We women can stumble into a dangerous trap as we help others.

The pitfall of self neglect.

It may seem holy and right to neglect your own needs as you care for others, but is it?

Scripture presupposes you love yourself.

Of course, loving God is most important. As you love God, you’ll want to love others and yourself. Listen.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher, he asked, What must I do to inherit eternal life?

‘What is written in the Law?’ he replied. ‘How do you read it?’

He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

‘You have answered correctly,’ Jesus replied. ‘Do this and you will live.’ (Luke 10:25-28, NIV)

Love God and love your neighbor as yourself — this imperative has a curious phrase at the end: “as yourself.” It suggests you care for, protect, preserve, and nurture yourself. Some women have a problem with this.

How can you help a hurting friend when you’re falling to pieces?

Your Body

You know the basics of physical health: eat well, exercise, and get adequate sleep. Have you considered play?

Among the mommy perks was going down slides, swinging high and jumping into sand, and getting dizzy on the merry-go-round. And laughing. I played like a kid, and no one looked at me funny.

As my kids became older and less interested in playgrounds, I found other playful outlets like karate.

Do you include play in your schedule? Think of one or two ways you can “play” this week. Write them on your calendar.

Your Emotions

Emotions are neither morally good nor bad. Jesus expressed emotions — from grief and joy, to anger and anxiety. What matters is how you express them.

1. Picture a two-year old throwing a tantrum. She is angry and acting out.
2. How about a sullen sixth-grader? He allows sadness swallow his joy.
3. Then there’s a twenty-something full of fear. She’s afraid to get a job or to make new friends because she may face rejection.

An insightful scripture in dealing with emotions is Ephesians 4:14,15:

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

In this word picture the waves and winds of life upset believers. Influencing their emotions are bad teaching and nasty scheming. To grow up and express emotions appropriately, this Scripture says to speak the truth in love.

In my biblical counseling to women, many discover how to do this and have turned around relationships with spouses and adult children.  How does speaking the truth in love steady your emotions?

Your Spirit

Loving God and yourself means spending time with your Maker. You know the common ways: reading Scripture, praying, and worshiping in church. An overlooked yet life-changing way to touch God: Christian meditation.

It differs from Eastern or New Age meditation, in which the goal of meditation is emptying one’s mind of all thought. Christian meditation is thinking on a particular Scripture. You fill your mind with God’s truth.

Do you meditate on Scripture? How has meditation helped you worship God?

The other day, I opened to Genesis and read the first chapter. I focused on two scriptures: 1:1 and the phrase, “And there was evening, and there was morning — the first day” (1:5). And the second day, the third day and so on.

As I meditated, I felt an amazing sense of peace. He reassured me that he’s in charge, has a plan, and can handle anything. Meditation led to an expression of praise through worship.

When you love God first, you want to love your neighbor and yourself too.

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Hope and Blessings!