Anger! Do you blow up or clam up when you’re mad? Anger is among the most common emotions you experience. And it is impatient! So would you like to know how to replace your mad with patience?
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind ot one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Root Cause of Anger
Anger surfaces when you a wrong–real or perceived. Here are a few examples. What would you add to this list?
- Your dog chews up your favorite shoes.
- Your 16 year old promises to clean her mess of a room but doesn’t.
- A girlfriend asks you to lunch and never shows.
- Your husband asks you to lie to his boss.
- Your job is “eliminated.”
Types of Anger
Have you heard someone say, “I never get angry,” and in the next breath, she complains or speaks in an irritated tone of voice?
It’s a misconception that anger is only “loud”–yelling, slamming doors, a cutting comment, rage. In truth, it may also be “quiet”–the silent treatment, gossip, self-pity, apathy. The former “blows up” while the latter “clams up.” Both are destructive.
When you’re angry, do you tend to blow up, clam up, or bounce between the two? Click & Tweet!Several years ago, I counseled a woman whose husband lost his well-paying job when the company learned he looked at pornography on his work computer. She never yelled. She never screamed. But she was red-hot angry inside. It showed up as headaches, sleeplessness, and worry.
Thankfully, she learnd the root of her anger and resolved it. Her husband was genuinely repentant, and she forgave him. And, most important, she handled her anger biblically. Among the verses she heeded was this:
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26).
Revealing Anger
A common assignment I give to counselees is keeping a thought journal. The journal I use helps them assess their anger, fear, or other difficult emotions. It also helps counselees make new, godly habits.
In counseling, I also ask questions that help reveal the reason behind the anger. Some are:
- What is going on that led to anger?
- How dis you react?
- What did you desire when you were angry? (Common ones are pride, people-pleasing, and security.)
- What were the consequences of your anger?
Resolving Anger
After you assess your anger, it’s time to turn from the false gods you identified in question 3 above. Then turn to Jesus: confess (agree with God) that you sinned, repent, and thank God for the forgiveness that Jesus provided through the cross.
Now choose to trust God and obey him. When you trust and obey, you’ll experience thankfulness as well as changes in your thoughts, emotions, and actions. And so peace and patience replace anger.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).
As a result, your faith grows. Your contentment deepens. You have more patience too. Click & Tweet!
God gives you everything you need to live a victorious, godly life free of any anger problem.
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.
You get a taste of heaven now. Click & Tweet! And God keeps teaching you more about himself as patience replaces anger.
Sharing hope with your heart,
