehensive.

Q: What do you mean by comprehensive?

A: I really get to know the women I counsel – their struggles, their hopes, where they’ve been and where they hope to go. I listen and give clear direction. Homework, too. I also use a Personal Data Inventory. This helps me know many things, including a need for a doctor’s visit.

Q: What’s your stance on medication?

A: I’m open to the use of medication prescribed by a medical doctor.

Q: Do you meet with your counselees in person or over the phone?

A: Both. Some I meet face-to-face, but I counsel most of my clients over the phone. It’s amazing. With the explosion of technology, women who do not have a biblical counselor in their area can still receive hope and healing through Jesus. I’ve met many of my counselees through Twitter and by word of mouth from other folks on Twitter and Facebook.

Q: What are the advantages to phone counseling?

A: It’s cheaper. This is a big deal in today’s tight economy. Counseling by phone also is convenient. The counselee doesn’t have to drive to an office. It also offers greater anonymity. Some women who’d feel awkward or fearful to make a face-to-face appointment are very willing to share over the phone. Several of my clients have told me this.

Q: What are the disadvantages to phone counseling?

A: The main one is I cannot read my clients’ nonverbal communication. This has yet to be a major problem to helping hurting Christian women find hope and healing. I offer to meet by webcam.

Q: Why can you offer hope and healing despite this disadvantage?

A: I truly believe it’s the power of the Holy Spirit. Before, during and after every phone meeting, I pray for the woman and for me. I pray that the Holy Spirit shows each of us what He desires. This is what He does, every time. It’s amazing.

Q: What training do you have?

A: I graduated from Western Seminary, Portand, Ore., with a diploma in pastoral care for women. In addition, I have taken courses from the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors. I am not a state-licensed counselor, however.

Q: Why haven’t you sought licensure?

A: Two reasons. First, I looked into programs at the university in a neighboring town; I’d have to learn atheistic Freudian concepts and counsel by them in my training. I won’t compromise my religious beliefs. Second, the United States holds the position of “separation of church and state.” My state requires that a person performing a religious function come under a religious adjudicatory body that can attest to that person’s qualifications. In this case my church fulfills this role.

Q: If a woman is interested in finding out more, what should she do?

A: Check out my website and go to the e-counseling page. My website is www.LucyAnnMoll.com. Or email me: Lucy@LucyAnnMoll.com.

Q: Do you have any other words for hurting Christian women?

A: Get help. Jesus wants to heal you. You may feel alone or full of guilt and shame – maybe you’re scared what people would think if they knew the real you. God knows the real you, and He loves you just as you are.

In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus said the most amazing and wonderful thing. Reading the words of the prophet Isaiah, he said, “The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because he has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18-19 NIV)

Then, he rolled up the scroll, sat down, and stated: “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” (Luke 4:20 NIV) Wow.

Are you poor, imprisoned, disabled, or oppressed by life’s troubles?

Hope has come: Jesus.

Question: Has God comforted you in your troubles?

You Are Loved!