The Proverbs 31 woman disturbs me. Too perfect, too polished, just another unattainable standard.
I’ll never measure up. Ever.
Am I jealous? Perhaps.
You see, I don’t want to be her. I want to hurt her. Wow! It felt good to admit that.
Thankfully the Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t exist. Most theologians agree she is a poetic description of what character traits a man would like in a wife. This lady rises before dawn to cook breakfast. She makes her own wool, sews, and has a profitable stay-at-home business in sales and trade.
I suspect she’s beautiful too. What guy wouldn’t appreciate the good looks of Katherine Webb? She gained 200,000 Twitter followers after a sports moderator commented on her beauty during the Alabama-Notre Dame football championship game. And she is a former Miss Alabama.
Beautiful? Naturally.
But we know the mantra: Inner beauty matters most. The Bible has an interesting spin. Shall we peek?
Outer Beauty Versus Inner Beauty
To discern the difference between outer beauty and inner beauty, let’s do an easy mini Bible word study.
Outer beauty:
In verse 31:30, we read, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting.” The Hebrew word for beauty here is yophiy, and it means “beautiful as to outward appearance.” And it is “fleeting.”
Ain’t that the truth? In my cosmetics bag, I have concealer for minimize wrinkles, foundation to even my complexion, blush to pink my cheeks, and eyebrow pencil to fill in gaps.
Gray hair? I prefer to call these strands “platinum.” They blend nicely with the blond.
Inner beauty:
A few verses earlier, the noun hadar describes how the Proverbs 31 woman is “clothed”: with splendor and honor, strength and beauty. This beauty is godliness.She “laughs without fear of the future” and “shall rejoice in time to come.”
Her inner beauty shines Jesus! Look at these New Testament verses.
Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of your sinful nature. Romans 13:14
As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble. 2 Peter 5:5b
Now scoot back to Proverbs 31:30. I purposely skipped the second half of the verse, so we could talk about it now. In its entirety, it reads, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” In this context, the word “fear” means to revere, to honor, to adore.
Did you get this? Her belief is her beauty. So is yours.
A Simple Equation
You can write it as a simple equation: BELIEF = INNER BEAUTY
I think I’m beginning to like the Proverb 31 lady. Sure, she sews her clothes and I don’t.She invests in real estate. Not me. She gardens. No green thumb here. She wakes up before dawn and cooks breakfast for the family. I’m sleeping. So much of what she does, I don’t do.
One thing we have in common: We love the Lord.
That’s all that really matters.
photo credit: Kaptain Kobold via photopin cc
Question: How does the Proverbs 31 women inspire — or anger — you? Please share your thought in Comments, below. Thanks!
Hopefully Yours,
Add Pinterest on top of that and the rest of us underachievers race to the porch. Love your take. We should all recognize what’s important, celebrate our unique gifts, and admire those printable, custom Valentines your kid’s friends give out while he’s busy stuffing Tootsie Roll Pops back onto the CVS brands. But hey, it all goes in the trash anyway, right? Except for the candy…I have lots of size 2, thick wavy-headed friends where the only thing we have in common is our love of God. Which is enough.
I didn’t realize that so many women felt pressured by Pro 31. Proverbs is my favorite book of the Bible. Although I’ve never felt pressured by Pro 31, I believe that it can be used disproportionately. There are many other Bible verses and illustrations that edify women that rarely get mentioned.
With that being said, many Bible women were virtuous and had some of the traits outlined in Pro 31.
Everyone in her community knew that Ruth was a virtuous woman (Ruth 3:11).
These women were called blessed:
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” (Pro 31:29)
Most blessed among women is Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite. May she be blessed above all women who live in tents. (Jud 5:24)
Mary – Thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. (Luke 1:28)
These women spoke wisdom and faithful instruction. (Pro 31:26).
Unnamed wise woman of Abel’s wise instruction saved her city. (2 Sam 20:19-22)
Esther was woman of strength and dignity who feared God. Her wisdom helped saved the Jews from annihilation. (Book of Esther)
Pilate’s wife spoke with wisdom and faithful instruction. (Mt 27:19)
Others in her community had “full confidence” in the prophet Huldah’s ability to authenticate a very important book for the king. (2 king 22:14-20).
Rahab “watched over the affairs of her household.” She wisely and faithfully “instructed” the spies about how to hide and escape. She negotiated a plan that would save her life and the lives of those in her household. (Heb 11:31)
Priscilla worked with her hands too. She was a tent maker. She assisted her husband in giving Apollos wise and faithful instruction. (Acts 18:26)
Prophetess Anna’s lamp didn’t go out at night because she worshiped God day and night by fasting and praying. She wasn’t idle, and wisdom and faithful instruction were on her tongue. (Luke 2:36-38)
Judge & Prophet Deborah wisely instructed the people of Israel. (Judges chapter 4 & 5)
She has been like a merchant’s ship that brings its merchandise from far away. (Pro 31:14)
The Queen of Sheba literally brought Solomon gifts of gold, large quantities of spices, and precious stones from away. (1 Kings 10:6-10). Also like Pro 31 woman, Queen of Sheba’a earned a reward, and her quest for wisdom brought her praise. Queen of Sheba is one of the few women Jesus celebrates from the OT. She came from afar to hear the wisdom of a mere man. She was amazed at what she saw and heard. However, when Jesus who was greater than Solomon came, many despised, rejected, slighted and slandered Him. (Mt12:42)
Watched over affairs of household (Pro 31:27)
Zipporah knew what she needed to do to save her husband’s life. She brought him goodness and not harm. (Ex 4:14-20)
Moses’ mom hid him. Moses may or may not have called her blessed, but Paul felt she was blessed and listed her in the Hebrew Hall of faith. (Heb 11:23).
Deacon Phoebe helped watch over the affairs of the household of faith. (Rom 16:1-2)
Brings goodness rather than harm. (Prov 31:12)
Midwives did what was “good” for newborns and refused to harm them like the king commanded. (Ex 1:15-21)
Helps poor (Prov 31:20)
Dorcas helped the poor. (Acts 9:36)
Doesn’t let her lamp go out… (Pro 31:18)
Wise virgin didn’t allow her lamp to go out. She was prepared when Bridegroom came. (Matt 25:1-12)
Like the Pro 31 woman, Lydia was a woman of noble character. The name “Lydia” means noble. The Pro 31 woman wore purple, and Lydia sold it. Pro 31 woman was a merchant and so was Lydia. (Acts 16:14, 40)
None of these women were superwoman, but each was super and virtuous in her own way. Instead of looking at all the ways we might not measure up to the Pro 31, may we consider the traits that we have in common with her like the women mentioned above. I truly hope this blesses you dear sisters. I know it blessed me.
Thanks for sharing. I am blessed by all your examples of godly women. Thank you!
I think there’s more to the Proverbs 31 woman than people initially realize when just reading the passage. I’ve incidentally been reading a new book by Dr. Tony Evans and his daughter, Chrystal Evans Hurst called “Kingdom Woman” that has really been resonating with me and giving me new insights. Right off the bat they talk about the Proverbs 31 woman being the hallmark of kingdom women, “But the Proverbs 31 woman is not the model of a perfect woman. Neither is a kingdom woman called to perfection. Women, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman and more – but that doesn’t mean you do it all at the same time.” They talk about life flowing through seasons and about getting help, not trying to do it all. It’s really interesting. Thank you for your perspective in your article. If you’re interested in Dr. Evan’s book, they have free downloads at kingdomwomanbook.com.