The power of hope heals hearts, but broken hearts sometimes despair. Is your heart hopeful?
One medical study after another say you really can die of a broken heart. Among the first surveys figured that widowers were at an increased risk to die within six months of their wives’ deaths. It discovered that the 4,500 widowers in the survey had a mortality rate 40 percent higher than other men the same age.
Did they love their wives so much they just couldn’t go on?
Sounds sweet. . .bittersweet.
Almost romantic.
Yet researchers found a link between a higher mortality rate and a loss of hope.
The Placebo Effect
When a pharmaceutical wants to test the efficacy of a drug, it uses a double-blind study so that neither the doctor nor the patient knows if it is the real thing or an “inert” control drug. It’s the truest test. Before double blind testing, almost all new drugs had grand success, no matter the chemical composition of the medicine.
Researchers eventually concluded that a doctor’s demeanor was at play. Doctors unconsciously projected confidence and hope of improvement. . .and patients got better. They had hope.
A hopeless person is in trouble. Listen:
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs: 13:12
This proverb is an axiom giving a general truth. It’s not a guarantee. Even hopeless people who have a disability or lost their home or grieve the death of a loved one can grow in hope like a field of daisies.
It’s Attitude
While some people — like my daughter Julia (aka “Energizer Bunny”) — has a naturally hopeful spirit, others can “catch” hope.
Think of Ruth and Naomi, women in the Bible. After the death of her husband Ruth just keeps going, without moaning, over rough terrain all the way from Moab to Bethlehem, the homeland of her woe-is-me mother-in-law. Naomi, a widow, says of herself: “I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty” (Ruth 1:21).
Do you feel empty? Are you facing a hardship?
God comforts the broken-hearted. He is your hope.
There is no simple formula for healing a broken heart. Each person’s situation is unique to her.
No Simple Formula
Here are three ideas from the prophet Elijah’s low point. You can read it in 1 Kings 19:3-18. These actions help. Sometimes you need biblical counseling too.
1. Eat good food.
2. Rest well.
3. Listen to God’s whisper.
And four more from personal experience.
4. Spend time with supportive friends.
5. Do something that make you laugh. A hilarious movie or TV show? Watching the antics of little kids?
6. Take a walk or ride a bike or do anything that gets you moving.
7. Help someone.
Question: What action helps you experience hope?
Hoping in God,
Hi Lucy! Found you from Twitter and saw this post. As a former widow, I can definitely agree that spouses can really die from a broken heart. Fortunately, I surrendered to God to heal my heart and it worked! Wouldn’t know any other way to do it:) Great post!
Thanks for finding me! God is in the business of healing hearts. He loves you lavishly. Come by and visit again. Blessings, Lucy
Lucy,
My own father died of a broken heart 2 months after my mom went to heaven. He told me at her funeral that he was going to be with her soon. Daddy and Mama were born next door to each other and grew up together. Daddy had no siblings. Mama was his best friend. They married in 1950 and were married for just over 60 years.
I have been a widow now for a little over 3 years and I remember wondering for the first 1 1/2 years how my heart could possibly keep beating because it hurt so badly. Slowly but surely God is healing this heart of mine although I still long for my husband of 36+ years. You see, less than 2 months after he went to heaven, my mother joined him. Two months after that, my dad followed.
Thank you for your post.
Candy,
My heart aches for you. So much loss. I’m glad you have an amazing story of your parents’ love. God is healing you. Keep on hoping. God is hope. Blessings, Lucy