Author and speaker Amanda Schwab may be the next Dr. Ruth. . .for Christian women.

She is my special guest on Tuesday’s Blog Talk Radio show, “Sisterhood of Beautiful Warriors,” at 1 p.m. Central. We’ll be talking about sex, openly and honestly, encouraging women with sexual struggles. OK, I guess that’s all women, right?

Hubby wants sex sex and more sex and you just want to hold hands.

Or you crave physical intamacy and he’s too tired.

Or he’s haunted by images of the sex partner he had BM (before marriage). Or is this you?

An affair? Past sexual abuse? A busy home bursting with kids?

Amanda will talk about the misconceptions on sex and solving sexual struggles on Tuesday. Join us, please. She’ll give away a copy of her book Woman Beautiful: Embracing the Woman God Created You to Be, which hits the six areas that cause God-fearing women the most trouble, from mental, relational, and spiritual problems to figuring out how to overcome financial, physical, and sexual struggles. To enter the book giveaway, leave a comment below.

Her frank approach of the sex chapter surprised me. You don’t see this level of honesty very often. I asked her to talk about sex on the radio. Of course, Lucy. . .and did you know I’m writing another book on that very subject.

More sex?

Yep. It’s titled Sex, Submission & Spirituality: The Things Men Really Need to Know, due out this winter.

Amanda has personal experience. What wife doesn’t?

She shared with me:

“Five years into our marriage John withdrew from me sexually, completely. I didn’t know the exact problem, but pressed through to find out. I went to the Lord and told him that I was prepared to hear whatever John had to say.

“When I asked if he was having an affair, he replied, ‘Not yet.’ He then said, ‘It’s you. When I touch you there’s nothing there. When you touch me there’s nothing there. I love you, but I‘m not in-love with you. I don‘t know if I want to spend the next fifty years with you.’ As you can imagine, I was absolutely devastated. I began crying, uncontrollably.

“I really struggled with my identity as John’s wife as well as my sexuality. I, like most women, found so much of my identity in being John’s wife that now, I really had no idea who I was. I feared rejection all of my life but had never experienced it like that.

“For the first two weeks after our conversation I struggled with wanting to commit suicide. I’m ashamed to say that Christ was not enough for me to want to keep living. Yet, thankfully, four little girls were. Because suicide would not be an option, John’s rejection forced me to seek the Lord.”

Powerful stuff, huh.

Join me and Amanda, the Christian “Dr. Ruth,” on Tuesday at 1 p.m. Can’t make it? Listen to the archive.

You Are Beautiful!

This gift of blessing is rare today. Few receive it, few give it.

One reason my friend Deena could give this gift is she received it. . .in an unlikely place:

a home for runaway girls.

Abuse had punched holes in Deena’s childhood so she left as a young teen. The godly woman who ran the shelter embraced Deena. In the pages of the Bible and through this woman’s blessed acceptance, Deena learned the good news that God has a different-kind-of-crazy love for her, a sacrificial, selfless love that gives and doesn’t take and definitely doesn’t abuse.

“She spoke words of life into my soul,” Deena remembers. “I felt special, unique, loved. I’ll never forget what she did for me, what God did for me.”

Jesus received the blessing too.

As he was baptized by John the baptizer in the Jordan River, his heavenly Father spoke well of him. ”And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.’”

Question: Who will you bless today with words of affirmation?

You Are Blessed!

Julie Staiger had every reason to hope no more.

I’ll tell you why in a sec. First, an invitation: Please tune in to the Sisterhood of Beautiful Warriors blog talk radio show, which I host every Tuesday at 1 p.m. Central. Listen live or to the archive later in the day or week. You’ll receive comfort, encouragement, even a few laughs.

That said, let me tell you about Julie.

Over two years, she became ill,

was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease,

moves out of state away from family and friends,

grieved the loss of her mother-in-law,

became pregnant (even though the doctors said she couldn’t) and found out she was carrying triplets (with no use of fertility drugs), one of whom might die,

had a seizure while pregnant,

then another,

five days after giving birth, found out her home had dangerous black mold, 

now homeless, bunked with various families while searching for a permanent place,

had no income after her pastor-hubby resigned his position,

then two more relatives die,

more seizures, and

was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

Too many trials! Who can endure them? Listen to the show to hear the rest of the story. Miracles abound: the tumor disappears and doctors can’t explain why, all three babies are healthy and thriving, and Julie learned how to get up and walk through anything, praise God.

You Are Loved!

Do you have a burden for single women? How about troubled teens? Are you energized to open your home to others and make them feel welcome? Do you like comforting folks by bringing them meals or sending them cards?

God wired each of us for a purpose. I’m wired to encourage hurting Christian women find hope. Do you know how you’re wired? Do you know your heart’s passion?

In other words, what gets you out of bed other than the need for a caffeine fix? Continue reading this post over at Take Root & Write, where I have the column Counselors’ Coach.

You Are Amazing!

Bob Kellemen is a like-minded friend. We’re both biblical counselors, though he has many more letters after his name than I do, and we follow a call to help folks find hope and healing. His latest book is God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. It is sponsored by GriefShare, a Christ-centered ministry with support groups worldwide.

Easy to read, practical and uplifting, this slim volume promises hope. It debunks the psychological model of Swiss-born psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who popularized a five-stage model of grieving based upon her research into how terminally ill persons respond to the news of their terminal illness. Her five stages have since been used worldwide to describe all grief responses: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

In his book, Bob says these “proposed stages in the grief process seek to track typical grief responses. However, they do not attempt to assess if this is what is best to occur. Nor could they assess, simply through scientific research, whether these responses correspond to God’s process for hurting (grieving) and hoping (growing). We must understand something about research in a fallen world. At best, it describes what typically occurs. It cannot, with assurance and authority, prescribe what should occur.”

He shares the Bible’s answer to moving through the grief process.

“Readers are gravely disappointed when the answers to their questions about suffering reflect more of the wisdom of the world than of the truth of God’s Word,” he says. “Christians long for an approach that faces suffering honestly and engages sufferers passionately—all in the context of presenting truth biblically and relevantly. We need to be able to face life’s losses in the context of God’s healing.

“Jesus did.”

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses includes questions for discussions and for journaling. It’s valuable wisdom and encouragement for women or men who suffer any life loss, including divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one.

To read a sample chapter or to purchase, click here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

You Are Valuable!

Do you ever wonder where Father-God is when we suffer? Or, have you asked, “If God really loves me, why didn’t he protect me from the abuse?”

Do you struggle with forgiveness: of yourself, others, and

even God?

Then meet Karen Rabbitt, the author of her memoir, Trading Fathers: Forgiving Dad, Embracing God. She is my special guest on Tuesday’s BlogTalkRadio show at 1 p.m. Central. You may listen LIVE to the archive, available minutes after the show. Want to call in with a question? The call-in number is 347-850-8893. You also may win a copy of Karen’s book. Simply enter the book giveaway.   

Trading Fathers is Karen’s story of her years-long struggle stemming from sexual molestation by her dad that began at age 4.

As a young adult, when Karen became a Christian, she expected immediate relief from her emotional pain.

Not to be.

Karen continued to experience shame, depression, and emotional instability. After her second emotional crisis in her twenties, God challenged Karen to do the seemingly impossible:

forgive her father.

If you’ve been there, you’ll identify with her denial, depression, anger, and. . .I hope. . .the moment she finally made peace with the consequences of her father’s abuse.

Karen shares a comforting word: “If you are wrestling with God about hard questions, my memoir will encourage you to keep wrestling. God is a good Papa and he wants you to know him as your Forever Father.”

To enter the book giveaway, leave a comment here (or in the BlogTalkRadio chatbox during the show) and visit Karen’s website. Be sure to read the first chapter of her book. You’ll see the link when you go to Karen’s Trading Fathers webpage.

You Are Loved!

The Proverbs 31 lady:

Is she a true beauty? Am I?

Are you?

CONFESSION: The description of the Proverbs 31 lady disturbs me. She seems too perfect, too polished, just another unattainable standard. I don’t want to be her, I want to hurt her, maybe knock her on her bottom with one of those spinning karate kicks you’ve seen in a Chuck Norris flick. Wow! It felt good to admit that.

Thankfully, the Proverbs 31 lady doesn’t exist. Theologians agree “she” is a poetic description of what a man would like to see in a wife. Admirable, yes. Should we beat ourselves up if we don’t compare?

 No.

To discern the difference between outer beauty and inner beauty, let’s do a little word study.

Outer beauty:

In verse 30, we read, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting.” The Hebrew word for beauty here is yophiy, and it means “beautiful as to outward appearance.” And it is “fleeting.”

Ain’t that the truth? In my cosmetics bag, I have concealer for minimize wrinkles, foundation to even my complexion, blush to pink my cheeks and eyebrow pencil to fill in gaps.

Gray hair? I prefer to call these strands “platinum.” They blend nicely with the blond.

Ha!

Inner beauty:

A few verses earlier, the noun hadar describes how the Proverbs 31 woman is “clothed”: with splendor and honor, strength and beauty. This beauty is godliness. She “laughs without fear of the future” and “shall rejoice in time to come.”

Her inner beauty shines Jesus! Look at these New Testament verses.

Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of your sinful nature. Romans 13:14

As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.” 2 Peter 5:5b

Now scoot back to Proverbs 31:30. I purposely skipped the second half of the verse, so we could talk about it now. In its entirety, it reads, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” In this context, the word “fear” means to revere, to honor, to adore.

Did you get this? Her belief is her beauty. So is yours.

You can write it as a simple equation:

BELIEF = INNER BEAUTY

I think I’m beginning to like the Proverb 31 lady.

Sure, she sews her clothes and I don’t. She invests in real estate. Not me. She gardens. No green thumb here. She wakes up before dawn and cooks breakfast for the family. I’m sleeping. So much of what she does, I don’t do.

One thing we have in common: We love the Lord.

That’s all that really matters.

You Are Precious!

Mary DeMuth, a bestselling author and international speaker, courageously shared healing words of redemption after childhood sexual abuse on my BlogTalkRadio show, and the women in the chat room went wild.

Not uncontrolled wild.

But ohmyGodsomeoneelsegetsit and I feel understood thankyouJesus kind of wild.

A sweet release. Unshackled.

Wildly in love with Jesus.

If you or someone you know has been sexually abused — okay, okay, that pretty much includes every one since one-in-three women fit this descriptor — please do 3 things:

First, get your hands on Thin Places, Mary’s moving spiritual memoir of God’s touch on her life. . .even at age 5. . .when several teenage boys took their turns with her on a bunk bed in the bedroom while

a mom baked cookies.

Please, someone give me a rock to throw, a pillow to punch, a butt to kick.

I am angry.

Second, if you’ve been abused, tell someone your secret. Shining light in the darkness brings healing. One safe place to tell your secret is Mary’s blog My Family Secrets. You can post anonymously. You may also send me an email. Lucy@LucyAnnMoll.com. I keep confidences.

Third, listen to a replay of Tuesday’s BlogTalkRadio show featuring Mary.

A beautiful warrior — like Mary, like you — seeks healing.

You Are Precious!

My name is Lucy and I’m a chocoholic. Years ago I hid my delicious addiction. Sneak a choc-key here. Sneak a choc-key there. Yes, I do have a pet name for my sweet.

{It rhymes with Rocky, as in Balboa.}  

Then I realized 3 things:

1. Dark chocolate is healthy for you. Its antioxidants zap naughty free radicals that contribute to illness like cancer. Just don’t eat it for breakfast.

Oops! I do that. Rationalization: Morning here is evening in Australia. So HA!

2. Eating chocolate — whatever type — boosts endorphins, the feel-good neurotransmitter.

Of course I could exercise and crank endorphins. Nah. Too sweaty.

3.  Chocolate gives me another reason to thank God. Yep, even for the little things. Like chocolate. And big things, like this amazing promise we Christians often forget: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

No condemnation means without guilt. You are guilt-free because Jesus clothed you in his righteousness the very nano-second you believed he is who he says he is: the Lord of Lords, the King of kings, Savior.

Are you hooked on him?

He created cocoa beans, you know.

You Are Blessed,