Celebrate Friends IRL. . .and Online!
Friends are water to the soul. They lift you up and nourish you. Which is better for your overall well-being? In-real-life (IRL) friends or online friends? Or does it matter?
Friendships! Research shows that mutually supportive, caring friendships give us a sense a belonging, reduce stress, and increase longevity. They make life richer.
A scare-your-pants-off article in Newsweek hints that online friendships can be bad for you. Why? Spending time online — and thus sites like Facebook — may rewire your brain, resulting in loneliness, depression, even psychosis. Is this true?
Are online friendships bad for your health? Put another way, should you close your Facebook account? Today?
Ah, no.
Here is the view of another journalist who also looked at the scary research and takes a common-sense approach to spending time online.
What God Says
More important, what does God say about friendships?
Listen to this:
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
and this:
The righteous choose their friends carefully,
but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 12:26)
and this verse too:
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God —I say this to your shame. (1 Corinthians 15:33,34)
By the way, there is no biblical command to avoid online friends. . .for good reason. 😉
Choose Friends Wisely
The meaning of these bible verses is clear: Spend your time with friends who are becoming more and more like Christ. You and I tend to model the words, actions, and thinking of the people we hang with. Of course, it’s all right — even good — to be in the company of sinners. Jesus was. This brief passage shows him breaking bread with messy people.
Like Jesus, when you and I have friends who do not love Jesus, our purpose needs to be this: putting their most important need first, that is, knowing Christ.
What if your best friend is your husband and he’s an unbeliever? God provides this comfort and instruction.
In Real Life
Nothing beats a hug from a reach-out-and-touch friend in good times and in tough times, and ((((hug))))) typed in a Facebook status is nice but not the same. Agree?
Also, in the bible, we hear this instruction:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:24,25).
The upshot: Make and keep Christian girlfriends.
Online Friends
Check out these stories of my kids’ assertion that my Facebook friend aren’t real friends AND how I met an online girlfriend in person and why it was meaningful to me. Hugs, tears, and more hugs, more tears. . .and my husband’s Cheshire cat smile.
Friends, please stop by my Facebook page — Lucy Ann Moll, Christian Counselor
Let’s Chat
What influence has Facebook and other “friend” sites has on your IRL (in real life) friendships?
I do agree that a (((hug))) from Facebook is nice, but not as comforting as a real hug. I do appreciate, however, a (((hug))) because I have friends that live to far to see and it’s nice to know they are still thinking of me.
The righteous choose their friends carefully,
but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 12:26)
I have chosen some friends I shouldn’t have in the past. I am too trusting. I am so glad I read this today. Thank you Lucy, this is very inspiring.
Hi, Jennifer. I think most of us have chosen friends who have had a bad influence on us. What’s important is we learn to choose close friends more carefully in the future and to teach our children to do the same. Thanks for your comment. You’re an encouragement. 🙂
I love my friends who I can see in person, and hug with needing a hug; or be there if I can offer a hand, to one in need. However, I also love to communicate with others,that I consider my friends, by internet. Paul wrote many letters to his friends (churches) from a prison. I always think of my opportunity to share what is in my heart with anyone who is a believer and perhaps some who might not KNOW Him will come to recognize HIM and find his friendship through the words of those who belong to him…..even on f/b. In answer to your question….ALL friendships are important that are birthed through the Holy Spirit. Thank You, Your question was thought provoking and prayer motivational.
I love your reference to Paul. He kept in contact through letters. He also had friends who attended him in person. I’m glad my question motivated prayer. Blessings, Lucy
I really do not have people very serious about their spiritual lifes in my real life but I do have some very spiritual friends added on twitter or fb & I thank God for social sites because through all this I can connect n able to know n listen/study Godly People, such as You are Lucy!!! But this thing cannot be denied that using fb etc. Have effected my real life both in positive & negative ways, sometimes, So balance is the key i think?!?!