Bob Kellemen is a like-minded friend. We’re both biblical counselors, though he has many more letters after his name than I do, and we follow a call to help folks find hope and healing. His latest book is God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. It is sponsored by GriefShare, a Christ-centered ministry with support groups worldwide.

Easy to read, practical and uplifting, this slim volume promises hope. It debunks the psychological model of Swiss-born psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who popularized a five-stage model of grieving based upon her research into how terminally ill persons respond to the news of their terminal illness. Her five stages have since been used worldwide to describe all grief responses: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

In his book, Bob says these “proposed stages in the grief process seek to track typical grief responses. However, they do not attempt to assess if this is what is best to occur. Nor could they assess, simply through scientific research, whether these responses correspond to God’s process for hurting (grieving) and hoping (growing). We must understand something about research in a fallen world. At best, it describes what typically occurs. It cannot, with assurance and authority, prescribe what should occur.”

He shares the Bible’s answer to moving through the grief process.

“Readers are gravely disappointed when the answers to their questions about suffering reflect more of the wisdom of the world than of the truth of God’s Word,” he says. “Christians long for an approach that faces suffering honestly and engages sufferers passionately—all in the context of presenting truth biblically and relevantly. We need to be able to face life’s losses in the context of God’s healing.

“Jesus did.”

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses includes questions for discussions and for journaling. It’s valuable wisdom and encouragement for women or men who suffer any life loss, including divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one.

To read a sample chapter or to purchase, click here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

You Are Valuable!

Ever had deja vu? This haven’t-I’ve- been-here feeling came upon me as I read Carla McDougal’s bible study Reflecting Him. It was “Beth Moore-ish” yet

not.

The oversized book itself has a Beth Moore study feel and Carla connects the reader to Jesus through examples, even oil rigs. (Fascinating in light of the oil spill in the Gulf.)

Any woman going through this study will know Jesus more intimately. Carla’s details abound. 

But. . .

I wanted more Carla. Getting to know the author’s heart means the world to me. Carla’s gives a peek. She says what makes her tick and why she wrote the study. I ate it up. Then it no more Carla. She’s there, of course, behind the scenes, in every sentence. Her passion plays well. I hope her next study shares more of her while she encourages us to reflect Jesus.

RECOMMENDED. And the next Carla study is doubly recommended.   

About Reflecting Him

Reflecting Him: Living for Jesus and Loving It is a ten-week women’s Bible study  that uses familiar objects and situations, such as pottery, the human sensory system, and the sun-earth connection, to show women how Jesus works in their lives every day. Each week is divided into five days (lessons), supporting the central theme for the week. Read the first two chapters (or weeks) online.

The study also has an online component through a Reflecting Him Bible Study Group on Facebook. This means if you choose to work through the study on your own, you can still join in group discussion. More than 200 people are in the group already and the discussions are really taking off.

This fall a leaders guide, videos, and music will be released to accompany the study.

About Carla

Carla McDougal is the founder of Reflective Life Ministries and Share Fair, an annual conference for connecting, equipping, and encouraging women in ministry. She speaks at women’s events, retreats, and conferences in the U.S. and internationally. Carla married her high school sweetheart, Fred, and they have four children ages 16 to 23 and live in Magnolia, Texas. Reflecting Him: Living for Jesus and Loving It (WinePress Publishing, 2010) is Carla’s first book, although she’s been involved in leading and teaching Bible studies for more than 20 years. Carla writes a Monday morning e-votional at her blog, Carla’s Corner.

An Interesting Offer

With every group purchase of 25 or more studies before August 1, Carla will lead a tele-lesson (over speaker phone) for one of your group meetings. Please email windy(at)reflectivelifeministries.org to purchase books. Mention the blog tour and tele-lesson at the time of ordering.

You can purchase Reflecting Him through Amazon, Christianbook.com, or Reflective Life Ministries.

The Reflecting Him Blog Tour, hosted by RedCouch PR, is June 20 - July 16. Yesterday’s post as at Life in Review and tomorrow’s will be at Of Sound Mind and Spirit. Follow along to read a different guest post, interview, or review each day.

You Are Precious!

Life in Defiance, the third book in Mary DeMuth’s Texas Trilogy, hits truth hard. What is it? Where do I find it? What do I do when a man of God slithers, his forked tongue spouting lies as while sniffing its next casualty.

And there will be a next casualty.

This is the story of domestic violence and Ouisie Pepper, who wants to become the wife and mother her snake-pastor-husband demands. She tries

and tries

and tries.

She still gets punched and slammed and kicked by a well-polished pastor’s shoe. She numbs her pain with vanilla-spiked liquor kept in a flower vase. 

This is the story of redemption.

While the adults hide and seek, I wonder what will become of  the kids: Jed, whose best friend, Daisy, was murdered (Daisy Chain, the first book in the trilogy) and Sissy, a lisping little girl lost? I asked Mary. She said she might suggest a second book series on the kids to the publisher. I hope it happens.

I want the kids to break the cycle of abuse and find their own redemption.

To discover how Mary herself broke the cycle of abuse, listen to my interview with her.

Mary dedicated Life in Defiance “to drowning wives who want to fly.” Following her lead I’m offering a free copy of her book to you, whether you’re drowning, gasping or swimming strong.

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment.

You Are Blessed!

A Matter of Character by Robin Lee Hatcher gave me dark circles under my eyes. I lost sleep as turned pages into the wee hours of the morn. Was the need for extra makeup worth it? Yep.

Here’s a summary: Dapne McKinley isn’t your ordinary heiress. She secretly writes dime novels featuring a nefarious villian known as Rawhide Rick.

Smart, confident, Dafne isn’t afraid to defy convention. Even if it is 1918.

Nobody in Bethlehem Springs knows the man behind the stories. . .except Daphne. But when newspaperman Joshua Crawford comes to town searching for the man who sullied the good name of his grandfather, Daphne finds herself at a crossroads, reassessing the power of her words, re-thinking how best to honor her gifts, and reconsidering what she wants out of life.

She chooses love.

About the Author:

Robin Lee Hatcher is the author of sixty novels, including A Vote of Confidence, When Love Blooms, Wagered Heart, Return to Me and Catching Katie, named one of the Best Books of 2004 by Library Journal. Winner of the Christy Award for Excellence in Christian Fiction, two RITA Awards for Best Inspirational Romance and the RWA Lifetime Achievement Award, Robin lives in Idaho.

A Matter of Character
Release: June 2010
Soft cover, 272 pp.
ISBN: 0310258073

Here’s a list of other bloggers on this book’s blog tour.

Psst. . .I received a free copy of the book from the publisher in order to review it. If you’d like me to pass my copy to you — no coffee stains, promise — leave a comment.  

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

You Are Beautiful,

Francine Rivers hooked me on the first page of her novel Her Mother’s Hope, all about the intricate relationships of mothers and daughters. It goes to the heart of beauty and strength, adversity and love.

A quick description: Marty, a spunky and intelligent though homely girl, leaves her home in a small Swiss town in the early 1900s, where her father is abusive and her mother coddles her younger sister. She learns to make a way in the world, holding tight to her dream to open an inn, and eventually moves to Canada, where she meets a handsome man who sees

her true beauty.

Marta’s eldest daughter, Hildie, is her mother’s opposite. While Marta is forceful, Hildie shows compassion.

This novel prompted me to think about how my own mom influenced me and how I treat my daughters. Our pasts affect our present,

for better or worse.

Her Mother’s Hope is more than an excellent read. It makes you think about relationships that matter.

Francine, Can you tell us something about your Christian testimony?

I was reared in a Christian home. My parents were active in church, my father an elder, my mother a deaconess. I attended Christian summer camps, youth group and said grace at every meal.  I thought being born into a Christian family and raised in the faith made me a Christian.  It didn’t.

Each person makes their own choice, and it took me years to surrender to Jesus – not until after I’d gone through college, married, had children and started a writing career. Rick and I went to church, but came away dissatisfied and knowing there must be something more. We both had personal issues that brought us close to divorce several times. We wanted our own way and to have control over our own lives. Having control is an illusion.

Our marriage was on the verge of collapse when Rick started his own business. We moved to northern California to be closer to family.  We made many outer changes, but no change of the heart.  As we moved into our rental house, a little boy came over to help and said, “Have I got a church for you!”

We weren’t ready to listen. The lady on the other side of our fence also invited us to the same church. Out of desperation, I went a few weeks later. It was my first experience with “expository teaching.” The pastor taught straight out of the Bible, explaining the historical context, what the scriptures were saying, and what they had to do with me in the present. I drank it in!  I took my three children to church.  They loved it. Rick resisted (after having a somewhat disheartening experience with a denominational church in Southern California). 

I asked the pastor if he would be willing to teach a home Bible study.  He agreed — if Rick agreed, which he did.  Studying the Bible changed our lives. Our hearts and minds opened to Christ. We both accepted Jesus as Savior and LORD and were baptized in May 1986.  Since then, God has been changing our lives from the inside out. The Lord also healed our marriage. We celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary this year.  

Tell us about your current work.

I have just completed the second in a set of two books about mother-daughter relationship over four generations. This was intended to be one long novel dealing with the different ways generations have lived out their faith – but became so long it needed to be divided. Her Mother’s Hope was released on March 16, 2010. Her Daughter’s Dream will follow in September. There are numerous family and personal details woven into both books and I plan to share those things on my blog. You may find out more about my new book and more by visiting my web site at www.FrancineRivers.com.

Here’s the book trailer.

PLEASE NOTE: A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me as a blog tour host by Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for posting this interview on my blog. Please visit Christian Speaker Services at www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com for more information about blog tour management services.

You Are Beautiful!

When I curled up with the memoir Love Mercy by Lisa Samson and her daughter, Ty — given to me by the publisher – I never expected to laugh, cry and feel mad.

Throw-the-book-across-the-room mad.

This often raw story of a mom and her 18-year-old daughter – and the bazillion people they meet – took me from the comfort of  a perfectly fine Baltimore suburb to the heart of Lexington, Kentucky, where they and the rest of the family joined an “intentional Chrisitian community”

(more on that in a sec)

to Africa. Not The Lion King Africa and Hakuna matata, a problem-free philosophy.

But the Africa of AIDS.

Lisa and Ty say they went there to minister and to chronicle the crisis devastating the continent. And they do. They also find Christ’s love abounding.

This leads Lisa to the must-ask question: “What if every Christian in the world reached out in love and deed to one sick AIDS patient, one lonely orphan, one poor widow, one hungry family? Why does that sound impossibly hard to us? What if we did it anyway?”

What if?

What if we love mercy, act justly, and walk humbly with God?

The journey from the American dream to the kingdom of God, by way of Africa, sends Lisa into a downward spiral upon return to her intentional community. This community — which we learn early in the book was a place Lisa and the kids did not want to go, thank you very much – shows Jesus to the people in the poorest part of the city through action.

Back home Lisa questions her faith. She blames God. She struggles believing she can do anything to help. She admits she still kept God the Father at arm’s length.

The words of an old Methodist pastor turned hosptal chaplain challenge her back to life.

“Do you want to love God the Father,” he asks

“I want to want to,” she answers.

Loving God, loving our neighbors as ourselves — wherever they may be — this is the journey. Lisa and Ty take it, though hard. They leave comfort and enter unexpected beauty.

It’s not safe, but real — this land of “what if.” Just like Love Mercy.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

You Are Beautiful!

I must choose wisely which novels I read. If I allow my book passion to rule me, then my house grows dust bunnies, the sink full of dishes begins to stink, and my kids chant, “Food, food, food.”

If you think that’s bad, it can and has gotten worse. “Pour yourselves breakfast cereal,” I snarl and turn the page.

“That’s what you said last night, Mom, and we have no milk.”

“Use water.”

Okay, okay. I fictionalized the part about water.

Truly I’m a fiction connoisseur and my favorite read this year (so far) is Dark Pursuit by bestselling author Brandilyn Collins. I met Brandilyn through Twitter, the latest trend in social networking. Through her tweets on Twitter, she exposed her heart for a homeless teen girl and her mom. You can read the teen’s blog here.

Brandilyn is an example of a beautiful warrior. She arises and changes her world because Christ has changed her.

Thank you, Brandilyn, for reaching out to these two and for sharing another novel with a message, subtle yet real.

Dark Pursuit is the story of broken dreams, danger and hope. Kaitlan, 22 years old, pregnant and a former drug addict, has a monstrous problem: her boyfriend (a police officer) knows too much about a murder. Could he be the killer?

Kaitlan flees to her grandfather, a famous novelist known as the “King of Suspense.” Two more problems: 1) he cut her off after she stole from him to buy drugs and they haven’t reconciled, and 2) he can’t think straight. He was in an auto accident that muddled his mind. Kaitlan hopes he can help her. But will he? Can he?

As one twist turns to another, the reader creeps into the darkened minds of two (or is it three?) writers. Collins brilliantly sets up the surprise ending. I didn’t see it coming. She’s that good.

Reading Dark Pursuit gave me hope for the hurting: the elderly, the young, people who’ve broken the chains of addiction, families in need of reconnection and forgiveness. It also reminded me to put my family before my work.

“No cereal tonight! I’m making your favorite: spaghetti with Italian sausage. How does that sound?”

Highly recommended.

You Are Beautiful, Lucy

I didn’t like The Perfect Life at first. The opening pages of this novel by Robin Lee Hatcher describe a one-dimensional life that’s gaggingly perfect: A hunk of a husband. A gorgeous home. Great grown-up daughters. A thriving ministry.

The perfect life. Uggh! Show me the nearest place to toss my cookies.

Then Hatcher reveals one crack in pretty porcelain Katherine Clarkson, and another, and I was hooked. I am convinced Hatcher penned the opening pages of perfection to set up the unveiling of Katherine’s mud mask. By the end of the book, you walk with Katherine through her self-doubt, thoughts of divorce, her willingness to believe lies so easily and her anger toward the people she loves the most, even God.  

The story of Katherine and hubby Brad could be mine. (Or yours? )

Many of us women let the people around us see what we want them to see — that we are capable and need no help, that we have life figured out, that we’re, ahem, perfect. 

This novel gives its readers a reality check. Am I really trusting God or going through the motions? Am I real?  It’s worth a read. You’ll rethink “perfect.” And you may even draw closer to God’s idea of perfection.

Bonus: Hatcher includes an excellent group reading guide at the back of the book.

Robin Lee Hatcher is an award-winning novelist of more than 60 books. She is known for her emotionally charged novels of faith. Her latest: When Love Blooms.

Highly recommended.