Many marriages need a tune-up. Some require an overhaul. What about yours? With God’s help, your marriage can be the best!

When asked, “Who’s your best friend?” many wives give a quick reply: “My husband.”

But even friends have arguments, don’t they? The best of friends make up.

Some husbands and wives get in a rut and live like. . .roommates. Life becomes perfunctory, blah, boring. Has the spark in your marriage flickered? Is your marriage less exciting that the flat stretch of a Midwest interstate?

There’s great news! God cares deeply about the bond between a husband and wife. He wants you to have a marriage filled with meaning, compassion, and most importantly, holiness.

Holiness? As Gary Thomas writes in Sacred Marriage,

What if God designed marriage to make up holy more that to make us happy?

Yes, your marriage can be a road that brings you closer to God.

Here are two true stories of real marriages. How might the gospel speak truth and love into them? Names and some details have been changed.


Jessica’s husband stinks. He has bad breath that could slay Goliath. He also is a mess. He leaves out his cereal bowl, the newspaper, his boxers. He misses the toilet, too. All this is driving Jessica crazy. “If he cared about me, he’d show basic common courtesy,” she says. There’s more.

He flirts with pretty ladies right in front of her.

Jessica has talked with her husband about other women, personal hygiene, and sloppiness. He deflects her comments, saying that she can clean his dishes and urine since it bothers her, not him, and that she can leave the conversation when he flirts.

What is the husband’s ruling desire in the marriage? What is the wife’s? How would you counsel Jessica?

A #1 Son Story

Susanna’s husband has a best friend: their 30-something, college-educated son who lives at home. She thinks their son should move out. Her husband says he should stay.

Though he works, the son doesn’t pay rent, contribute to the bills, or help around the house or yard.

Susanna deeply loves her son and wants the best for him, and she knows his leeching is not only wrong, but also damaging to him and his parents’ relationship.

What is the husband’s ruling desire in the marriage? What is the wife’s? What would you say to Susanna if she asked you for advice?

Did You Know?

Did you know that marriage teaches you to love and to respect one another? That it helps you learn to forgive? to laugh? to pray more deeply?

As you and your husband honor God above all, you’ll experience a full life and you’ll probably have a happy marriage too.

Don’t we often get things out of order? Call it worship dysfunction! When all is in the right order as God lays out, you’ll not only enjoy your marriage but also see God’s overarching purpose. Wouldn’t this give you purpose and peace?

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

P.S. Do you need help with your marriage? As you probably know, I am a seminary-trained, certified biblical counselor who counsels women and families by Skype and in person in greater Chicago. If you’d like to take advantage of my 15-minute introductory consultation, please contact me.

Sharing Hope with Your Heart,



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