FEAR HAD A HOLD ON ME. Then I learned how to overcome it. Here’s my story
The trouble began when I got the promotion. Me, the new managing editor of a health and food magazine. My supervisor Sally, the new executive editor.
I waltzed into the art department on promotion day, scanned the next month’s magazine cover, and complimented the art director on his good work. My supervisor steel-stared my way. She snarled something in my direction, I forgot what, but I remember her angry tone.
Hurt, confused, frazzled–these described my emotions. I took it personally. I was a mess. Click & Tweet!Freaky Fear Story
The very second I could escape, I rushed to the parking lot and away from Sally’s dagger glances. Revving the motor of my blue hatchback, I zoomed toward the six-lane highway that would take me home: a cozy Cape Cod refuge for my husband Steve and me. And Laces, a beige pile of fluff and meows.
At sixty miles per hour, I exhaled and began planning a promotion celebration dinner – deep-dish pizza, his half with sausage, my half veggies – and tried, tried, TRIED to push Sally’s strange behavior out of my thoughts.
But as my tiny car neared the “Split,” where one half of the highway veers north, the other half south, my body’s reactions revealed my inner turmoil and fear.
My heart beat double-time.
Sweat beaded my forehead.
My knees felt jiggly like Jell-O.
Fingers paled as I clutched the steering wheel. My mind entertained crazy thoughts while I took a curve. “Drive into the ditch. Drive into the ditch.”
I spoke back to my crazy.
“Stay on the highway, Lucy. You’re going to be okay. Your exit is a mile ahead. You can make it.”
Have you experienced the physical symptoms of fear? All of us have on occasion. Remember speaking in front of a class? Did your voice shakes, your hands tremble, or your skin glows with perspiration? How did you calm yourself? Did you take a deep breath? Imagine your classmates in their underwear?
While an estimated 5 percent of the U.S. population has experienced a panic attack, the vast majority of my counselees deal with everyday fears like worry. But more and more have debiliating anxiety and panic attacks. A sign of the times? Perhaps. When you’re panicking, you feel all alone. I know I did.
More Fear, Greater Desire for Control
Fear drives some women (and men) into self-protective, controlling, freaked-out bundles of nerves. Click & Tweet!Did you know the more you fear, the greater you feel the need to protect and control? Yet your attempt to protect and control leads to more fear and even greater protective and controlling thoughts, emotions, and actions. A downward spiral, anxiety (without the intervention of godly counsel) worsens.
Like other emotions, fear is experienced in our mind and in our body. When we fear danger, your body goes on high alert. Neurotransmitters sends messages to the body to flee, flight, or freeze. Then hormones, including adrenaline, flood the bloodstream and the body reacts as I described above.
As you noticed, when I felt intense panic, I was in no real danger. There wasn’t a sixteen-wheeler careening into my car. The perceived danger began in my mind. Just as I experienced years of occasional, intense fear that began in my imaginations in the decades to come, I also learned though biblical counseling that I could cooperate with God’s instruction to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
For extra help, check out this resource: Transform Your Thoughts Journal — a quick, easy download.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2, NIV)
This became my hope. . .that mind renewal through the power of the Holy Spirit would lead to my healing, but I had work to do too: Believe God every moment!
Put Off, Put On
Back to my story for a sec. Stubborn and hopeful, I drove home from work on the highway the next day and the day after that, each time experiencing intense fear. My mind entertained thoughts of quitting my job. I was becoming a slave to my fear.
My husband and I devised a plan: I’d stay off highways and drive the 40-miles-per-hour roads to and from work. The plan helped and kept me employed, but failed to solve the root problem. Click & Tweet!
The problem: an ingrained habit of fear.
My solution: avoid highways.
God’s solution: put off fear, put on an active faith in God.
I know this may sound simplistic. The answer to overcome fear was to unlearn the fear habit and rely on God to provide everything I needed for victory. “Jesus Take the Wheel” by Carrie Underwood later became a favorite.
I unlearned my bad habit by consciously taking baby steps.
First, I drove on a two-lane highway with my husband in the passenger seat. Then I tried driving a four-lane highway with my husband in the passenger seat. I kept at it, graduating to driving by myself on highways. Then my fear returned and I started over.
Like other habits, the habit of fear needs God’s power to dislodge it.
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Counseling Hearts to Hope,
Hi, I’m bhupinder singh from India. I’m not good in english but still gonna try’in explain myself. As per your question I have had a lot-lot of fears in My Life; a lot of them I’ve been able to overcome through the Help of Christ Jesus, but i still do have a lot of fears. One of them is the fear of writing or doing any other work in public in which I need to use my hands, because from my childhood the palms of my hand sweat a lot, even my hands got all wet. Sweat literally starts falling from my hands, especialy whenever I write in public or before another person. I’ve consulted doctors; they say it’s just nervousness and “it’ll go as you grow up more.” Well I’m 27 years old; I don’t know how much more I need to grow up to get rid of this!! #OnlyGodCanHelpMe
Dear friend,
Thank you for reading my blog post and for sharing your story. Sharing helps us help each other. Thank you. It is good you went to a doctor to find out if you have a physical condition that explains your perspiring hands that interfere with your life. You said the doctor mentioned nervousness. It is very possible that anxiety is the reason for your condition. Often when people feel nervous, their hands become clammy or they perspire on their face, back, and other places. You seem to indicate that this happens in public only. This would be another signal that the problem is anxiety. The good news, you do not have to “grow up more” in order to be free. You can find healing through Jesus Christ by the power of his Holy Spirit and by applying biblical principles to your particular situation. Feel free to email me at Lucy@LucyAnnMoll.com and we can talk more.
I’ll be waiting for your next post on Wednesday. Please remember to post the link on twitter. Thank you and God Bless You!!!!:)
Yes, I will make sure the link is posted to Twitter. What is your Twitter name? I can “mention” you so you are certain to see it. Blessings, Lucy
I am afraid of heights, water, other people but really tops everything is emotions especially mine. I am afraid of everyone so to the point protecting my self by living in my own private bubble and prison. I don’t want that anymore so i am confronting my fears. God gives me strength to do this and i am no longer a prisoner of my own making….
God is helping you now. Sharing your pain is one of many God-given ways toward healing. God bless you, Joni. He loves loves loves you. 🙂
Great post. I’m looking forward to your next one.
Fear has crippled me in the past–relationships, heights, enclosed spaces, PTSD, lots of different things. So much so, that I would have panic attacks.
Through God’s help–and the help of a recovery group, counseling, and medication for depression/bipolar disorder–I am stable and am able to use God’s word to trample down the things that set themselves against the knowledge and truth of Christ. (Love that verse!)
Even better, I am now able to help others who are going through similar things.
Journaling and writing things out has helped me to process things–to understand the deeper emotions that are swirling in my heart and the thoughts that are hiding in my mind.
Thanks for sharing!
Big hugs,
Daphne
Thanks for sharing, Daphne. I am overjoyed that God has healed you and continue to heal you as you comfort others who have gone through the pain of paralyzing fear. God bless you in your care. Blessings, Lucy
Thanks for sharing Lucy! We all have fears, so it’s definitely applicable. I always think “be anxious for nothing” and “fear not, for I am with you”, but I still have the feeling. Though, the more I learn the truth of God, the less I fear. My fears have become so many fewer than they used to be 🙂 Can’t wait for the next one! Thanks for sharing!
I, too, am in a much better place than I was years ago. I continue to struggle with fear. When the temptation to fear comes on me, I try to consistently use God’s Word and his truth to remind myself of who he is and who I am in him. This is key: to submit to God’s will and to trust him.