anger

Does anger sometimes get the best of you? If we’re honest, we’d all admit to flinging pointy words at a loved one or clamming up. Death by silence, right?

Anger is an emotion you experience when you’ve been wronged, real or perceived.

In this short article, you’ll learn–

  1. Three commons lies.
  2. A practical and doable solution.

Like you, I’ve believed lies about anger. When I was age 3, my mom snapped an embarrassing photo of me. My bottom lip protruded from Chicago to Shanghai, my blue eyes glared. Back then I believed the lie that the best way to handle anger was to not talk about it.

Then a couple years ago, when our family’s health insurance increased a chunk a money each month, I complained to my husband who said, “It could be a lot worse,” then resumed watching TV.

The insensitive clod, I thought.

I responded to his indifference with more quiet anger. Did you know this emotion ranges from mild irritation to frustration to self-pity to rage? 

Lie 1: Anger Is Sinful

Anger is a God-given emotion. It is neither morally right nor wrong. Consider Jesus, fully God and fully man, who never sinned. He became angry at the sight of money changers in the temple.

Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” Matthew 21:12-13, NIV

Some thirty times in Psalms the word anger is used, often referring to God’s anger. God’s anger is always righteous. Righteous anger is holy.

Shepherd-King David implored God regarding his enemies:

Pour out your indignation upon them,
    and let your burning anger overtake them. Psalm 69:24, ESV

Lie 2: Punch a Pillow

The way you express this emotion determines whether it becomes sin, or a violation of God’s will. Ephesians 4:26 says,

In your anger do not sin.

This means it is possible for you to angry without sinning. But let’s be honest: You and I almost always express this emotion by acting out loudly and destructively–yelling, slamming doors, using fists, name-calling, and punching pillows. Or. . .

Lie 3: Hold It In

We bottle it. Bottled anger may set up an unexpected volcanic blow up or even despair and depression.

Did you know that suicide might be considered an extreme and tragic expression of anger turned inward?

The apostle Paul says,

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15, NIV

I used to say awful things to myself. My soul-speak was full of condemnation. When someone hurt me I turned on myself: “You’re not enough” and “You’re a loser.”

Do you tend to hold in your anger? When you speak to your soul, what do you often say?

Practical Solutions

First, know the common sources of anger. They are:

  1. Hurt. When you feel hurt, you may use anger to protect yourself from additional emotional pain.
  2. Fear. When you feel threatened, you may give in to worry because you lack trust in God.
  3. Injustice. When you sense that your rights have been violated, you probably will feel this nasty emotion.

At its root, anger is based on a wrong belief that life should be fair.

When you believe that life should be fair, and you’ve been mistreated, you’ll probably think your anger is justified, even good. You may believe that expressing it–loudly or quietly–is your right.

angerSecond, exchange your wrong belief with a right belief. This is was a right belief sound like.

Right belief: “God is in control of all my circumstances so I can trust him and give him my rights. I believe that when I act upon the truth of the Bible, no matter how I feel, God will bring about a good result. I choose to allow my anger to motivate me to do what God wants me to do.”

Finally, look upon anger as a type of warning signal.  It tells you something is amiss. Recognizing you feel anger helps you stomp lies about it and choose to handle it well.

May I Pray for You?

Heavenly Father,

Please help me when I feel angry. Let it be a motivator to speak the truth in love to the person who has wronged me or to simply accept a situation that seems unfair. Give me patience and deeper faith. Amen.

An Offer

Did you know that I offer a complimentary phone consultation to women who are hurting? To ask for his consultation, please contact me and we’ll schedule it. No obligation. 🙂

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,

lucy-signature-blue

Find GOD's Freedom from Anxiety

 Get My FREE Anxiety Helper Pack!

Choice is a wonderful gift from God. You do NOT have to be stuck in self-focused anxiety. You can find God’s freedom.

You have Successfully Subscribed!