Loneliness touches every woman some of the time. Do you feel lonely now? Do you know someone who does? Here are five godly solutions to loneliness.
Loneliness has run amok in our super-connected Facebook-y, Instagram-my, Twitter-ed world, don’t you agree? Relationships have suffered. Jealousy flourishes. Even happy events like the wedding of a son or daughter may usher in a melancholy of loneliness.
Have you experienced an upheavel like a move? or lost employment? or a health issue? These can bring on loneliness. Destructive emotions can spiral into loneliness too.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17, ESV
Here are 5 practical, godly solutions to loneliness.
1. Do not give in to self-pity.
At first self-pitying thoughts may seem comforting. You may feel a right to your indignation. But it is a false comfort since you are holding anger inside. And these creates more loneliness.
2. Believe what God says about you.
Don’t listen to the lies the world tells you. Don’t listen to the lies you tell yourself. Believing lies leads to greater loneliness. Believe the truth of your true identity in Christ.
3. Draw close to the Lord.
How do you draw close to Jesus? Here are some ways: Read Scripture and think on it. Asking God for biblical wisdom and apply it to your life. Listen to praise music. Join a women’s bible study.
4. Get a physical exam.
What does seeing a medical doctor have to do with loneliness? Maybe nothing, maybe a lot. If you have a physical condition that zaps your energy, then getting care may help make friendships easier.
One of my adult daughters, for instance, had undiagnosed hypothyroidism. The doctor ordered a blood test that revealed the core physical problem. Once she began medication, she felt physically better and reengaged with friends and coworkers.
5. Take a risk: Show love to others.
I remember when our family moved to a new town where I knew no one. My thought: “Find friends at my new church!” And for a month or so the church ladies talked to me, then nada. Barley a peep! Feeling lonely and deserted, I prayed, “Lord, make the church ladies show me hospitality and friendship.”
Amazing to me, as I reached out to the women, I connected. Did all my loneliness flutter away? Not at all. But I felt better and, more important, I was doing what God directed.
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 1 Peter 4:9
What interferes with your connections with friends and family? What’s one thing that would foster connection?
Sharing Hope with Your Heart,
We moved out of state last summer, leaving 3 kids behind in college, and I have battled loneliness for a year. Some days have been extremely hard for me and I questioned God repeatedly about WHY we had to move. But I finally accepted our circumstances and have gained greater peace through acceptance, trusting God’s plan for us, instead of arguing and questioning Him. I continue to pray for a lady friend who I can bond with and connect with, but I haven’t found that friendship yet. I have used running to help me cope with my fluctuating emotions and stay on top of my loneliness.
Thank you for your post. I have struggled with self-pity and self-lies and continue to ask God to show me the truth.
Gayla, I am glad to know you have peace. Moving is tough, leaving behind friends and, in your case, college kids. Keep praying for God to introduce you to a new friend. Years ago, when my husband and I moved an hour from our old home and I had two young ones at home, I found new friends at church.
I pray God connects you with someone dear. Please try to be patient as you wait.
Walls I put up to keep me from being hurt leave me feeling lonely a lot. The fear of being hurt again still outweighs the loneliness I guess or I wouldn’t be stuck in this place.
Hi Elizabeth,
The Bible calls this fear the “fear of man” — which includes desiring people’s approval OR desiring to NOT receive their disapproval. And, yes, it is a lonely place. This will would sound simple: The way out is choosing to please God above all. Easy to say, hard to do. It is a moment-by-moment holy struggle. Over time, it becomes easier.
May God continue to bless you.
In His Hope, Lucy