Would’t it be terrific to mend your hurting heart after divorce?
Today is the second of eight posts in the blog series, “Mending a Broken Heart.” You can read the first post here.
We’ll talk about hope and healing from tough stuff like abuse and divorce, addiction and the death of loved ones in our time together. Often I’ll excerpt A Broken Heart by Kc Hutter whom I best-buddied on Facebook.
Kc knows death by divorce times two (plus by leaving a live-in lover who abused her).
Isn’t it reassuring that Kc found and married the love of her life nearly 30 years ago?
Isn’t God good?
As you probably know, the divorce rate increases for second and third marriages: In the United States, the divorce rate for first marriage is 41 percent; for second marriages, 60 percent; for third marriages, 73 percent. The younger you marry, the greater the likelihood of divorce.
Less than a year after high school graduation, Kc and Delmer wed. Two baby boys came along. Delmer traveled as a salesman. Men noticed Kc, lonely and fun. A dangerous combination.
Here’s a bit of Kc’s story. You’ll meet the precious red-headed girl with the green tin suitcase, all grown up and looking for love. I added three application questions at the end.
“Are You Having an Affair”
“Are you having an affair with Pat? I can’t live without you,” Delmer shouted. His eyes glared at me. He meant business.
Pat owned a local bar. My girlfriend, Nick, and I hung out at Pat’s bar. We played pool, danced to the juke box, drank screwdrivers, and told funny stories.
Party life with Nicky–wow–I had never experienced such freedom. Drinking made me feel taller, smarter, and cuter.
Delmer moved from North Dakota to Minnesota for his job. The boys and I followed. Things between us didn’t improve. We never fought, but we weren’t able to communicate. We divorced–agreeing that the distance between us seemed to great for reconcilation.
Many times after my divorce, I was free to fly on my own, but I crashed more than once–looking for someone, anyone, to love me.
I drank a lot vodka and developed a “come here, go away” personality. This made me feel safe. I could abandon a man before he abandoned me.
Kc fell in love again and again. First Anthony, then Richard. Her divorce with Richard messed her over. Booze, pills, insomnia, and escaping into work.
Happiness faded as she sobered. Hurting. Alone. She flipped open the Yellow Pages and dialed the number of a psychiatrist.
What Kc didn’t know: God had a surprise in store.
Like Kc, I’ve experienced divorce–my parents’. My parents divorced when I was 8, remarried a year later, and divorced again while in my 20s. My dad married another woman, divorced, and married this third wife. He and his current wife have discussed divorce. They have three children, all teens.
My mom died of a massive heart attack about five years after their divorce.
I hate divorce. It’s a death. It hurts.
Be sure to read Thursday’s post in the “Mending a Broken Heart” series and find out how you can best grieve a troubled marriage and find hope.
Kc was brought up in the church but did not have a personal relationship with Jesus until after her third failed relationship (two divorces, one live-in lover). She now guides those who are hurting and without hope to the Mender of Broken Hearts. She is married and lives in Washington State with her husband, Jerry.
A Few Questions
1. How has divorced touched your life? How have you hurt?
2. In what cases do you believe divorce condoned? In our culture? According to biblical teaching?
3. Which parts of Kc’s story resonates with you?
Hope for You
“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you:
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Hope and Blessings,