We each endure days, weeks, months, even years when nothing seems to go right.

My friend Sweetie told me of a crazy day — and I may get my details messed up (sorry, Sweets) — when the clothes washer overflowed her kitchen with bubbles on. . . her wedding day. I giggled as she divulged the details.

Attitude is everything, isn’t it?

A couple decades ago, I’d grumble grumble grumble if my car’s radio had static. In July when the family zipped north for fun in the sun — and my 11-year-old minivan’s A/C blew hot air — I put my hair in a pony, grabbed a cool water bottle and finished my Jodi Picoult novel.

But bubbles on a wedding day and hot air on vacation are NOTHING compared to what some of you are facing today: grief, a messy marriage, teens in trouble, bankruptcy, job loss, poor health. What do you need?

A bible verse? Probably not.

A chicken casserole? Nah.

An “it’ll be okay” sentiment. Nope.

You need what Jesus needed. Someone to listen, to encourage. He turned to his Father. We can too, of course. But would you also like a friend who listens or is willing to sit with you and say nothing?

Several years ago I finished my Pastoral Care to Women studies at Western Seminary, Portland, Ore. Now I’m getting workshops ready for women’s ministries at small- and medium-sized churches to help them help the women in their congregations and communities. Women like me. Women like you. Women whose lives are less than perfect.

Want to know more about my workshops or my e-counseling? Email me at Lucy@LucyAnnMoll.com or stop by my website.

You Are Precious!

Bob Kellemen is a like-minded friend. We’re both biblical counselors, though he has many more letters after his name than I do, and we follow a call to help folks find hope and healing. His latest book is God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. It is sponsored by GriefShare, a Christ-centered ministry with support groups worldwide.

Easy to read, practical and uplifting, this slim volume promises hope. It debunks the psychological model of Swiss-born psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who popularized a five-stage model of grieving based upon her research into how terminally ill persons respond to the news of their terminal illness. Her five stages have since been used worldwide to describe all grief responses: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

In his book, Bob says these “proposed stages in the grief process seek to track typical grief responses. However, they do not attempt to assess if this is what is best to occur. Nor could they assess, simply through scientific research, whether these responses correspond to God’s process for hurting (grieving) and hoping (growing). We must understand something about research in a fallen world. At best, it describes what typically occurs. It cannot, with assurance and authority, prescribe what should occur.”

He shares the Bible’s answer to moving through the grief process.

“Readers are gravely disappointed when the answers to their questions about suffering reflect more of the wisdom of the world than of the truth of God’s Word,” he says. “Christians long for an approach that faces suffering honestly and engages sufferers passionately—all in the context of presenting truth biblically and relevantly. We need to be able to face life’s losses in the context of God’s healing.

“Jesus did.”

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses includes questions for discussions and for journaling. It’s valuable wisdom and encouragement for women or men who suffer any life loss, including divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one.

To read a sample chapter or to purchase, click here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

You Are Valuable!

Alice Wisler combines two passions: writing novels and helping grieving moms. Like her.

She is my special guest on The Sisterhood of Beautiful Warriors Blog Talk Radio show on Tuesday, June 8, at 1 p.m. Central. Join us live or listen to the archive later in the day.

At age 4, her son Daniel died of complications related to the cancer he bravely fought for eight long months. A staph infection invaded his little body,  and he couldn’t fight it off, for the chemo and radiation had compromised his immune system.

Had he lived, Daniel would have graduated from high school this week.

“The first year after a death of a child is like having the worse noise possible running through your head each day and night. There is no way to turn the horrendous sounds off because there is no off button,” Alice shared in one of her writings.

“I wrote through that noise. I wrote from the heavy bag of emotions bereaved parents must carry–anger, guilt, sorrow and confusion, all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘how comes’ and ‘whys.’

“I wrote of longing for a blond-haired boy with blue eyes whose laughter brightened hospital rooms. A quiet spot under weeping willows at a local park is where I carried my pen, journal and pain. As I wrote over the course of many months, I was, although I didn’t realize it at the time, providing therapy for myself.

“Some days when the weather did not permit a trip to the park and my body and mind harbored excruciating pain, I shut myself in a room, away from my other children and husband. I’d grab my journal and let the experiences of the day and my feelings freely emerge onto each white page. Grammar didn’t matter, penmanship went out the window. These aren’t a concern when you are writing to survive.

“Writing the heartache, complete and honest, is a way of healing. Our cry is, “Help me with this pain!” We find ourselves lamenting as King David did in Psalm 13:2, ‘How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?’ David wrote many of his psalms starting with anger and agony and gradually, ending with hope.”

Starting with anger and agony and gradually, ending with

hope.

If you’ve lost a child, you understand. If you’ve lost a sibling, a parent, a friend, you understand.

But I think there’s something extra crazy about losing a little one. We moms are supposed to outlive our kids, right?

In a perfect world, yes.

We live in a fallen world. Knowing this fails to lessen the pain. Finding hope in spite of the mess is the core of my work as a biblical counselor, speaker, author and radio show host.

On Alice’s website, you will not only find her three novels – Rain Song, How Sweet It Is and Hatteras Girl (the first two are Christy award finalists, the third comes out in October) – but also her wonderful Write the Heartache blog and her Write the Heartache Workshops.

The also began Daniel Publications and has written two cookbooks with recipes from grieving moms. She offers remembrance cards too. Please join us.

You Are Loved,

Appearances can be deceiving. You’ve heard that statement, maybe even said it. You may live a “perfect” life like speaker and author Carol Kent. All was well. Just a few bumps in the road.

And. . .

then, her only son. . .

murdered a man and. . .

now is jailed.

She is the mom of a convict. And she is thankful. God opened her eyes to a new ministry.

Watch her e-counseling video.  Then come back to hear of her and her husband’s awesome ministry to prisoners. Ready?

An adult son or daughter in jail. Tragic. Have you been there in one way or another? Me too. I’ve never faced jail time, but I have several friends — women in my church — who have loved ones doing time right now.

Here’s how Carol Kent and her husband turned this tragedy to blessings. Click HERE.

You are not alone, Beautiful Warrior, in whatever you face today. It’s okay to get mad, sad, grieve. Just don’t stay there. To your heart toward heaven and chat with your Abba Father.

You Are Cherished!