Her words belittled her kids. “Don’t eat that. You look like a whale.” “Katie, you spilled your juice again. Can’t you do anything right?”
They sliced and diced her husband. She shared, ”When he gets home, he goes on the iPad and plays games. ”He doesn’t spend time with me. I need help around here.”
She wore a scowl. Her family noticeable cringed when she walked in the room.
What a Bad Attitude Looks Like
A bad attitude may show itself as sharp words and an angry face. Or as complaints and ingratitude. Or self-pity. I’m guilty of the latter. Thank God he keep his promises and helped me and the women I counsel find hope and healing. You’ll hear the solution to a bad attitude in a moment.
First, a snippet of my story.
When my husband and I adopted our first child, we were beyond excited. We had pictured a happy baby who sometimes pooped, occasionally cried and always wanted snuggles.
And for the first three weeks of her little life, Laura did just that.
But then, on DAY 22, Laura became a monster, also known as a colicky baby. Equally bad, I turned on my husband and he ragged me.
When she screamed, my hubby glared at me and gave advice. Don’t some guys think their the next Dr. Phil? He said I might be holding her wrong or giving her too much milk, or too little, or playing with her too much or not enough. Or. Or. Or.
I turned inward: “Bad mother, bad mother.” Oh, how I quadrupled my emotional pain with name-calling. Have you called yourself names too?
My real problem: a bad attitude.
My focus was on me, me and me.
Yet the Bible says, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5). I had read this verse but failed to put it into action. I held tight to selfish negativity and toxic thoughts.
Why do we women tear ourselves to pieces? What negative words do you say to yourself?
Hope to the Rescue
A bad attitude signals a deeper problem. Your deeper problem is NOT:
- Tons of debt
- Health problems
- Nasty office politics
- A messy home
- Bad upbringing
- Barak Obama or the Republicans or the Tea Party
Sure, these things influence your attitude. However, they do not determine it.
This is fantabulous news!
Honest. It means you can exchange a bad attitude for the good and experience inner contentment.
Thousands of women I’ve counseled by Skype, in person, and through my blog and social media now know the this truth and are applying it to their lives daily.
The Killing Solution
1. Recognize the real problem. The real problem is sin, or the poverty of love. It is a refusal — conscious or nonconscious — to love God and our neighbor.
2. Stop listening to the world’s lies. That if only you were smarter or prettier or healthier or richer, your bad attitude would magically disappear. You might want to try choosing uplifting TV, movies, and books.
3. Know your identity in Christ. The Bible teaches that the gospel of Jesus Christ — the good news of what he has already done for us — transforms our lives.
Did you know that many Christians forget this? We get so busy at home and church that we take our eyes off Jesus.
The distraction of busyness is among Satan’s prettiest temptations and ugliest lies.
4. Keep reminding yourself of God’s truth. We who look to Jesus to supply Real Hope for Real Hurts are beautiful in God’s eyes. We are saints. We are blessed. We are loved. We are forgiven. We are righteous.
Even when we mess up.
You are God’s beloved daughter, sweet sister. You make God smile.
I want to leave you with two practical suggestions to help kill your bad attitude.
Today select your favorite Bible verse on God’s love and say it to yourself a bunch of times. I really like John 10:10. It shows me where I was then and whose I am now.
The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I(Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Listen to your self-talk. Whenever your self-talk reveals a bad attitude, tell yourself God’s truth. You might repeat the Bible verse you chose or you might listen to praise music, reach out to a godly girlfriend and talk about your attitude, or pray.
You also have the option of biblical counseling, which is loving, effective, and God-honoring.
Sweet sister, please stop by my Facebook Page and let me see your beautiful smile.
Blessings to You, Lucy