Abortion stories are very rarely shared in most churches today.
Christian women are far more likely to admit depression or anxiety, a rebellious kid, or a troubled marriage.
One reason Christian women don’t talk their abortions is fear of condemnation from other Christians. Click & Tweet!
Last year’s undercover videos of Planned Parenthood got everyone talking about the horrific selling baby parts after abortion. It set social media on fire. My heart hurt as I heard of the sale of livers and kidneys and craniums.
And my heart hurts. . .for the women and girls who’ve had abortions.
I am privileged to know Tiffany Stuart, a blogger and a wonderful women who shares her abortion story at Tea with Tiffany. God is using her ministry to educate women and to bring healing to those who’ve ended their pregnancies and feel horrible, empty, numb, angry, depressed, and unforgivable. Her voice offers healing words.
It Could Happen to Anyone
Lynn was just 17. College bound. A steady boyfriend. And a missed period, then another.
Did you know that every year in the U.S., there are roughly 1 million abortions? 1.5 percent of abortions are pregnancies from rape or incest. Lynn’s boyfriend drove her to the clinic and paid for the abortion.
“I’m so scared,” she confided to me. (Names have been changed.)
We were close friends, Lynn and me. After “it” was over, we never spoke of her abortion. Like it never happened. Back then I had believed the “right to choose” propaganda, and if an abortion was right for Lynn, then fine. Just get it over with and move on right? Right?
If it were that easy, why did we never speak of it again? Ever. Were we. . .
Ignorant?
Ashamed?
Prideful?
I didn’t know then what I know now: Women who have abortions are in desperate need of emotional and spiritual healing.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV)
Honestly, if I had known the devastation to women, I would not have helped my friend get an abortion. In fact, I would have yelled, screamed, laid down in front of her car, anything but stay silent.
The workers at Planned Parenthood had told Lynn that her unborn baby was a blob of tissue.
They are wrong. She was wrong. I was wrong. We know better now, don’t we?
Breaking the Silence in Churches
If you want to help make your church a safe place to share painful secrets of abortion, start with prayer. Ask God to bring a hurting woman into your life. If you’ve had an abortion, ask God to send you a compassionate woman whom you can trust.
Here are warm words for compassionate friends and hurting women.
Dear compassionate friend, the hurting woman won’t tell you her pain at first. She needs to know she can trust you. She needs to know you won’t condemn her.
The Bible says,
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1, NIV)
Dear hurting woman, are you afraid to tell a friend about your abortion? If you haven’t experienced healing, you need to reach out. Do you feel nervous or angry around babies and children? Sorrowful? This sorrow may show up as uncharacteristic silence. These are signs you need healing.
Dear compassionate friend, offer her hope. She must learn that nothing can separate her from God’s love. Show her this verse in the Bible:
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39, NIV)
Dear hurting woman, you’ll find peace when you reconcile with God, with yourself and with others. If you haven’t already, talk with God and agree with him that you made a bad decision. Ask for his forgiveness. He will give it to you. At Calvary Jesus paid for all of your sins–past, present and future. However, you do not need to forgive yourself. No where in Scripture are we commanded to do this. God’s forgiveness is all that matters.
Dear compassionate friend, help the hurting woman reconcile with others when possible by speaking the truth in love to people who had a role in the abortion. They may have sinned against her, or she against them. Guide her in these difficult conversations.
Dear hurting woman, do you need a healing way to remember your loss? If you desire, write a poem or draw or sculpt, or memorize a scripture verse, to remember God’s loving-kindness toward you.
If anyone reading these words had an abortion, may you wrap yourself is the truth that God loves you and is for you. Why not talk with him? He’s waiting with open, gentle arms.
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Sharing Hope with Your Heart,
Lucy, This is beautiful, caring, and touching. Your heart is so precious and it comes through in your concern for others. May the Lord bless you!
Thank you, Lynn. You are so special to me. Your encouragement warms my toes (and my mouse hand). : )
Your compassionate heart is expressed so beautifully here, Lucy. I have a sister who suffered this experience, who came to me sobbing many years ago, afraid that the Lord would never forgive her. It was a “secret” she walked with for years that was eating her up from the inside out. She didn’t need condemnation, she needed compassion, and the truth of His love and forgiveness. I pray for the women reading here, that they would experience the deep love of God the Father through Christ, that they might be healed and made whole in Him. ?
Lucy,
What a beautiful blog post. I pray for those who’ve suffered the abuse of abortion, being fed the lie that their baby is just a blob of tissue. If that lie is firmly entrenched in their minds, they must feel crazy for the grief that they cannot escape after the abortion. And the guilt that engulfs them.
I too had a college roommate who had an abortion. I did not know Jesus then, and I believed that it was her choice. I lost touch with her years ago. But today, because of your post here, I prayed for her, that God would bring her healing; and I confessed my part in the act, the fact that I remained neutral and silent, while she made a decision that would cripple her emotions. You see, even though I believed it was her choice, I also have an adopted sister, whose mom was an unwed teen mother. I knew the beauty of adoption, and could have at least counseled her to consider that option.
I know of two other women who have had abortions. They are not close friends, but both have played significant roles in one of my children’s lives. I prayed this morning for them, as well. I prayed for their healing from the pain of their pasts, for them to come to a saving relationship with Christ and to experience the freedom of forgiveness.
Thank you for being the catalyst for these prayers!
God bless you,
Cheri